by Breakthrough Savvy - Trilby Johnson | Abundance, Authentic, Author, Awareness, Behaviour, Body, Choice, Consciousness, Health, Inspiration, Relationship, Self-Worth, Success, Take action, Uncategorized, Value, Well-Being, Words |
You’ve probably heard about the X Factor but have you heard about the H Factors? This is not about the TV show and more about setting your own default value settings so that you will be the star in your own life. When it comes to living a successful life, I believe there are two H factors that you must add to your value system to have this – Happiness and Health!
The motivation behind much of what humans do, is to have these two things in life. All the running after success, love and money is basically linked to these two aspects of life. Ask people what they want most in life and ultimately when you drill right down, it’s about being happy and healthy. Yet for many, these two simple factors are rare or sporadic. Many spend their lives working hard to earn money and make ends meet, only to lose along the way, the very things they have been aiming for in the first place and long-term – their happiness and health. Suddenly, the future can look and feel really bleak.
My new book ‘Fearlessly Alone – Stop the Lonely Crisis and Find Your Happy’ takes an insightful and informative look at how happiness and health are imperative to living a fulfilled life and how to achieve them. It is important to add and prioritize these values in your life, to give yourself a fighting chance at peace, prosperity and a purposeful relationship with yourself and consequently others too.
Your values are a set of core principles that you use in making decision across your life based on importance and need. Not to be confused with your beliefs, which are basically assumptions that we take to be true. A conflict of values can arise when two important values come into play and you have to make an important life decision. For instance, whether to stay in a job you hate and find boring for security because you’ve been there for years, or to go for a new job where you can express your value of creativity and independence but there is less job and financial security.
Throughout your life, you strive to meet your values – like respect, love, faith, happiness, health, family, abundance, time, money, etc – and that are the backbone to so many of your choices. It’s important to ask questions when it comes to the ranking of your values, especially when having a conflict of values. Because there is a reason behind this and it may not always be what you think it is.
Prioritizing and updating your values is very important because you and the situations you find yourself in change. When I did this exercise a few years ago, imagine my astonishment when I saw that happiness and health were not even in the top 10. No wonder there seemed to be a lack around happiness and health. Actively participating in your values settings, helps to prioritize them in your subconscious mind and is boosted further when you set positive intentions. It’s about adding value to your life, when and how it serves you best.
Here is a short exercise to help you identify and update your top 10 core values are:
- Sit down and write down the first things that come to mind that are important to you in your life. (If you need examples of values, just google values and you can find lists to draw from.)
- Rank them from 1 to 10 with 1 being the most important and 10 the least.
- Then ask yourself if these are still valid for you?
- Are these values truly your own?
- When sorted, ask if there are any ‘new’ values that you wish to add? Add and rank them.
- Reflect on what has come up for you and also write down any of the beliefs that may have popped up. For example, your health depends on your genetic make-up; you can’t be happy because then people will think you are selfish.
- If happiness and health are not in your top 10, I invite you to add them in. Just for fun and because you can. Then sit back and watch what shows up.
When it comes to your personal values about happiness and health, the way you feel can offer up wonderful and powerful clues. Tune in to your body and sense where the feelings are physical sensations and what they feel like. For instance, do you feel heavy or light. Your body is the best barometer you will ever have when it comes to making the best life choices for you. Simply because, if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t the best choice – for you, in the moment. Check in regularly as you are constantly changing with each choice you make. What makes you happy or feel healthy today, may not be the same in two weeks time.
The more you clarify your values and the beliefs you hold around happiness and health, the more confident you can be when making important life decisions. Your happiness and health and how you create and sustain them are so important to feeling confident and fulfilled in your life. Incorporating these H Factors into your decisions will put the You into Value! That’s what happened for me, once I did. And the same is possible for you too.
In Light and Appreciation
Trilby
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Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!
©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.
Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.Save
by Breakthrough Savvy - Trilby Johnson | Abundance, Authentic, Author, Awareness, Beauty, Behaviour, Body, Body-Image, Books, Cellular Memory, Coaching, Consciousness, Health, Holistic, Law of Attraction, Nutrition and Health, Self-Actualization, Self-Worth, Take action, Thrive, Well-Being |
Have you ever noticed how you are just cruising along and ticking off those things on your to-do-list – whether for your business or your personal affairs – and you are feeling really good and in cruise mode – when suddenly, it’s like a trap door opens up beneath your feet and you fall into the black abyss? Yet again! Almost as if you had made no progress at all. I know, right! It can be extremely frustrating and disheartening to say the least, even when you can say it happens less often. This is what happened to me recently. Let me explain!
