How Complaining Steals Your Happiness

How Complaining Steals Your Happiness

No one likes to think of themselves as a complainer, right? I know I didn’t think of myself in this way and yet…

I noticed a few months back that I was feeling very grumpy and I was complaining more than usual. This in itself was fine, up to a point and initially felt good! And then I realized I was sliding into a repetitive rut and that complaining was stealing my enjoyment and ease in life.

 

How did I become aware of this? Well, my mood mostly, and then I started to tune in to my inner self-talk. Always the best way to gauge where I really am. Negative and defeatest self-talk never leads to success if left unadressed and it feels lousy, to say the least. So I addressed it! Firmly and lovingly – with awareness and humour… and shifted to ways to feel grateful instead. Almost immediately, my mood and self-talk became kinder and felt much better.


To be honest, even optimistic and strong people can be vulnerable to complaining. As humans, our emotional make-up is extremely complex and layered. It’s not about getting it all right and never complaining and more about being aware and knowing thyself well. From my experience, there are always signals that begin to show up as indicators of the direction I’m travelling. This is what Carl Jung, the Swiss Psychiatrist coined as ‘shadow work’ required to make the unconscious conscious.

 

The instances that helped me realize what was actually going on, was when I seemed to come across lots of posts on social media, people complaining! What the heck?! Yup, this is how it can show up and if I wasn’t aware and clear on where I want my emotional and mental compass to be, then I could get sucked in.

 

I can clearly remember my sense of affrontment when many years ago my therapist made me aware of the part of me that was the complainer. What, me a complainer!! No WAY…  Yes, indeed WAY! When I was able to see and acknowledge that a part of me felt comfortable complaining, I was able to make an empowered and conscious choice about this behaviour and pattern. I’m always grateful for clarity about myself!

 

Now, complaining is quite a common although disavowed habit, that can negatively impact our emotional well-being, relationships, and even physical health. As a complainer, we don’t always realize that what we are doing is ‘complaining’ and the impact this is having, until we become aware or have someone else point it out to us. This is NOT about judging yourself or others… it’s about awareness, perception and empowerment.

Complaining can also be a psychological defensive mechanism that occurs when we feel powerless to change something and creates a feeling of ambivalence. Beneath this mindset and behavioural pattern lies a wealth of wisdom about yourself, if your willing to dig and be honest with yourself.

 

To help make the unconscious more conscious, here are some ways that complaining can have a limiting impact longer-term:

 

1. Mental Health:

Complaining can lead to lowered mood and symptoms of anxiety, depression, and a negative outlook on life. This makes it harder to cope with stress and life’s challenges.

 

2. Personal Growth:

Continual complaining can hinder personal growth, causing feelings of irritability, frustration, and misplaced anger. This can show up as physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach pains, and a loss of appetite – ways that our body is letting us know that something needs to be addressed, not medicated, as is often the case. Don’t avoid seeking medical attention however to bring peace of mind.

 

3. Personal Relationships:

Most people don’t like hanging out with someone who is constantly complaining. Complaining behaviour can result in isolation and frustration in others, leading to feelings of loneliness and social isolation.

 

4. Lack Mentality:

Complaining robs people of enjoyment and is a sign of a sense of lack mentality.  There’s often a belief of unworthiness that can lead to financial worries and psychological distress.

 

5. Negative Behaviors and Habits:

Complaining can reinforce negative thinking patterns further and prevent individuals from taking action to address their concerns. No one likes to think of themselves as a complainer and this shuts us off from our awareness to when we do complain, making change seem impossible.

 

I’ve mentioned above how I shifted my mood and want to include some alternatives that can help break free from the cycle of complaining:

 

1. Gratitude Attitude:

Shift your focus from negative to positive aspects of life by practicing gratitude. Find anything that you can feel grateful for… and there’s always  at least one thing, in the Present moment! (Read my blog 4 Breakthrough Steps to Gratitude for deeper insights)

 

2. Healthy Expression:

All emotions are messengers and we honour them, yes even the ‘bad’ one when we acknowledge them. We learn to manage our emotions by venting  negative emotions and honouring how we truly feel. Talking about how you feel in a safe and present way is healthy and not complaining.

