There’s so much emphasis around ‘gratitude’ and how important it is if you want to be successful and fulfilled. So what happens when it seems a big ask to find something to be grateful for or about?
While being grateful is something we can all probably aspire to be more of, for many years I admit – I struggled to feel gratitude. It’s not that I didn’t want to be grateful – I did – however, keeping with my own integrity and honesty, I knew I wasn’t there yet! And quite frankly, faking it until I made it, wasn’t working for me either.
This often left me confused and feeling guilty – was there something wrong with me that I couldn’t feel gratitude for everything and all of the time? I was in a transformational pickle and for some time did not know which way to turn! Have you ever felt like this and wondered what’s going on or how to change it?
Quite simply, as the individual you are, the way in which you experience events and gratitude, is totally exclusive to you. So when presented with a new concept, it’s up to you to find the doorway in. Here are some of clues I followed that helped me to break through into gratitude, in a way that felt genuine and empowering.
1. Define Gratitude
Very often, due to indoctrination and socialization, you can get pulled into the definition of the ‘group consciousness’ around different concepts. Gratitude, is simply one example. So what does gratitude mean for you?
As humans, there is a tendency to want to classify information. For the most part, the linguistic or language meaning is used, as a form of creating easier understanding and cognitive cohesion. On the surface this works. However, this only addresses the mental aspects of definitions. There is another level of definition, commonly called semantics, or in other words, meaning. Take a look at what’s underneath the gratitude.
The way the brain stores data is very much linked to the emotional charge of the events in your life. When strong emotions are involved, then defining gratitude becomes a whole different kettle of fish. If you were to stop and imagine yourself being grateful, what would that look like, feel like, sound like to you? Follow these clues. I suggest one way of how, in point two.
2. Feel Your Way
Trust your feelings because they are your compass. If even feeling gratitude feels off, then all it is showing you, is that you haven’t yet found your way. Often there is a tendency to judge this as right or wrong, which can create a wedge between where you are and feeling gratitude. This is the reason that defining what gratitude embodies for you is essential, otherwise it simply will not stick and keeps you stuck.
If you feel that gratitude means giving up, faking it, lying to yourself, making another part of you feel wrong and it’s greedy to ask for more – then you will sabotage yourself in some way. It’s important to look at all the aspects that go into an attitude of gratitude – for you. And when along the way, it feels off for you, keep going and ask for clarity as you move forward. Feel your way – it’s your best bet!
3. Use Manners
Your words matter! They really do. Do you consciously say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when you want or receive something? This may appear an ‘old fashioned’ way of doing things, however, I am a firm believer in ‘old wisdom’.
The way you are speaking to others, is an outward reflection of how you speak to yourself – it shows what kind of a mind-map you have. Everything is within and this includes the capacity to gift and receive – and the code words to access these states are ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.
As a child, I was taught that if I wanted something, to ask and say ‘please’. And when I received something, to say ‘thank you’. Only much later as an adult did I observe, that when I consciously applied these to my intentions and desires, there was a distinct shift in the energy dynamic. Almost as if the Universe stopped and paid attention to what I was going to say and do.
Using manners helps to cultivate a ‘walk the talk’ behaviour! When I use my manners, I am acknowledging the divine aspect within myself and my capacity to co-create with Life itself. I am honouring my Self. This allows more ease and joy and a feeling of being ‘great-full’.
4. Make your Life a Gratitude Journal
A very powerful and practical way to create the possibility of breaking through into gratitude in my experience, is with a gratitude journal. I found it really helpful to focus on writing down things I was grateful for. It helped me to count my blessings and give them form. However, please don’t let keeping a journal be the end result. It’s the starting point! Apply this ‘gratitude’ in your daily life and interactions and communications with others.
In my personal experience, to fully integrate a mindset, takes conscious direction and frequent implementation. This is about applying mental and often abstract concepts with focus daily to create a ‘habit of gratitude’. This helped me to move through the struggle and meet gratitude in a pragmatic and tangible way that worked for me. And so can you!