There I was, toodling along in creative mode, feeling really excited and filled with a wonderful sense of accomplishment. I had completed writing for two new projects – my new book ‘Fearlessly Alone’ and a collaborative project. Phew! (Which is the reason I hadn’t written any blogs in a while and I had wanted to stay totally focused on getting these done.) Now, I found myself suddenly with heaps of more time on my hands, as you do when you complete a big project and are working to a deadline. There was a lot of empty space – to enjoy and for new stuff to come in. And it did! Some really great and easy new stuff and some not so new stuff, obviously still hidden in the dark recesses of my subconscious and that needed to be looked at in a new way. And yes, ouch that hurt!
What really intrigues me when it comes to Awareness, is that being ‘aware’ enables me to access pools of information all of the time. This is a relief to the perfectionist in me, because it means I don’t have to learn everything – all I have do is tune in to my Awareness and allow that specific information to show up. Of course this attitude means I have to give up the need to control every single little aspect of everything. All of which is fueled by a fear of failure. Now, I am not going to lie and say that this always runs smoothly. Cause just like those little emoticons that pop up on your screen, when strong emotions are at play, it can make for a rocky day. So it helps me to have a strategy for firstly coping and then resolving. Sounds good, doesn’t it! And so how can this hurt, you may be wondering?
A while ago, I signed-up for breakthrough session with a coach whose work I have participated in and whose expertise I respect and admire. So I was looking forward to the 30 minutes conversation and hoping for some more clarity around a specific issue. You know, one of those areas in my life where I still felt like I ‘had to work on myself’. It was not five minutes into the call and conversation, when my mood took a sharp nose-dive and it felt like I was floundering. By the end of the call, I hung up feeling really down in the dumps and filled with doubt. What had happened?! Where had my sense of inner calm and accomplishment vanished to? Allow me to share.
Just like many people, I have my ‘down’ moments and experience feelings of doubt, fear, anger at times – it is part of the human experience. Thank goodness though, that I have the strategy that I mentioned earlier above, because here Life had presented me with an opportunity to apply it – take it for another test run. In other words, a curve ball. I was faced with an opportunity to grow. I knew there was something positive and insightful to take away from this situation and that would reveal to me, my inner workings and how they were derailing me and looking for fine-tuning. Whereas previously, these kinds of moments would last for days, if not weeks or months and become situations, nowadays I am happy to say that whilst they hurt in the moment, they no longer lasted very long anymore. The highs and the lows are becoming more harmonious!
Now, if you don’t yet know me or my story, then I want to share that ‘walking my talk’ is an essential and practical part of how I choose to experience Being Me. It is also an important part of the ‘know how’ that I teach, about how to move away from overwhelm and stress and move into a place of being able to make choices calmly and confidently in daily life. Fortunately, I had recorded the conversation, so I could go back and listen. I was curious as to what had triggered this downward emotional spike and so I listened to the replay. And I got real clear on the reason that it felt Ouch, That Hurt!
What was evident to me when listening back over the conversation, was how, after the first few minutes, the way I spoke about myself and my situation came from a place of victim mentality and focus. It was a real eye opener for me, to listen to the way in which I spoke about my situation during this call and what I had focused on. Furthermore, I had doubted myself and where I was at on my timeline. I had allowed myself to become distracted! No wonder my feelings had plummeted! And thank goodness they had. My inner alert system is working well. I had to listen to the replay for a third time – this time with conscious detachment – before I felt my inner calm and energy once again. It no longer hurt!
What did I take away from this experience?
- This served as such a wonderful wake-up call for me and the realizations that there are still parts within myself that may feel afraid and full of doubts.
- By choosing to love these parts of myself and to thank them for showing me that my journey of knowing myself unfolds more each day in remarkable ways, I was able to raise my vibration again to a place of feeling good.
- This incident proved to be a powerful reminder to honour and follow my own Inner Authority, no matter what or who I was talking to.
- Respecting and admiring another person does not mean disregarding what I know does or does not work for me.
- I am the one who picks up the tab and so I figure that allows me to choose and enjoy the contrast of experiences that springs up and seems appropriate for me.
- In the moment I was able to be grateful for and release the Ouch, that hurt and turn it into a Yay, I am on my way!