 

3. Understand that there is a Cost:

Be willing to recognize the link between complaining and the negative impact on mental, emotional, and physical health. If you need a mentor to help you see the bigger picture, take action. I certainly wouldn’t have the abilities I do today on my own, without the mentoring I received.

 

4. Focus on What You Can Control:

Stop complaining about things you can’t change and take action to address concerns within your control. Complaining steals your power, that’s all!

 

5. Set Your Intention:

Challenge yourself to go without complaining for a set period of time. Start small, e.g. one hour at a time. Initially, simply begin to notice where you complain and how you feel in the moment.

 

If you notice yourself complaining, stop and breathe. No judgement. Take back your power by identifying the triggers that lead to complaining and reflect on your emotions, identify the source, notice patterns, ask for feedback, and be present to your words, thoughs, behaviours. By understanding the impact of complaining and taking conscious action to break the habit, you can improve your emotional well-being and overall quality of life.

Will you stop complaining 100%. Maybe… However, if and when you do find yourself complaining – cause you’re Human right – then you will have the knowledge and skills to manage this behaviour efficiently, in a way that empowers you and sets you free from feeling like a victim.

 

Don’t let complaining steal your happiness!

 

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Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Metaphysical Intuitive Mentor offering realistic, practical principles to assist highly-sensitive, intuitive and conscious individuals to heal, thrive and live their desired BIG lives.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment if you are ready for breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

Your Home Is Your Body

Your Home Is Your Body

Your Home Is Your BodyWhere do you live and under what conditions? Since the age of 17 I have moved 25 times. I haven’t counted the times I moved prior to 17, but it was a lot. I don’t mind and I guess in some way this nurtured my love for travel. I have also had four major country moves in my life and I look forward to more. One thing I have learned from all this moving around though is that wherever I go, I take myself with me. Despite being in new surroundings after some time, the same old patterns would begin to emerge. Have you had this happen to you?

I am sharing this, because most people think of their home as the physical address where they live. There is a place that you live first and foremost though. Your body! Your first and permanent home, whilst you are alive, is your body. Whilst people take tremendous care of their physical houses and places of residence, most have very little knowledge of their true home – their body. This is the reason that so many give away their power to health professionals who supposedly know more about their home than they do. And this is partially true because we have been led away from our true homes. Everything is within and your access route is via your body.

 

So as your body is the place that you really live in and with for your whole life, what kind of a home do you want to experience and have? The conditions that you live in and under – with regards to your body – are extremely important as they will impact directly on the quality of your life’s experience. What if you had a home that is comfortable, that suits you, that supports you, where you can relax, where there is no judgement, where you can truly be you 24/7, where you can connect to health, abundance, love, joy and to your Self, etc.!

 

Over my 30 years as a Metaphysical Intuitive and Healer, I’ve seen how disconnected so many are from their bodies. As long as you are disconnected and not fully present in and with your body, you will not experience being home. Most people are not even aware that they are in a space of disconnect because our brains have be wired to overlook this information, particularly in this very mental focused world. The mental will always keep you in the mental. Whereas your body will bring you information from your body-mind-soul. This is the reason that becoming aware of whether, where and how we are connected is, I feel, imperative to us finally experiencing the lives we say we desire. This is the Vision I hold because it has been my life’s experience.

 

For many years I looked outside of myself for a sense of being home and it was only when I started to love and honour my body exactly as it was that my sense of confidence, love and joy expanded. It was then that I began to get an inkling of the immense wisdom that was hidden and that came through my physical sensations, hunches and feelings. Our bodies capture the language of the Universe – Energy – and are constantly communicating it to us.

 

Up until now, many of us however have ignored these signals because we have been given misguided information, if any at all. To truly experience living orgasmically – that sense of total and unlimited and beyond time sensual connection to all that is – we have to overcome first the fear – yes fear – of our bodies and then we have to learn to open up to the language of our body-mind-soul connection, which is all channeled via our physical body and aura.

