Understanding Your Emotional Makeup

Understanding Your Emotional Makeup


If knowledge is power, then having a sound understanding of your emotional makeup can help to manage emotions more successfully and effectively. To make this happen, requires having the right strategies that provide specific results. 

As Tom Waits said, “How you do anything, is how you do everything.” And yes, this applies to our emotions too. Often, a part of the solution is understanding what it is you are working with – at lease short term. It may seem obvious but in my book, asking ‘what is an emotion?’ is a great place to start.

Although there are several theories regarding emotions, the consensus amongst psychologists is that there are six basic human emotions.

These are:

  • Fear
  • Anger
  • Surprise
  • Happiness
  • Sadness
  • Disgust

Further research by psychologist Paul Eckman showed that these emotions are innate, universal, and usually expressed through facial expressions. As children grow up these emotions will become influenced through socialization and education. The kind of emotional associations made during these informative years will have a large impact on the way anger and forgiveness are processed and managed later on in life.

On the surface, emotions may seem a given and therefore straightforward. Yet a study conducted in 2007 by Hockenbury showed that there is more to each emotion than initially thought. An emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components:

  1. A subjective experience
  2. A physiological response
  3. A behavioural or expressive response.

This psychological observation is important when wanting to change an emotion and create a new emotional response and association. Each of these components needs to be addressed effectively, separately. Missing any of these steps leads to emotional incongruency and could explain why people often feel at the mercy of their emotions and struggle to detach.

Humans are extremely complex in their emotional makeup because there are layers and triggers of all kinds involved. From very young, we are indoctrinated about what each emotion means, and we are told when and how it is or isn’t appropriate to feel that way. The lines are drawn and we are expected to operate within them.

Although there are these common agreements, the subjective component is always at play. Each emotion is experienced individually in a myriad of ways and intensities. Think of a few different times when you felt angry. Was your feeling of anger the same each time? What made you angry each time? Was the way you dealt with your anger the same each time? I am guessing that the answer is probably no.

Depending on how you were raised and how other people like parents, teachers, friends, siblings, partners, spouses etc. responded and encouraged or discouraged you, you may or may not feel more at ease with some of your emotions than others. If emotions are mismanaged, this can lead to suppressed or repressed feelings and erratic behaviour. It is impossible to not feel your emotions. How you behave when feeling these emotions and the response this evoked from others will leave a lasting impression.

An important element here is that most behaviour is learned and influenced by the current social and cultural norms. It is founded mostly in judgmental concepts of polarity like good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative. This is the cognitive conditioning that most people use to make their choices. But what about what you are feeling about your emotions? What do you feel about anger and forgiveness for instance?

Immediately one can be struck by the desirability of one more than the other, is this not so? It’s okay to feel forgiveness and not okay to feel anger. This puts us in a position of feeling that we have to choose the more favourable option, in spite of our feelings, which are also valid. One thing is certain though and shown scientifically, everything is energy and energy cannot be destroyed. So how is it possible to turn one emotion, like anger, into another emotion, like forgiveness. The answer is quite simply, you cannot! You can, however, transmute the energy of an emotion, which allows the feeling to dissipate in a healthy and conscious way.

Everything in the Universe emits a specific energy frequency. Anger and forgiveness each exist on two specific and different frequencies and on two different spectrums. To move efficiently and effectively between these different levels requires identifying or establishing a common denominator. Do you know what that is?

You!

You are always the common aspect in your life with the ability to align as you choose and process your thoughts and emotions. This requires being present in each emotion and developing your awareness of what the meaning is for you. Your emotions are your personal GPS system. Don’t let them lead you astray and allow them to control you!


Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Healer and Mentor, Best-Selling Author and Speaker who assists her clients to alleviate anxiety, relieve physio-emotional pain and reduce stress levels in their lives, relationships, finances, health, mindset and soul energetics and increase inner harmony and outer balance.

To explore your options for a shift in awareness and to experience breakthrough, book in with Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice. 

Don’t overlook this when it comes to intimacy

Don’t overlook this when it comes to intimacy

intimacy, sex, relationship, self-love, happiness
Ever noticed that the word intimacy begins with the letter “I”? Many assume that intimacy is all about sex. It’s not! Intimacy, is considered usually as something we only can have with another person, in the form of relationship.  In this instance, I want to suggest a different perspective.