- Every situation is an opportunity to take stock of where I am on my vibrational scale of inner balance, because what is within is reflected without.
I am so grateful for this experience that brought me greater understanding of myself!
Can you identify an area or situation in your life where you felt down or heavy and then something wonderful emerged later on? Where you turned your Ouch that hurt, into a Yay! ? Choose to believe that not only does Life have your back – you do as well! Re-member that you are the vital part of your Equation.
In Light and Appreciation
Trilby
Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!
©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.
Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.
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by Breakthrough Savvy - Trilby Johnson | Awareness, Behaviour, Consciousness, Health, I Am, Joy, Language, Love, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Personal Development, Relationship, Self-Worth, Uncategorized, Valentine's Day, Value, Well-Being |
Many people seem to believe that the greatest gift of love to another, is to offer their love. Whilst this is indeed a precious gesture, is this really true or unconditional love?
What if,this is like offering a tool to someone that frankly they have no use for? Even though they appreciate the gesture. What if the highest intent when loving someone, is to love them in the way they need to be loved? Asking them what tool they require and if it will be useful to them. I always remember Louise Hay’s question, “how can I love you more today?”. So often I observe people in their talking about relationships saying that they want someone who will do this and that with them and to share in their interests. When they meet up for their first date, so many just talk about themselves. But what about the other person? What about what interests them?
In the methodology of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) this is a very important premise. Understanding the language of the other. If communication is to be successful, then it is imperative to use the words that make sense to the person being communicated with. This seems to make so much sense, yet many people experience difficult communication which leads to misunderstanding due to not checking in with the other person, firstly that they have understood. Have you ever experienced or overheard a conversation where you say one thing, the other person says another, there is disagreement, only to later find out that you meant the same thing? This is an example of where people with different cognitive modalities are talking, but unwittingly at each other rather than with each other. It is about choosing the form of words that suit the mental map of the other party. For example, for people who collect data visually, certain words like imagine or questions like ‘can you see?’ make the conversation flow. So for people who are auditive or kinesthetic it would certainly facilitate things to use words that ‘speak’ to them. I believe it is similar when it comes to emotional relationships, which are forms of conversation.
If people are to experience truly fulfilling, satisfying and loving relationship, where there is a vulnerable intimacy possible, I believe we must change our expectations of relationship. Especially the main one – our relationship with ourselves. We have to face our own demons or shadow selves and love them into simply being – beyond judgment – so that the shadow can expand into the light. Having experienced seriously dis-functional relationships, I chose to really sit down and take a long hard look at what kept on showing up. And then taking ownership. Standing in my responsibility as a Creator and embracing it all – the good, the bad and the ugly. For after all, it is who I am. And I choose to be in love with whatever that is and looks like.
Yes of course there is always space for expansion, however there is a huge difference when this comes from a place of judgment – or polarity reality – rather than from a space of ‘now what amazing adventure would I like to create, be, have, experience and generate next?”. Then I can come from a place and space of true being that lends a sense of communion to all relating. Then I can stand In Love and lose nothing of myself when loving another as they require it. When the ego falls away it becomes easy to do, because it is no longer about ‘how I will love you” and rather ‘let me explore the many ways to love and love you differently’.
The more I travel this road of Knowing Myself the more I understand the importance of what truly loving oneself first, means for me. It is only then that there is no requirement to be loved by another, because one already is In Love. Then what flows forth when together with another is a dance of joy and participation and of expansion and of experiencing something new each day. There is already a sense of wholeness that requires simple self-expression rather than validation from and by another. When the “I” in the relationship becomes the ‘We’ of the Relationship – The Oneness. The real love question therefore in my opinion, is in learning to speak the the language of the Beloved – the true language (and message) of love.And it starts with self-love and is perpetuated from there.
May you Be In Love!
In Light
Trilby
Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!
©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.
Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.
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by Breakthrough Savvy - Trilby Johnson | Abundance, Awareness, Behaviour, Challenge, Choice, Consciousness, Freedom, Health, Love, Take action, Valentine's Day |
Working from home I don’t often use my car these days. Which makes the spiders happy because they get to think that they can take over. Until I use the car again. Which happened earlier this week.
It was a hot day and so hopping in the car, I attempted to open the window on the passenger side as it gives better ventilation without me getting blown away. Nothing happened. I pushed the button again. Still nothing. Oh no, it’s broken! I had a quick mental flashback to the days when cars still had window handles that you could use to wind down the windows manually.