 

Before we can love our body, we have to establish a connection and if there is a connection already, be willing to explore it further. True intimacy begins within each of us and it is only through a sense of self-trust that a reliable and confident connection comes about. As well as through trial and error. So don’t beat yourself up over it. When you learned to walk, you did it one step at a time.

 

Also a healthy connection will flourish and become better integrated in a kind and loving environment. And it starts with you choosing these vibrations and then allowing whatever that is not or is to show up and be experienced so that it can be set free. Energy simply wants to move and it is our personalities that lock energy into our bodies through our choices of thoughts, feelings and emotions.

 

I feel now more than ever, we’re now at a time in evolution where shifting through and out of this is possible. The place to start, is at home. That means you and your body – the connection to your reality.

In Light and Appreciation
Trilby

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Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Metaphysical Intuitive Mentor offering realistic, practical principles to assist highly-sensitive, intuitive and conscious individuals to heal, thrive and live their desired BIG lives.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment if you are ready for breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

Falling to peaces

Falling to peaces

 

 It’s been said many times that the only constant in Life is change. Yet people cling to the same old same so desperately in a vain attempt to slow things down, or to stop this  inevitable unfolding.

 

I use the term “change” here in the sense of growth and expansion and as a natural movement of Life and Living. Not in the sense that something is wrong and needs fixing.

 

When one truly embraces change as a daily constant, there is a fluidity and transparency that begins to appear, at first in bursts and spurts, and then increases in amplitude. However, before this may show up, everything one seems familiar with or takes at face value can begin to crumble. Everything that one may have held as steadfast and that is false and related to one’s sense of identity is challenged and requires letting go of.

 

Paradoxically, as these layers of acquired identity begin to unravel, one may find one’s self experiencing a sense of profound confusion, disorientation, loss, sadness, grief, interspersed with moments of intense ecstacy. This turbulent period can seem endless and has often been referred to as the ‘dark night of the Soul’, whereas what if it is more of a death of the Ego?

This is the moment when the Soul begins to shake off the shackles of lifetime’s of conditioning, persecution and torture. And the Ego stamps and screams, imploring one to get things back together because everything is “falling apart or to pieces (peaces)”. This is the lie that the Ego-Self uses to get us to cling so desperately at straws. Needless to say, it is very dramatic and seems very real and urgent.

 

Yet the more time passes and the facade falls away, a strange thing begins to happen. Perhaps fleetingly at first, one begins to feel bored by all the drama and trauma. For many this will result in extra bursts of activity as the attempt is made to fill the void. Until one just ends up feeling more exhausted and facing a yawning and seemingly empty pit. Some resist falling into oblivion by creating dis-ease, depression, bankruptcy, addictions, relationship or money issues. This only perpetuates the drama a while longer, but the Soul is unrelenting in it’s purpose. And what may seem as if one’s life is falling apart, is actually a “fall-in2 peaces”!

 

Warning – there is no drama or trauma to peace.

 

There is nothing to push against or fight for. At first it may seem boring, as all the usual external stimuli no longer have their previous pull of attraction. What was previously thought to be the void, is a growing sense of detachment that has been establishing itself firmly in the seat of Consciousness. Having fallen into peace can seem strangely unsettling and uncomfortable at first, which may be unexpected in association with peace. The state of being in and at Peace is a new experience for so many of us. The common notion of peace has very little to do with this majestic experience of peaceful Be-ing.

 

The actual experience of peace is beyond the awareness of the masses at the moment, until we all fall-in2 peaces.

In Light
Trilby

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Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Metaphysical Intuitive Mentor offering realistic, practical principles to assist highly-sensitive, intuitive and conscious individuals to heal, thrive and live their desired BIG lives.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment if you are ready for breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

Authentic Relating – the most important relationship you will ever have

Authentic Relating – the most important relationship you will ever have

Do you know how to relate authentically? No secrets here …………. it begins with YOU. The kind of relationship you have with yourself, will impact on other areas of your life. On your health, wealth, relationships, work and spirituality. For truly everything is within before it shows up without.