What if we think of intimacy as a state of being and experience that we have primarily with ourselves first and foremost? Learning to know ourselves is crucial if we are to enjoy a level of authentic and satisfying intimacy across our adult lives. Amazingly, many of us overlook this one factor when it comes to intimacy.

True intimacy, extends beyond the relationships we will have with another person. Instead, it is a deeply personal connection to ourselves. Without it, we are left feeling that something is missing within us and an emptiness that we instinctively try to fill. The more we look outside of ourselves to fill it – through success, relationships, love, money, work, drugs, media, food, purpose etc. – the stronger and wider the chasm inside us grows.

Being completely intimate with ourselves first is such an empowering individual process! Yet so few of us are aware of this and we don’t know how or where to begin. For genuine self-intimacy to emerge, we must be vulnerable to the process itself – the good, the bad and ugly, the hidden, the sensual, the still unfolding bits and the deeply afraid of being hurt bits.

To initiate this level of gratifying intimacy, let’s use the premises that ‘everything is within’, ‘start where we are’ and ‘the answers are right under our nose’.  There is one place where all three of these premises converge – our body! During a life span, we spend every day of our lives in our body. Yet how well do we know our bodies and what kind of intimate relationship do we consciously enjoy in and with them?

For centuries, we have been conditioned by culture and religion. Those holding the control withheld the secret – of the enormous potential, strength and capacity that comes from our sacred body connection and its empowering nature. By propagating the belief that the flesh was sinful and would betray us, they drove a wedge between ourselves and our bodies – our dearest ally – effectively severing the cords to personal intimacy. Sadly, this myth continues even today and is most prevalent in issues of body-image, lack of self-esteem, a sense of overwhelm and a deep loneliness that many of us still experience.

In my recent book, ‘FEARLESSLY ALONE‘, I addressed several of the factors that contribute to people feeling lonely, isolated and lost. Feelings of loneliness are a key indicator of a lack of intimacy with our Self – the most important authority in our life. When we feel lonely, we are often experiencing a feeling of disconnection from our source of personal power and creativity. The book reveals how when prolonged and unresolved, this results in stress, anxiety, depression, loss of self-worth, ill-health and even suicide.

Whatever we do in life, we do together with our bodies and everything experienced – both consciously and subconsciously – is perceived via this physical miraculous mechanical organism. The body literally hears and captures everything that we ever see, feel, and think. It allows us to have all kinds of sensory and sensual experiences – pleasurable and/or painful. The body ‘communicates’ with us through our senses – physical, emotional and intuitive – and translates these into feelings that we can perceive and understand. For example, when meeting a person for the first time, there is an instant initial impression – like this person is trustworthy, friendly, genuine, happy, unhappy, lying, an authority, confident, etc. This hunch often turns out to be correct.

The more consciously intimate the relationship with our body is, the better equipped we are to navigate life and make informed decisions confidently. Learning to listen to these sources of information can enrich our lives even more than most of us can perhaps even imagine. Cultivating awareness of and within the body will allow for more intimacy that is genuine, trustworthy and ideally suited for any unique lifestyle. It’s possible to reap immeasurable rewards, like attracting favourable people, situations and opportunities into our life, whereas prior to this, we may have struggled and suffered and chosen unwisely.

When we consciously harness this natural and profound connection with our body and nurture it, we are experiencing intimacy. We have come Home. And when stepping out from this space to embrace our lives, it is done from a place of empowered authority and enriched connection. Thanks to our bodies. Don’t overlook this when it comes to intimacy!


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

 

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Ouch, That Hurt!

Ouch, That Hurt!

Ouch Blog Post HeaderHave you ever noticed how you are just cruising along and ticking off those things on your to-do-list – whether for your business or your personal affairs – and you are feeling really good and in cruise mode – when suddenly, it’s like a trap door opens up beneath your feet and you fall into the black abyss? Yet again! Almost as if you had made no progress at all. I know, right! It can be extremely frustrating and disheartening to say the least, even when you can say it happens less often. This is what happened to me recently. Let me explain!

There I was, toodling along in creative mode, feeling really excited and filled with a  wonderful sense of accomplishment. I had completed writing for two new projects – my new book ‘Fearlessly Alone’ and a collaborative project. Phew! (Which is the reason I hadn’t written any blogs in a while and I had wanted to stay totally focused on getting these done.) Now, I found myself suddenly with heaps of more time on my hands, as you do when you complete a big project and are working to a deadline. There was a lot of empty space – to enjoy and for new stuff to come in. And it did! Some really great and easy new stuff and some not so new stuff, obviously still hidden in the dark recesses of my subconscious and that needed to be looked at in a new way. And yes, ouch that hurt!