Remember, gratitude is a process and as such, you simply cannot force your way into it. By connecting to the essence of what gratitude feels like for you, then you will have your unique form of gratitude. You do this by systematically assessing your feelings and observing what comes up for you.
Adjust. Align. Choose.
As you move forward with each step you are feeling your way and breaking through into gratitude.
Many Blissings
Trilby x
Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Mentor and Metaphysical Intuitive, Best-Selling Author and Speaker. Clients hire her to stop struggling and move beyond limitation. Trilby assists in creating the new energetic pathways that empowers and assists in resolving core issues.
Contact Trilby for aBreakthrough Assessmentif you are ready for breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom!
With the resurgence of the practice of meditation into my life, through facilitating meditation classes and requests from clients seeking stress release and health improvement, I was amazed when looking up the definition of meditation online, to come across the medical dictionary interpretation.
Here it quite clearly states: Meditation can be used with other forms of medical treatment and is an important complementary therapy for both the treatment and prevention of many stress-related conditions. Regular meditation can reduce the number of symptoms experienced by patients with a wide range of illnesses and disorders. Based upon clinical evidence as well as theoretical understanding, meditation is considered to be one of the better therapies for panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, substance dependence and abuse, ulcers, colitis, chronic pain, psoriasis, and dysthymic disorder. It is considered to be a valuable adjunctive therapy for moderate hypertension (high blood pressure), prevention of cardiac arrest (heart attack), prevention of atherosclerosis (hardening of arteries), arthritis (including fibromyalgia), cancer, insomnia, migraine, and prevention of stroke. Meditation may also be a valuable complementary therapy for allergies and asthma because of the role stress plays in these conditions. Meditative practices have been reported to improve function or reduce symptoms in patients with some neurological disorders as well. These include people with Parkinson’s disease, people who experience fatigue with multiple sclerosis, and people with epilepsy who are resistant to standard treatment.
I don’t know about you, however in all the years that I have sought medical advice, not one GP ever suggested meditation and its benefits. In fact, I was left with the distinct impression that many in the medical professions considered, and still do, meditation to be total rubbish.
Researching more online, I was pleasantly surprised to find countless mention of meditation and its amazing and renowned benefits. So why is it that those in the medical profession are not prescribing meditation more often? I am not advocating for the abolition of medication, however, what about supplementing and complimenting it with meditation sessions?
I know that regular meditation, as in daily, consciously reconnects us with ourself. It is a way of being present. Meditation is so much a part of my life now, that I can hardly remember what it was like before ……….. if there ever was a before.
As an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, I encourage you to take up meditation and next time your doctor writes you a prescription, why not ask him to prescribe meditation as well?
In fact, why wait until you have to see a doctor, start meditation today. I am sure that wherever you find yourself, there is a group that runs meetings, or write down your own meditation and record your own voice speaking it. I offer sessions via Phone or Skype, so the possibilities are infinite.
What if meditating today, will keep the doctor away? I know where I choose to invest my money and time. What about you?
Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Is this yet another new well-being technique? I prefer to see it as a different and fresh angle on an ancient philosophy for experiencing relaxation, health and spiritual enlightenment. The Art of Conscious Detachment in my definition is the ability to simple observe and participate in whatever is going on, neutrally, i.e. without judgement. Judgement is a mental function and will always create separation and attachment. The practice of this art is otherwise more commonly referred to as Meditation.
Ask a large cross section of the general public about meditation and very few can give a clear explanation of what it is and how to do it, whilst many shy away from it and refer to it has some spiritual stuff. Over the last several decades, meditation is a New Age term that has become much bandied about, in the West at least. Yet few people actually understand or practise it. Countless informative and valuable books have been written on the subject of meditation, nevertheless today many people are still looking for quick, effective and practical solutions. The days of going into isolation for weeks or months on end to achieve or experience a deep meditative state, are over and beyond the scope of the majority. Although much can be discussed here, in this short article I briefly touch on a couple of underlying premises that will facilitate an easy and effective ability to experience the art of conscious detachment, as well as demystify the myth and hopefully make it inviting, stimulating and do-able to more people. So, let’s take a practical look at this metaphysical state!