To create true and lasting change in one’s life and the world, the change starts with oneself. And I mean change as in stepping into or towards total, complete, all-encompassing, unconditional allowance and gratefulness for who we are, in all our complex, confusing, magnificence ….. NOW!

Awareness to what is going on, is the first step and then choosing. So what does this awareness look like and where can it be found? And once aware how can we create the change we desire ?

Whatever is going on in your life, your body, your relationships etc serves as a reflection and offers information as to what kind of vibrational frequency we are at. So, we can get information from these experiences. And from here choose consciously where we desire to travel next and what kind of an experience we are seeking to have.

Plus, there is a whole arena of vibrational frequencies that is just beyond our current level of perception. This is just how energy works. Like a radio station – you have to tune in to the exact frequency to catch the show and when you are in range you can tune in. All that static you can hear, is information that is on another frequency.

Sometimes it’s this static that draws us and that hold the new information we require to take the next step. However, how can we tune in to receive it. As Neale Donald Walsch wrote, “Your real life begins, beyond your comfort zones.”

So what’s it going take to first of all recognise those comfort zones, then know how to choose which are working for you or not, and then choose to focus on what does work?

Often we know we have to choose something different – the signs are all around – however we do not know how to. Choosing a mentor or facilitator is a great choice. I have been fortunate in my life to have received counsel and mentoring from some amazing people and the greatest gift I received was that of objectivity.

A blind spot is a specific vibrational frequency and so having a third person who is inspiring, uplifting and most importantly non-judgemental to guide me to recognising them and how to clear their electromagnetic imprint has been worth the blood, sweat and the tears – leaving space and infinite possibilities. It has given me the ability to be the Observer more and more in my life.

When we are able to stand in a place as the Observer, we are able to see all, without judgement. Meditation teaches us this – for me this is the lesson in the practice of the law of detached consciousness. It gives us the space and tools with which we can see the wood for the trees and opens up an infinite choice of possibility.

My personal journey has been one of learning to love myself 100% – the good, the bad and the ugly. I have and continue to embrace my darker side and to enjoy expanding with it more into my lighter sides. My criteria for choice today are ease and joy. Is this something you would like for you too?

What if you are the one you have been waiting for? And what if the waiting is now over? It is You and the time is NOW!

By the Light of the God I AM
I release all procrastination and indecisiveness
I acknowledge the power to create, the courage to believe
And the willingness to receive the abundance of the universe
I embrace the awareness to actualise my purpose
I release my childhood contract where I felt I had to save myself from myself and others
Now, as an enlightened being, I know that I cannot be all things to all people.
My greatest joy is living my authentic self

(Author Unknown)

Trust this inspires you to know just how valuable you are. And please don’t allow the terminology used and that perhaps doesn’t resonate with you to be a distraction that keeps you once again from authentically relating with your true Essence.


Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Metaphysical Intuitive Mentor offering realistic, practical principles to assist highly-sensitive, intuitive and conscious individuals to heal, thrive and live their desired BIG lives.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment if you are ready for breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

The Art of Conscious Detachment

The Art of Conscious Detachment

Is this yet another new well-being technique? I prefer to see it as a different and fresh angle on an ancient philosophy for experiencing relaxation, health and spiritual enlightenment. The Art of Conscious Detachment in my definition is the ability to simple observe and participate in whatever is going on, neutrally, i.e. without judgement. Judgement is a mental function and will always create separation and attachment. The practice of this art is otherwise more commonly referred to as Meditation

Ask a large cross section of the general public about meditation and very few can give a clear explanation of what it is and how to do it, whilst many shy away from it and refer to it has some spiritual stuff. Over the last several decades, meditation is a New Age term that has become much bandied about, in the West at least. Yet few people actually understand or practise it. Countless informative and valuable books have been written on the subject of meditation, nevertheless today many people are still looking for quick, effective and practical solutions. The days of going into isolation for weeks or months on end to achieve or experience a deep meditative state, are over and beyond the scope of the majority. Although much can be discussed here, in this short article I briefly touch on a couple of underlying premises that will facilitate an easy and effective ability to experience the art of conscious detachment, as well as demystify the myth and hopefully make it inviting, stimulating and do-able to more people. So, let’s take a practical look at this metaphysical state!

