7 Healthier Ways To Manage Anger

7 Healthier Ways To Manage Anger

It’s possible to learn how to manage anger by understanding the energy dynamic of this emotion better and changing perspective so that there is a shift in consciousness.

Anger is usually considered an unsavoury and destructive type of emotion. In other words, unsavoury is a belief that only fuels its often volatile nature. When out of control, angry feelings can escalate into violence and destruction and so frightens us. Yet, anger is an emotion like any other. It is when this emotion is misdirected or impeded that it can build up into something explosive and be expressed in destructive ways.

Many people are uncomfortable and frightened by anger, in a large part due to how we are socialized. Today there are many anger management courses available, which can help teach people how to manage this emotion. When we attempt to stop an emotion for long enough, by suppressing or repressing it, it is like trying to stop a volcano from erupting – eventually, it will blow up.

  1. Anger is primal

As we saw when looking at what an emotion is, anger is considered one of the base emotions. So when we feel threatened or afraid, anger can often be an instinctive reaction in an attempt to safeguard ourselves. This is often what happens when someone ‘snaps’ or ‘lashes out’. So it’s important to address our personal issues so that there are no pent up emotions.

  1. Anger is a secondary emotion

A secondary emotion occurs in response to something else happening first. Even those that apparently ‘fly off the handle’, there is something causing the anger. Now, this doesn’t mean it’s okay to go ballistic, be aggressive or hurt someone. To get a handle on angry feelings, however, does require self-interrogation and perhaps some time to cool down, if necessary. The particularity about anger is that underneath this secondary feeling, is your personal power and ability to be discerning. When you are in touch with these aspects, it makes you calmer and self-assured, less liable to allow yourself to be manipulated by others.

  1. Anger can motivate you

Generally, anger arises when one of our personal values, self-worth or safety is challenged, jeopardized or disrespected. Can you remember a time when someone said something untrue about you? Did you feel angry? That angry feeling is a response to an untruth – a misalignment in the energy – and your barometer to let you know that you are not okay with what is going on. Anger can often empower you to say ‘NO’ and motivate you to take a stand and not let yourself be a doormat. When you are able to manage your anger appropriately, you have the ability to assert your rights in a way that leaves no room for doubt as to your sincerity.

  1. Anger is not a sin

Often spiritual people can feel it’s wrong to be angry. As if one excludes the other. Whatever it is you want to call it doesn’t matter. The point is to be whole and fulfilled, you are going to have to accept and allow all of yourself to be. And that means being alright with the whole spectrum of emotions. None are more important than another if you look at them as messages. Every emotion is telling you something about yourself so that you can get to know yourself better.

  1. Anger is contagious

Is the anger yours? Have you asked the question? Until you ask the question you will not know. Often we are walking around with unconscious patterns playing out. Research has shown that it is possible for us to pick up on other people’s energy and vice versa. If you know you are highly sensitive, an empath, or psychic, then asking this will save you energy and unnecessary stress. Give it a go and see if you notice a difference.

  1. Transmute the anger

When you are in the grips of primal anger, the quickest way I have found to flick the switch so that you can stay discerning and express yourself appropriately is by focusing on your breathing. Stopping to take a few conscious breaths slows down the parasympathetic nervous system and so your brain stops sending fight or flight signals. I invite you to Destress, Detox, and Relax by getting your free download of my audio tool on conscious breathing.

As a species, humans have been given the ability to experience diverse emotions. Anger can be used as a powerful tool of discernment and also the potency to see things through. As with all emotions, it’s not only what we do when feeling them, it’s especially how we do it! When we take charge of managing and expressing our anger constructively, we will begin to find ourselves in a place where we can consider adding a dose of forgiveness.

It takes a conscious choice to shift from being angry to forgiving in an empowering way.


Trilby Johnson, is a Breakthrough Healer and Mentor, Best-Selling Author and Speaker who empowers her clients to breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom and resolve physio-emotional pain and reduce stress levels in their lives, relationships, finances, health, mindset and soul energetics.