What really intrigues me when it comes to Awareness, is that being ‘aware’ enables me to access pools of information all of the time. This is a relief to the perfectionist in me, because it means I don’t have to learn everything – all I have do is tune in to my Awareness and allow that specific information to show up. Of course this attitude means I have to give up the need to control every single little aspect of everything. All of which is fueled by a fear of failure. Now, I am not going to lie and say that this always runs smoothly. Cause just like those little emoticons that pop up on your screen, when strong emotions are at play, it can make for a rocky day. So it helps me to have a strategy for firstly coping and then resolving. Sounds good, doesn’t it! And so how can this hurt, you may be wondering?

A while ago, I signed-up for breakthrough session with a coach whose work I have participated in and whose expertise I respect and admire. So I was looking forward to the 30 minutes conversation and hoping for some more clarity around a specific issue. You know, one of those areas in my life where I still felt like I ‘had to work on myself’. It was not five minutes into the call and conversation, when my mood took a sharp nose-dive and it felt like I was floundering. By the end of the call, I hung up feeling  really down in the dumps and filled with doubt. What had happened?! Where had my sense of inner calm and accomplishment vanished to? Allow me to share.

Just like many people, I have my ‘down’ moments and experience feelings of doubt, fear, anger at times – it is part of the human experience. Thank goodness though, that I have the strategy that I mentioned earlier above, because here Life had presented me with an opportunity to apply it – take it for another test run. In other words, a curve ball. I was faced with an opportunity to grow. I knew there was something positive and insightful to take away from this situation and that would reveal to me, my inner workings and how they were derailing me and looking for fine-tuning. Whereas previously, these kinds of moments would last for days, if not weeks or months and become situations, nowadays I am happy to say that whilst they hurt in the moment, they no longer lasted very long anymore. The highs and the lows are becoming more harmonious!

Now, if you don’t yet know me or my story, then I want to share that ‘walking my talk’ is an essential and practical part of how I choose to experience Being Me. It is also an important part of the ‘know how’ that I teach, about how to move away from overwhelm and stress and move into a place of being able to make choices calmly and confidently in daily life. Fortunately, I had recorded the conversation, so I could go back and listen.  I was curious as to what had triggered this downward emotional spike and so I listened to the replay. And I got real clear on the reason that it felt Ouch, That Hurt!

What was evident to me when listening back over the conversation, was how, after the first few minutes, the way I spoke about myself and my situation came from a place of victim mentality and focus. It was a real eye opener for me, to listen to the way in which I spoke about my situation during this call and what I had focused on. Furthermore, I had doubted myself and where I was at on my timeline. I had allowed myself to become distracted! No wonder my feelings had plummeted! And thank goodness they had. My inner alert system is working well. I had to listen to the replay for a third time – this time with conscious detachment – before I felt my inner calm and energy once again. It no longer hurt!

What did I take away from this experience?

  • This served as such a wonderful wake-up call for me and the realizations that there are still parts within myself that may feel afraid and full of doubts.
  • By choosing to love these parts of myself and to thank them for showing me that my journey of knowing myself unfolds more each day in remarkable ways, I was able to raise my vibration again to a place of feeling good.
  • This incident proved to be a powerful reminder to honour and follow my own Inner Authority, no matter what or who I was talking to.
  • Respecting and admiring another person does not mean disregarding what I know does or does not work for me.
  • I am the one who picks up the tab and so I figure that allows me to choose and enjoy the contrast of experiences that springs up and seems appropriate for me.
  • In the moment I was able to be grateful for and release the Ouch, that hurt and turn it into a Yay, I am on my way!
  • Every situation is an opportunity to take stock of where I am on my vibrational scale of inner balance, because what is within is reflected without.

I am so grateful for this experience that brought me greater understanding of myself!

Can you identify an area or situation  in your life where you felt down or heavy and then something wonderful emerged later on? Where you turned your Ouch that hurt, into a Yay! ? Choose to believe that not only does Life have your back – you do as well! Re-member that you are the vital part of your Equation.