Thoughts of having to have the window repaired also flashed through my mind as I wondered where the money for this unforeseen expense would come from? But, I was driving and so concentrated on taking the sharp bends in the road ahead. Several miles further on, I suddenly thought of the window again. Of course I had to check again if it opened, as you do sometimes – just to be sure. So I pushed the same button once again. Still nothing! Then I noticed the other button next to the window one – a little squarish button that I rarely used as I am the sole occupant of my car. ‘Push that’ my little voice said. So I did and then tried again. This time the window opened. It wasn’t broken. It had simply been locked!
I am sharing this story because I love how seemingly unrelated events can suddenly bring clarity in other areas of Life – all at the push of a button. It was as if a floodgate of awareness had opened up across my life to connect the dots of what was really going on at a subconscious level. Reflecting on the incident and the thoughts that had crossed my mind, I realized how often I had believed something wasn’t working – with me, my life, my business, my relationships, my money and my body. How often does that happen – to look at things from the perspective of them being broken? And yes even when things are actually broken, experience has shown me that there is always a solution or something new that presents itself.
My thoughts went on as to how these decisions and conclusion around issues and situations that show up in our lives, create interruption in the flow of energy. The energy becomes locked into this loop of the ‘broken’ belief! Energy loves to flow and is indestructible so it can never be broken. It can however become locked into a pattern of cause and effect that will repeat itself until the right release switch is pushed. And then it’s off again – flowing into expansion!
So what locks the energy in? Energy becomes locked into a particular pattern through attachment to a specific vibrational frequency. Energy responds to awareness and so if awareness is used to focus on particular aspects, then more and more energy will flow towards those aspects. Until such a time as a different button is pushed to release the form that has become attached to the energy.
The analogy of the car window helped make me aware that in fact nothing in my life was broken, only locked in by my conscious and unconscious choice of thoughts, feelings and emotions and behaviours. To open up the flow of energy again, all that was required was to unlock my thinking and choose something different. Change can happen at the push of a button. It has to be the right button though and you have to choose to give it a go. Nothing in Life is ever broken – even though it may appear so on the surface. Life is simply waiting and asking to be unlocked so that it can flow into something else – something different, something new and sometimes just a better version of the same.
It’s not broken. It’s just sometimes locked. And the key to unlocking Life is about you and me co-creating our human Being through choosing consciousness and love. You just have to find the right button and give it a push. It’s the same for your heart. It’s not broken, it’s just locked. Perhaps it’s time to open it up to new ways of loving. What do you say?
In Light, Love and Appreciation.
Trilby
Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!
©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.
Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.
by Breakthrough Savvy - Trilby Johnson | Authentic, Awareness, Behaviour, Books, Choice, Consciousness, Freedom, Health, Joy, Love, Magic, Personal Development, Question, Self-Worth, Success, Take action, Thrive, Uncategorized, Value, Well-Being |
The terrorist events back in 2015 in Paris shook many of us to the core and raised a new level of awareness around war and peace. It has shaken our sense of security, however flimsy that may actually be and awoken in us the fear that we are no longer safe. Whilst the recent incidents in Paris most certainly got the Western world’s attention, it has of course raised issues as well about all the other events of mass suffering that are going on and that get little media focus. It has also made the levels of fear skyrocket which is the motive of anyone who uses force and brutality. And for the most part it worked. Or did it?
In the moment perhaps, but there is something new being born, apparent on social networking and beyond the main medias reach. There is a movement of trust and love and a willingness to take accountability showing up. And so whilst many are indeed experiencing fear, which is a legitimate emotion, there also is an awareness that it is now time to make a choice. The new age is now today and I feel we are being shown quite clearly that the choices we make from this moment on, are of pivotal importance. It’s a matter of trust. More to the point however, is trust in who or what and can anything be trusted at all in these uncertain times?
I see a new thought field around love gathering momentum and thank goodness many more people appear to be responding with love rather than reacting in fear. And yet this upsurge of destructive action indicates that for many love is still an illusive state of being, despite this new unfolding of a very strong desire and demand to move away from violence as means of accomplishing anything of value and sustainable.
What is also in question here is, who is responsible? We blame society, but we are society. And so it really is time to stop and take a long hard look at our daily actions. For the most part, most people agree that all you need is love, as the Beatles sang. Yet what is visible in the external world and a reflected representation of the underlying inner and subconscious world, within us, is that there is not that much love. As more Light is brought in, the Shadows will also show up in stark contrast and this is what is occurring. I myself have desired to be more loving and yes loved and yet this simple desire on its own has not proven easy to attain. This, in spite of and despite my choosing to love more. Beginning with myself. It is in my journey of falling in love with myself again, that I uncovered what for me is the missing link, that will bind the intention to the behaviour and experience. A matter of trust!