©Trilby Johnson 2021. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog. Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice. 

Understanding Your Emotional Makeup

Understanding Your Emotional Makeup


If knowledge is power, then having a sound understanding of your emotional makeup can help to manage emotions more successfully and effectively. To make this happen, requires having the right strategies that provide specific results. 

As Tom Waits said, “How you do anything, is how you do everything.” And yes, this applies to our emotions too. Often, a part of the solution is understanding what it is you are working with – at lease short term. It may seem obvious but in my book, asking ‘what is an emotion?’ is a great place to start.

Although there are several theories regarding emotions, the consensus amongst psychologists is that there are six basic human emotions.

These are:

  • Fear
  • Anger
  • Surprise
  • Happiness
  • Sadness
  • Disgust

Further research by psychologist Paul Eckman showed that these emotions are innate, universal, and usually expressed through facial expressions. As children grow up these emotions will become influenced through socialization and education. The kind of emotional associations made during these informative years will have a large impact on the way anger and forgiveness are processed and managed later on in life.

On the surface, emotions may seem a given and therefore straightforward. Yet a study conducted in 2007 by Hockenbury showed that there is more to each emotion than initially thought. An emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components:

  1. A subjective experience
  2. A physiological response
  3. A behavioural or expressive response.

This psychological observation is important when wanting to change an emotion and create a new emotional response and association. Each of these components needs to be addressed effectively, separately. Missing any of these steps leads to emotional incongruency and could explain why people often feel at the mercy of their emotions and struggle to detach.

Humans are extremely complex in their emotional makeup because there are layers and triggers of all kinds involved. From very young, we are indoctrinated about what each emotion means, and we are told when and how it is or isn’t appropriate to feel that way. The lines are drawn and we are expected to operate within them.

Although there are these common agreements, the subjective component is always at play. Each emotion is experienced individually in a myriad of ways and intensities. Think of a few different times when you felt angry. Was your feeling of anger the same each time? What made you angry each time? Was the way you dealt with your anger the same each time? I am guessing that the answer is probably no.

Depending on how you were raised and how other people like parents, teachers, friends, siblings, partners, spouses etc. responded and encouraged or discouraged you, you may or may not feel more at ease with some of your emotions than others. If emotions are mismanaged, this can lead to suppressed or repressed feelings and erratic behaviour. It is impossible to not feel your emotions. How you behave when feeling these emotions and the response this evoked from others will leave a lasting impression.

An important element here is that most behaviour is learned and influenced by the current social and cultural norms. It is founded mostly in judgmental concepts of polarity like good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative. This is the cognitive conditioning that most people use to make their choices. But what about what you are feeling about your emotions? What do you feel about anger and forgiveness for instance?

Immediately one can be struck by the desirability of one more than the other, is this not so? It’s okay to feel forgiveness and not okay to feel anger. This puts us in a position of feeling that we have to choose the more favourable option, in spite of our feelings, which are also valid. One thing is certain though and shown scientifically, everything is energy and energy cannot be destroyed. So how is it possible to turn one emotion, like anger, into another emotion, like forgiveness. The answer is quite simply, you cannot! You can, however, transmute the energy of an emotion, which allows the feeling to dissipate in a healthy and conscious way.

Everything in the Universe emits a specific energy frequency. Anger and forgiveness each exist on two specific and different frequencies and on two different spectrums. To move efficiently and effectively between these different levels requires identifying or establishing a common denominator. Do you know what that is?

You!

You are always the common aspect in your life with the ability to align as you choose and process your thoughts and emotions. This requires being present in each emotion and developing your awareness of what the meaning is for you. Your emotions are your personal GPS system. Don’t let them lead you astray and allow them to control you!


Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Healer and Mentor, Best-Selling Author and Speaker who assists her clients to alleviate anxiety, relieve physio-emotional pain and reduce stress levels in their lives, relationships, finances, health, mindset and soul energetics and increase inner harmony and outer balance.

To explore your options for a shift in awareness and to experience breakthrough, book in with Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.