In Light and Appreciation
Trilby


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

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Your Home Is Your Body

Your Home Is Your Body

Your Home Is Your BodyWhere do you live and under what conditions? Since the age of 17 I have moved 25 times. I haven’t counted the times I moved prior to 17, but it was a lot. I don’t mind and I guess in some way this nurtured my love for travel. I have also had four major country moves in my life and I look forward to more. One thing I have learned from all this moving around though is that wherever I go, I take myself with me. Despite being in new surroundings after some time, the same old patterns would begin to emerge. Have you had this happen to you?

I am sharing this, because most people think of their home as the physical address where they live. There is a place that you live first and foremost though. Your body! Your first and permanent home, whilst you are alive, is your body. Whilst people take tremendous care of their physical houses and places of residence, most have very little knowledge of their true home – their body. This is the reason that so many give away their power to health professionals who supposedly know more about their home than they do. And this is partially true because we have been led away from our true homes. Everything is within and your access route is via your body.

So as your body is the place that you really live in and with for your whole life, what kind of a home do you want to experience and have? The conditions that you live in and under – with regards to your body – are extremely important as they will impact directly on the quality of your life’s experience. What if you had a home that is comfortable, that suits you, that supports you, where you can relax, where there is no judgement, where you can truly be you 24/7, where you can connect to health, abundance, love, joy and to your Self, etc.!

Through my 25 years as a Body Healer I have seen how disconnected so many are from their bodies. As long as you are disconnected and not fully present in and with your body, you will not experience being home. Most people are not even aware that they are in a space of disconnect because our brains have be wired to overlook this information, particularly in this very mental focused world. The mental will always keep you in the mental. Whereas your body will bring you information from your body-mind-soul. This is the reason that becoming aware of whether, where and how we are connected is, I feel, imperative to us finally experiencing the lives we say we desire. This is the Vision I hold because it has been my life’s experience.

For many years I looked outside of myself for a sense of being home and it was only when I started to love and honour my body exactly as it was that my sense of confidence, love and joy expanded. It was then that I began to get an inkling of the immense wisdom that was hidden and that came through my physical sensations, hunches and feelings. Our bodies capture the language of the Universe – Energy – and are constantly communicating it to us. Up until now, many of us however have ignored these signals because we have been given misguided information, if any at all. To truly experience living orgasmically – that sense of total and unlimited and beyond time sensual connection to all that is – we have to overcome first the fear – yes fear – of our bodies and then we have to learn to open up to the language of our body-mind-soul connection, which is all channeled via our physical body and aura.

Before we can love our body, we have to establish a connection and if there is a connection already, be willing to explore it further. True intimacy begins within each of us and it is only through a sense of self-trust that a reliable and confident connection comes about. As well as through trial and error. So don’t beat yourself up over it. When you learned to walk, you did it one step at a time. Also a healthy connection will flourish and become better integrated in a kind and loving environment. And it starts with you choosing these vibrations and then allowing whatever that is not or is to show up and be experienced so that it can be set free. Energy simply wants to move and it is our personalities that lock energy into our bodies through our choices of thoughts, feelings and emotions. I feel that we are now at a time in our evolution where shifting through and out of this is possible. The place to start, is at home. That means you and your body – the connection to your reality.

In Light and Appreciation
Trilby

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Trilby Johnson is a Transformational Author and Intuitive Energy Alchemist, who mentors individuals to love their body and explore it’s hidden wisdom so that their life can change and they make informed new life choices. If you are looking for support on this journey, please contact Trilby at http://breakthroughsavvy.com – many of her clients have experienced miraculous healing and a deep feeling of connection and balance. So can you.

Trilby’s book ‘A-Ha Moments – Inspirational Quotes to Shift Your Thinking‘ is an authentic treatise to live life on your own terms.

©Trilby Johnson 2016. If you do share any part of this article, please quote the author and reference the original blog here
http://breakthroughsavvy.com/blogconnectiveharmony/
Thank you.

We are Pioneers Navigating Uncharted Waters

We are Pioneers Navigating Uncharted Waters

butterflytransitionHave you felt like you were losing your mind over the last several weeks? This period leading up to the blue moon transition in July 2015 has proven to be a very challenging time in a very unique and particular way for so many of us. Listening and seeing all that is going on around, things certainly appear to be chaotic to say the least. The last several weeks I have personally found very challenging and these new energies are certainly keeping me guessing.