In my exploration of my shadow-self, I uncovered a side to what is supposedly ‘love’ that is nasty, controlling, selfish, disempowering and terribly confusing. Listen to many of the love songs on the radio today and the message they give. Love always seems to be unrequited. What’s with that? There must be something missing! And whilst love does seem to be all we need, the current definition and implicit meanings within this noun and verb are creating terrible suffering and misguided information. The word ‘love’ has been so misused and abused that people find themselves running after this state often only to crash down with terrible disappointment and harm. How many times have you been told that it’s for your own good and because you are loved, when in fact it was just another step in applying a notion that belongs to someone else. Love is so tangled up in social and religious and cultural beliefs that it has been strangled almost to death. If love is truly to be what saves us, then it is in desperate need of an overhaul. Or we need a new way to access it’s potential.
Now don’t get me wrong. I believe very much in love and yes I am a romantic. However, I am no longer caught up in the entrainment that is behind the general definition and use of this word in so many cases. If love was as simple as that, then how come it is such a struggle for so many? In my experience, true love requires a safe place in which it can truly unfold and blossom. For love to sprout in our hearts and mind, requires vulnerability beyond the daily demands of the ego that is rooted in belief systems that do not always serve our personal values. For love to truly become visible in my daily experience, something that I could feel in every fibre of my being, I first had to choose to trust myself. Without trusting in me, my life lay around me in tatters and no matter how much I wanted to build something loving, the foundations were shaky and so always crumbled. Trust is the foundation on which love stands. Your trust for yourself, no one else. Trust is when you choose to follow your own inner voice no matter what, because it’s Knowing cannot be denied anymore.
So much of the misunderstanding around love I believe is because it is like a carrot that has been dangled in front of our noses for centuries. Yet it is seldom achievable by the masses. For me the missing link is a matter of trust. Without trust in yourself it is difficult to trust in life, because life will reflect back to you, all the places you distrust yourself and there is nowhere for love to plant its roots. To open your heart so wide that you are totally exposed and yet totally whole, takes trust. As long as self-trust is missing, true love will continue to slip through our fingers. Always just out of reach. Like learning to run before you can walk. Trust is about consciously choosing to know and continue to choose to know that you are always safe, that life is but a dream and that love is a many splendid thing. Through Receiving Unconditionally Spirit Talks.
Life has shown me that before I can truly embrace my Greatness, I have to trust in myself. And love, happiness, joy, well-being are all the fruits of this choice to listen to those whispers of my Heart’s Knowing. Trust for me is my connection to knowing that I too am a part of All That Is and that runs through everything. True Love is unconditional and flows through everything, yet trust is the key to receiving. When you are missing this key, it is difficult to receive because there is no trust. No trust in yourself, that you are Divine enough to know and significant enough to receive. Therefore true love continues to wait patiently and unconditionally until you do. It’s a matter of trust!
This is a vast and complex topic and of course you will have your own points of view. I just feel it is time to address what I see is going on. Not just for myself but with the many clients I work with. The issue always comes down to self-trust. This is just one aspect and one possibility though. One way that turned my life around and continues to do so. This understanding of trust – Through Receiving Unconditionally Spirit Talks – came to me whilst writing my book ‘A-Ha Moments – Inspirational Quotes to Shift Your Thinking’. If you enjoyed this blog and the ideas explored here and wish to have your own copy, please go here – Books.
I really feel that we are all being called. It is time now to choose either love or fear. It begins with you, because you are the co-creator and everything you choose to think, feel, have, do, create and generate is a creative force that stems from within you. It is an invitation to look deep within your shadows because that is where the real you is hiding, buried under mountains of judgment. Hiding with all your potential. Trust in yourself. And when you go wrong, then choose to trust in yourself again. Trusting in you is perhaps the most important choice you can ever make if you truly wish to fully receive the experience of unconditional love.
Sending Light to everyone. Holding a vision that you choose to trust yourself. Please love yourself so much that it will never ever be possible to harm yourself or another. The way in which you trust yourself matters much more than you perhaps know.
Be bold. Be courageous. Be in trust.
In Light and Appreciation.
Trilby
Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!
©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.
Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.