Meditation, for many, has a spiritual connotation to it, which can put a lot of people off, as they feel they do not fit into this category. The good news is that the art of conscious detachment is not subjective to whether one is actively spiritual or not. Whilst the New Age movement has done much to promote meditation as a tool for those on a spiritual path, it is also very simply a way of life, as can be witnessed in Indian and Eastern cultures, where people grow up with this as a daily practise.
Now, many people who attempt meditating for the first time, may give up pretty soon because the art of detachment cannot be approached cognitively. Meditation is a paradox, in that it is a state that is achieved through the mind and yet it is not of the mind. It is indeed a cultivated art to reach a state of being in conscious detachment. The challenge come to those who meditate, whether a novice or a veteran, because the second one attempts to empty the mind, is exactly the moment that the monkey mind begins to chatter very loudly and incessantly. Sounds familiar? J Even with regular practise this can still occur, however, it does become easier to seduce the mental mind into releasing its vice-like grip, with practise and regularity, which facilitates the increased experience of conscious detachment.
One of the easiest, quickest and most effective ways to experience this cessation of mind chatter is through something that every human being on this planet does. BREATHING! It is something we all already do in order to stay alive in our physical bodies. Breathing is a built-in reflex, automatically controlled for the most part by the brain. However, it is also one of the few biological functions that we are able to control consciously, within limits. When done with control or focus, a very particular shift occurs, not only in the body but across the board.
In Hatha Yoga, a primary principle is: Where awareness goes, energy glows and where energy flows, awareness goes. A way in which this can be experienced is that with focus on the breath, everything seems to slow down and yet expand simultaneously. Almost like when zooming out with a telescopic lens, one is afforded a view of a bigger picture. When we zoom out by focusing on the breath, the mental mind eases its grip on our awareness and more energy flows in. This creates a greater sense of detachment.
Another side-effect of controlled breathing is that it impacts on hormones which control body metabolism and functionality by carrying signals to and from the brain. For example, controlled breathing is effective for calming nerves or anxiety, as it sends a message to the brain that all is well and to lower adrenaline rush and heart rate.
The way a habit is formed and programmed in the brain is through repetition, which forms new synapses in the brain. Naturally the more you repeat something, the quicker and more automated it becomes. So, with regular repetitive practise neural pathways can be created and reinforced to support and stimulate the state of conscious detachment. Now, this does not have to be a long laborious process or set in stone. So start small – remember to break down the elephant into smaller pieces, as this makes for easier handling.
Sitting down and expecting to know how to experience deep meditation the first time, is setting the bar a bit high and causes unnecessary pressure. If you choose to begin with half a minute of conscious breathing every day, very shortly you will notice how much easier it happens on its own. At first don’t be too concerned with the when and how. Just do it when it pops up into your thoughts and you can also ask yourself to remember to prompt you. Sounds crazy perhaps, but it works. Why not try it?
So, no need to go and sit for hours on end in a dark silent room. Increase the length of time to find your own comfortable routine. A hint: if you feel as if you are no longer getting anything out of the time you spend, try changing the routine, environment and length of time. Just as everyday is different, so will be the quality and time of your meditation, which can be influenced by physical, emotional and environmental factors. Energy is in constant state of flux and as an Energy Being, so are you.
The regular practice of the art of conscious detachment contributes through controlled breathing leads to an increased sense of overall well-being. This is now more widely acknowledged, in particular by the medical world. Some benefits experienced can be: relaxation, improved energy levels, better circulation, restful sleep, reduced medicinal side-effects, more joy, ability to control anxiety, increased appetite, greater sense of peace/connectedness, etc
Now for what reason, would you not choose to have some of this?
Many Blissings.