Living in New Zealand, on the South Island, I am reminded of our forefathers from all over the world. Those first brave voyagers who set out without really knowing what they would find, yet driven by a fire in their heart that simply would not be quietened. After months at sea, which was perilous enough, they would arrive in a new and different place, to face unknown territory, fauna and flora and native inhabitants. Often driving the windy road through thick undergrowth and steep mountains, I am struck by how modern roadways are taken for granted. Without these constructed and maintained pathways, traveling even a small distance would be a very different experience.

Yet, there is definitely a Spirit of Pioneer in the air. Situations just seem even more topsy-turvy than usual and whilst I consider myself well equipped to steer these currents, I have been thrown quite some unexpected and totally unfamiliar and highly uncomfortable curve balls of late. It seems the frequencies have ultra-increased and there have been moments when I have felt literally as if I have been losing my mind. As someone who enjoys my solitude, even this was discomforting to say the least. What the heck?

The Observer, observes all of this happening and yes, the mind is becoming lost. The dominant mental energy is now becoming more aligned in compliment to the heart energy and this is creating quite a bit of movement and disruption as the process plays itself out. So yes the mind is being loosened and being lost and like those early pioneers, many of us are going where no human has consciously gone before, at least not at the accelerated speed at which it is being done now. And so yes, feeling overloaded is the correct term for what is happening. And No, it doesn’t feel very comfortable at all.

It is very important to stay focused on your bigger picture. Stay positive, even through the negative moments. Find the right people to support you. This is an existential experience and the mind is shrieking in resistance as it knows its days of total power are numbered. If your family and friends are unable to support you, ensure that you are getting quality solo-time if and when required. As the mental takes a back seat, it is important to honour the unfolding of the new, even though the means of understanding it are now totally changed. Tap into your Pioneer Spirit and whilst things may be serious, there is definitely Light on the horizon. Remember that to get to your destination and to handle those detours, keep focused on what it is you want and ensure that you are connecting to the resources within that fuel your Pioneer Spirit. (There was one tool and action I did use over these last few weeks to keep me in the sane as much as possible. Check out my p.s.s. at the end of this article, to find out more and get this tool for yourself!)

When speaking with my healing partner earlier this week, I was reminded that a leader does not have followers. That is not the purpose of a leader in this new energy world. A leader is to set a path and go ahead so that others may follow if they choose. The pioneers of old knew that they were going ahead of everyone. They cleared the way in a manner of speaking. I feel we are being asked to lead the way with our Pioneer Spirit and in turn allow that Pioneer Spirit to lead us to unfamiliar greener pastures. It is time to leave the Known for the Unknown and Trust that all is well in all of Creation.

Like a beautiful butterfly, a complete overhaul is taking place. The caterpillar must transform into another life-form to experience what it is like to fly. I am a transition in transition. These are exciting times to be alive.
Be Bold. Be Courageous. Be Love. Be Safe. Be Your SELF.

In Light.
Trilby

p.s. I have created a closed facebook group called The Connective – set up to discuss how to marry the metaphysical aspects into every day life in a way that is practical and effective. Come and join here – https://www.facebook.com/groups/theconnectivegroup/

p.s.s. One of the methods that has helped me get through this losing my mind phase and helped me cope with this transition, is breathing. Opt-in here to find out how to make it possible to Detox, Destress and Relax in under 10 seconds

p.s.s.s If you feel like you have hit a wall, keep butting your head up against the ceiling and have frankly just given up hope when it comes to life, money, health or love, then I can help you. I’ve been there and got myself out of that dark hole of self-hatred and feeling a total failure and unlovable.  Apply today for your complimentary 30 minute LET’S TALK session. Your life really is worth talking about, don’t you think?


Trilby D. Johnson is an TRANSFORMATIONAL Author and BODY-BRAIN REFORMER WHOSE message of self-actualization, embodiment and self-love invites people from around the world to embrace their Sovereign Authenticity as they release chronic SYMPTOMS around money, health and love. She provides tools and skills for people to live a life free of pain, suffering, sadness and self-limiting beliefs and makes living A SPIRITUAL LIFE practical AND SUCCESSFUL.
Find out more about CONNECTING THE DOTS TO WHO YOU TRULY ARE – http://breakthroughsavvy.com

©Trilby D. Johnson 2015. If you do share any part of this article, please quote the author and reference this blog at http://www.connectiveharmony.com – Thank you.
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