Have you ever noticed how you are just cruising along and ticking off those things on your to-do-list – whether for your business or your personal affairs – and you are feeling really good and in cruise mode – when suddenly, it’s like a trap door opens up beneath your feet and you fall into the black abyss? Yet again! Almost as if you had made no progress at all. I know, right! It can be extremely frustrating and disheartening to say the least, even when you can say it happens less often. This is what happened to me recently. Let me explain!
There I was, toodling along in creative mode, feeling really excited and filled with a wonderful sense of accomplishment. I had completed writing for two new projects – my new book ‘Fearlessly Alone’ and a collaborative project. Phew! (Which is the reason I hadn’t written any blogs in a while and I had wanted to stay totally focused on getting these done.) Now, I found myself suddenly with heaps of more time on my hands, as you do when you complete a big project and are working to a deadline. There was a lot of empty space – to enjoy and for new stuff to come in. And it did! Some really great and easy new stuff and some not so new stuff, obviously still hidden in the dark recesses of my subconscious and that needed to be looked at in a new way. And yes, ouch that hurt!
What really intrigues me when it comes to Awareness, is that being ‘aware’ enables me to access pools of information all of the time. This is a relief to the perfectionist in me, because it means I don’t have to learn everything – all I have do is tune in to my Awareness and allow that specific information to show up. Of course this attitude means I have to give up the need to control every single little aspect of everything. All of which is fueled by a fear of failure. Now, I am not going to lie and say that this always runs smoothly. Cause just like those little emoticons that pop up on your screen, when strong emotions are at play, it can make for a rocky day. So it helps me to have a strategy for firstly coping and then resolving. Sounds good, doesn’t it! And so how can this hurt, you may be wondering?
A while ago, I signed-up for breakthrough session with a coach whose work I have participated in and whose expertise I respect and admire. So I was looking forward to the 30 minutes conversation and hoping for some more clarity around a specific issue. You know, one of those areas in my life where I still felt like I ‘had to work on myself’. It was not five minutes into the call and conversation, when my mood took a sharp nose-dive and it felt like I was floundering. By the end of the call, I hung up feeling really down in the dumps and filled with doubt. What had happened?! Where had my sense of inner calm and accomplishment vanished to? Allow me to share.
Just like many people, I have my ‘down’ moments and experience feelings of doubt, fear, anger at times – it is part of the human experience. Thank goodness though, that I have the strategy that I mentioned earlier above, because here Life had presented me with an opportunity to apply it – take it for another test run. In other words, a curve ball. I was faced with an opportunity to grow. I knew there was something positive and insightful to take away from this situation and that would reveal to me, my inner workings and how they were derailing me and looking for fine-tuning. Whereas previously, these kinds of moments would last for days, if not weeks or months and become situations, nowadays I am happy to say that whilst they hurt in the moment, they no longer lasted very long anymore. The highs and the lows are becoming more harmonious!
Now, if you don’t yet know me or my story, then I want to share that ‘walking my talk’ is an essential and practical part of how I choose to experience Being Me. It is also an important part of the ‘know how’ that I teach, about how to move away from overwhelm and stress and move into a place of being able to make choices calmly and confidently in daily life. Fortunately, I had recorded the conversation, so I could go back and listen. I was curious as to what had triggered this downward emotional spike and so I listened to the replay. And I got real clear on the reason that it felt Ouch, That Hurt!
What was evident to me when listening back over the conversation, was how, after the first few minutes, the way I spoke about myself and my situation came from a place of victim mentality and focus. It was a real eye opener for me, to listen to the way in which I spoke about my situation during this call and what I had focused on. Furthermore, I had doubted myself and where I was at on my timeline. I had allowed myself to become distracted! No wonder my feelings had plummeted! And thank goodness they had. My inner alert system is working well. I had to listen to the replay for a third time – this time with conscious detachment – before I felt my inner calm and energy once again. It no longer hurt!
What did I take away from this experience?
- This served as such a wonderful wake-up call for me and the realizations that there are still parts within myself that may feel afraid and full of doubts.
- By choosing to love these parts of myself and to thank them for showing me that my journey of knowing myself unfolds more each day in remarkable ways, I was able to raise my vibration again to a place of feeling good.
- This incident proved to be a powerful reminder to honour and follow my own Inner Authority, no matter what or who I was talking to.
- Respecting and admiring another person does not mean disregarding what I know does or does not work for me.
- I am the one who picks up the tab and so I figure that allows me to choose and enjoy the contrast of experiences that springs up and seems appropriate for me.
- In the moment I was able to be grateful for and release the Ouch, that hurt and turn it into a Yay, I am on my way!
- Every situation is an opportunity to take stock of where I am on my vibrational scale of inner balance, because what is within is reflected without.
I am so grateful for this experience that brought me greater understanding of myself!
Can you identify an area or situation in your life where you felt down or heavy and then something wonderful emerged later on? Where you turned your Ouch that hurt, into a Yay! ? Choose to believe that not only does Life have your back – you do as well! Re-member that you are the vital part of your Equation.
In Light and Appreciation
Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!
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