Trilby
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Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Imagine if you had a compass that would effectively guide you to what you wanted! Like Jack Sparrow’s Compass in ‘Pirates of The Caribbeans’, which showed the bearer where their deepest desire could be found? This wonderful compass analogy reminded me that it is possible and I have experienced it many times before. I call this compass – synchronicity. Do you know what synchronicity is, or do you call it coincidence or luck? How can you use synchronicity as a compass?
In this vlog. I explain what my understanding of synchronicity is and how I use this a technique to help me align, identify and benchmark occurrences that enrich my life. I had a real-life example recently, which I talk about and which made me laugh.
The magical thing about these events, I have observed, is that the more I became aware of and acknowledged the information that was there, and asked for the clarity in each moment, the more frequently, quicker and clearer it shows up. This allows me to gauge my progress and to fine-tune my vibration and direction and adjust my focus.
Every day is a surprise. There are confirmations of an interconnectivity and synchronicity which inspire, titillate and confirm the inherent comedy of the universe.”
~ Billy Zane
Watch here to find out more.
Now that you’ve watched the video, can you recognize and identify times when synchronicity was working in your life? What are some of your synchronistic experiences in your life? Share in the comments.
Also, begin to notice what shows up in your life over the next days or so – allow yourself to be surprised.
In Light and Appreciation.
Trilby Johnson
Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Whilst many people who know the power of beliefs will agree, there is a shortage of people who truly believe they are awesome and who feel really good about feeling this way about themselves. So what holds so many back, when it comes to firstly believing they are awesome and secondly living in an awesome way?
I find many people confuse knowing how awesome they are with being arrogant. Somewhere along the line, in their system of beliefs and values, these two qualities have become collapsed together on some subconscious level and perhaps more importantly, with a negative connotation.
And so they are afraid to show up as awesome because they will be judged by others. And of course, they are also, on some subconscious level judging themselves in a negative way. If this was not so, there would be no problem in showing up as awesome and there would also be little judgment around arrogance either for that matter.
Embracing your awesomeness comes from a system of valuing yourself and feeling confident about what you do and can share with others. On the other hand, arrogance tends to stem paradoxically from a feeling of low-esteem and in order to compensate, the person will often adopt a behaviour of exaggerated confidence albeit one that puts others down and does not listen to other people’s opinions or ideas.
Here’s a quiz.
Think of someone who you consider as awesome. What are the qualities of this person that attract you? Now think of someone who you consider as arrogant. What are the qualities of this person that attract you? When done, ask yourself, who would you prefer being around and why? Write the reasons down and how you feel when with these people.
People enjoy being in the company of people who embrace their awesomeness. The main reason is because these people feel good about themselves and exude charm and confidence. And people will want to spend time in the company of these people. Life is simple too short to spend it not enjoying your own awesomeness and then being with awesome people.
Judgment is a natural part of the mental assessment process. However, you still have the choice as to what choice you are going to make. To play small or to play awesome! What if the only thing that is stopping you from being awesome, or even more awesome, is judgment? What if you gave that up, right here and now? Imagine how organically awesome your life can be! Are you ready to dare to be your awesomeness?
Believe in yourself and allow that to grow. The world really needs your awesomeness right now!
In Light and Appreciation
Trilby
Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
There’s so much emphasis around ‘gratitude’ and how important it is if you want to be successful and fulfilled. So what happens when it seems a big ask to find something to be grateful for or about?
Is this yet another new well-being technique? I prefer to see it as a different and fresh angle on an ancient philosophy for experiencing relaxation, health and spiritual enlightenment. The Art of Conscious Detachment in my definition is the ability to simple observe and participate in whatever is going on, neutrally, i.e. without judgement. Judgement is a mental function and will always create separation and attachment. The practice of this art is otherwise more commonly referred to as Meditation. 
Imagine if you had a compass that would effectively guide you to what you wanted! Like Jack Sparrow’s Compass in ‘Pirates of The Caribbeans’, which showed the bearer where their deepest desire could be found? This wonderful compass analogy reminded me that it is possible and I have experienced it many times before. I call this compass – synchronicity. Do you know what synchronicity is, or do you call it coincidence or luck? How can you use synchronicity as a compass?