by Breakthrough Savvy - Trilby Johnson | Abundance, Be Happy, Behaviour, Decision Making, Emotions, How to accept myself for who I am, Mental Health Awareness, Mindset, Self-Actualization, Self-Worth, Success, Take action, Well-Being, Words |
It’s possible to learn how to manage anger by understanding the energy dynamic of this emotion better and changing perspective so that there is a shift in consciousness.
Anger is usually considered an unsavoury and destructive type of emotion. In other words, unsavoury is a belief that only fuels its often volatile nature. When out of control, angry feelings can escalate into violence and destruction and so frightens us. Yet, anger is an emotion like any other. It is when this emotion is misdirected or impeded that it can build up into something explosive and be expressed in destructive ways.
Many people are uncomfortable and frightened by anger, in a large part due to how we are socialized. Today there are many anger management courses available, which can help teach people how to manage this emotion. When we attempt to stop an emotion for long enough, by suppressing or repressing it, it is like trying to stop a volcano from erupting – eventually, it will blow up.
1. Anger is primal
As I wrote in my blog Understanding Your Emotional Makeup about what an emotion is – anger is often considered one of the base emotions. So when we feel threatened or afraid, anger can often be an instinctive reaction in an attempt to safeguard ourselves.
This is often what happens when someone ‘snaps’ or ‘lashes out’. So it’s important to address our personal issues so that there are no pent up emotions that can potentially explode.
2. Anger is a secondary emotion
A secondary emotion occurs in response to something else happening first. Even those that apparently ‘fly off the handle’, there is something causing the anger. Now, this doesn’t mean it’s okay to go ballistic, be aggressive or hurt someone.
To get a handle on angry feelings, however, does require self-interrogation and perhaps some time to cool down, if necessary. The particularity about anger is that underneath this secondary feeling, is your personal power and ability to be discerning.
When you are in touch with these aspects, it makes you calmer and self-assured, less liable to allow yourself to be manipulated by others.
3. Anger can motivate you
Generally, anger arises when one of your personal values, self-worth or safety is challenged, jeopardized or disrespected. Can you remember a time when someone said something untrue about you? Did you feel angry? That angry feeling is a response to an untruth – a misalignment in the energy – and your barometer to let you know that you are not okay with what is going on. Anger can often empower you to say ‘NO’ and motivate you to take a stand and not let yourself be a doormat. When you are able to manage your anger appropriately, you have the ability to assert your rights in a way that leaves no room for doubt as to your sincerity.
4. Anger is not a sin
Often spiritual people can feel it’s wrong to be angry. As if one excludes the other. Whatever it is you want to call it doesn’t matter.
The point is to be whole and fulfilled, you are going to have to accept and allow all of yourself to be. And that means being alright with the whole spectrum of emotions. None are more important than another if you look at them as messages.
Every emotion is telling you something about yourself so that you can get to know yourself better. And in my opinion the sin lies in not embracing all of you.
5. Anger is contagious
By this I mean, that often families and social groups ‘share’ ideologies and these get passed on through education and indoctrination.
Firstly, is the anger yours? Have you asked the question? Until you ask the question you will not know. Often we are walking around with unconscious patterns playing out.
Research has shown that it is possible for us to pick up on other people’s energy and vice versa. If you know you are highly sensitive, an empath, or psychic, then asking this will save you energy and unnecessary stress. Give it a go and see if you notice a difference.
6. Transmute the anger
When you are in the grips of primal anger, the quickest way I have found to flick the switch so that you can stay discerning and express yourself appropriately is by focusing on your breathing. Stopping to take a few conscious breaths slows down the parasympathetic nervous system and so your brain stops sending fight or flight signals. I invite you to Destress, Detox, and Relax by getting your free download of my audio tool on conscious breathing.
7. Empower yourself through mentoring
If your struggling and stuck in patterns of angry behaviour, don’t hesitate to get support! It’s important to get practical skills that can help you shift your mood and fortunately today, it’s encouraged.
Often anger is a response to a feeling of hopelessness or lack of knowing how to manage something.
You are not at the mercy of your emotions and if you feel that you are, this is definitely a sign to find a mentor to help you in finding clarity and confidence. There’s always a solution and having an unbiased and professional support system is an important step in managing your angier in a healthier way.
As a species, humans have the ability to experience diverse emotions. Anger can be used as a powerful tool of discernment and also the potency to see things through. As with all emotions, it’s not only what we do when feeling them, it’s especially how we do it! When we take charge of managing and expressing our anger constructively, we will begin to find ourselves in a place where we can consider adding a dose of forgiveness.
It takes a conscious choice to manage anger in an empowering healthier way.
Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Metaphysical Intuitive Mentor offering realistic, practical principles to assist highly-sensitive, intuitive and conscious individuals to heal, thrive and live their desired BIG lives.
Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment if you are ready for breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom!
©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.
Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.
by Breakthrough Savvy - Trilby Johnson | Be Happy, Beliefs, Decision Making, Emotions, Freedom, Happiness, Health, How to accept myself for who I am, Mindset, Self-Actualization, Self-Worth, Spirituality, Success, Well-Being |
Emotions are very much a part of our daily lives and are deemed to be what distinguishes us from other ‘animals.’ Yet they can also be what trips us up again and again, as long as we are slaves to them, rather than their master. For much of my life, I was on a series of distressful emotional roller-coasters that eventually resulted in mental and emotional health issues. Long-term these impacted on my relationships, jobs, finances, health and mindset. Until one day, over feeling miserable and broken, I said, ‘No More.’