Meditation, for many, has a spiritual connotation to it, which can put a lot of people off, as they feel they do not fit into this category. The good news is that the art of conscious detachment is not subjective to whether one is actively spiritual or not. Whilst the New Age movement has done much to promote meditation as a tool for those on a spiritual path, it is also very simply a way of life, as can be witnessed in Indian and Eastern cultures, where people grow up with this as a daily practise.

Now, many people who attempt meditating for the first time, may give up pretty soon because the art of detachment cannot be approached cognitively. Meditation is a paradox, in that it is a state that is achieved through the mind and yet it is not of the mind. It is indeed a cultivated art to reach a state of being in conscious detachment. The challenge come to those who meditate, whether a novice or a veteran, because the second one attempts to empty the mind, is exactly the moment that the monkey mind begins to chatter very loudly and incessantly. Sounds familiar? J Even with regular practise this can still occur, however, it does become easier to seduce the mental mind into releasing its vice-like grip, with practise and regularity, which facilitates the increased experience of conscious detachment.

One of the easiest, quickest and most effective ways to experience this cessation of mind chatter is through something that every human being on this planet does. BREATHING! It is something we all already do in order to stay alive in our physical bodies. Breathing is a built-in reflex, automatically controlled for the most part by the brain. However, it is also one of the few biological functions that we are able to control consciously, within limits.  When done with control or focus, a very particular shift occurs, not only in the body but across the board.

In Hatha Yoga, a primary principle is: Where awareness goes, energy glows and where energy flows, awareness goes. A way in which this can be experienced is that with focus on the breath, everything seems to slow down and yet expand simultaneously. Almost like when zooming out with a telescopic lens, one is afforded a view of a bigger picture. When we zoom out by focusing on the breath, the mental mind eases its grip on our awareness and more energy flows in. This creates a greater sense of detachment.

Another side-effect of controlled breathing is that it impacts on hormones which control body metabolism and functionality by carrying signals to and from the brain. For example, controlled breathing is effective for calming nerves or anxiety, as it sends a message to the brain that all is well and to lower adrenaline rush and heart rate.

The way a habit is formed and programmed in the brain is through repetition, which forms new synapses in the brain. Naturally the more you repeat something, the quicker and more automated it becomes. So, with regular repetitive practise neural pathways can be created and reinforced to support and stimulate the state of conscious detachment.  Now, this does not have to be a long laborious process or set in stone. So start small – remember to break down the elephant into smaller pieces, as this makes for easier handling.

Sitting down and expecting to know how to experience deep meditation the first time, is setting the bar a bit high and causes unnecessary pressure.  If you choose to begin with half a minute of conscious breathing every day, very shortly you will notice how much easier it happens on its own. At first don’t be too concerned with the when and how. Just do it when it pops up into your thoughts and you can also ask yourself to remember to prompt you. Sounds crazy perhaps, but it works. Why not try it?

So, no need to go and sit for hours on end in a dark silent room. Increase the length of time to find your own comfortable routine. A hint: if you feel as if you are no longer getting anything out of the time you spend, try changing the routine, environment and length of time. Just as everyday is different, so will be the quality and time of your meditation, which can be influenced by physical, emotional and environmental factors. Energy is in constant state of flux and as an Energy Being, so are you.

The regular practice of the art of conscious detachment contributes through controlled breathing leads to an increased sense of overall well-being. This is now more widely acknowledged, in particular by the medical world. Some benefits experienced can be: relaxation, improved energy levels, better circulation, restful sleep, reduced medicinal side-effects, more joy, ability to control anxiety, increased appetite, greater sense of peace/connectedness, etc

Now for what reason, would you not choose to have some of this?

Many Blissings.

Trilby

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Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.