To change, I sought out information and professionals to help me acquire the skills I needed and that I hadn’t received while growing up. I was thirsty for knowledge and wanted to learn how to be happy without feeling like life was an emotional roller-coaster that was out of control.
Here are 5 Ways to be Free of Emotional Roller-Coasters that I Found to Work:
1. Keep Off the Ride:
This may seem obvious and yet it’s often overlooked. It’s important to know what pushes your buttons and to then manage situations and people you allow into your life. How often do you get that little niggle inside and you ignore it? This is where the roller coaster ride begins – when we don’t heed that inner knowing of what is and isn’t good for us. This often occurs as we are afraid of being judged, failing, not fitting in or being wrong.
It’s important to notice and acknowledge all emotions, whether they are considered good or bad. They are messengers of the programmes playing out in our heads and which we are often indoctrinated into as we grow up, through parents, society, culture, and religion.
Get to know and manage your own personal emotional states, which will mean that you can make more informed decisions and be able to manage yourself with more confidence.
2. Meditate on A Regular Basis:
Meditation is a great preventative measure when done on a regular basis, as it helps the brain to actually have the time to organize information with you aware. Practised regularly, this helps diffuse and process volatile emotional energies before they get out of control.
Contrary to what many may believe or have been instructed, I found attempting to meditate when you are in the throes of strong emotions is futile. It’s like blowing on a fire that is already out of control in an attempt to put it out. Don’t try to meditate when you are on an emotional roller-coaster as this can feel like things are actually getting worse!
Wait until you are feeling calmer before you sit down to meditation.
Meditation helps to install a practise of being able to respond more calmly and mindfully to daily events.
3. Count to 10:
Ever heard Grandma say this? Well, she was definitely wise and onto something. It’s always wise to avoid taking action or making decisions when on an emotional roller-coaster. We have all experienced the damage one can do when under strong emotion and the regret that follows.
Emotions, especially strong ones, can swamp the brain, as it becomes flooded with physical reactions and then the brain is challenged on which reaction to prioritise. When stopping to count to 10, this gives the body a short lapse of time that opens a window in the brain, to move from flight and fight to more logical processing.
4. Stop and Breathe:
This simple yet powerful tool continues to be underused. When I say ‘take a breath’ to clients they laugh or make some cryptic comment – at least at first. And yet, stopping to take a breath changes everything.
Firstly, the act of stopping stops you. Use the previous point of counting to 10 to help you stop. Do this physically – pull over in the car, leave the room, stand up if sitting or sit down if standing. Change your physical stance.
Next, focus on taking a big conscious breath. Take several until you feel something shift. If the emotions begin to bubble up again, acknowledge them and make a conscious decision to deal with them at a later time once you are calmer and can think straight.
The mind is a great selection tool when calm and clear and not clouded by strong emotions. A clear head allows you to make a more informed choice and choose how to behave appropriately. Stopping and breathing will give you the time to choose.
The more often you practise stopping to take a conscious breath, the more you will unlock your secret weapon to stress release. I invite you to access my free audio DESTRESS DETOX RELAX now.
5. Learn Empowering Life Skills:
Hire a mentor or coach to learn the life skills you are missing. Most of us have not be taught how to manage our emotions in healthy ways and so we keep on repeating the same behavioural patterns. Until we replace the pattern with something new and different. If you struggle with emotional overwhelm often, there is no shame in seeking out support.
You’ve probably heard the saying, “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” well, neither was your emotional make-up.
Here are A Few Examples on How to Slowly Increase New Life Skills:
- Read a wide range of articles on emotional intelligence and techniques.
- Keep a journal of your own emotions and write about them – putting things down on paper is very empowering and it also keeps you accountable.
- Make friends with your emotions – it’s easier to install change in a friendly environment.
- Talk to other people and listen to their stories – it helps give a bigger picture.
As humans, we love to have meaning in our life… to feel the thrill… which can sometimes be found while on roller-coasters.
It’s not everyone’s cup of tea though, and especially if you end up feeling derailed emotionally most of the time.
Life is not meant to lived as a constant roller-coaster ride, at least in my opinion; it’s meant more to be about gentle rises and falls and ebbs and flows. The above suggestions can help in learning to master emotions in ways that are healthy and beneficial to you and those around you, so that there’s more freedom and enjoyment rather than drama at the expense of one’s sanity and well-being.
– Trilby
Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Mentor and Intuitive, Best-Selling Author and Speaker. Her clients hire her to stop struggling and feeling stuck and move beyond limitation into wisdom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health, mindset and soul connection. Trilby assists them in creating and experiencing new energetic pathways that lead to breakthrough and beyond.
Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment if you are ready to breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom!
©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.
Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.
by Breakthrough Savvy - Trilby Johnson | Alternative Therapy, Authentic, Awareness, Balance, Chakras, Consciousness, Decision Making, Emotions, Inspiration, Intuitive, Meditation, Personal Development, Spirituality, Uncategorized, Well-Being |
Is this yet another new well-being technique? I prefer to see it as a different and fresh angle on an ancient philosophy for experiencing relaxation, health and spiritual enlightenment. The Art of Conscious Detachment in my definition is the ability to simple observe and participate in whatever is going on, neutrally, i.e. without judgement. Judgement is a mental function and will always create separation and attachment. The practice of this art is otherwise more commonly referred to as Meditation.
Ask a large cross section of the general public about meditation and very few can give a clear explanation of what it is and how to do it, whilst many shy away from it and refer to it has some spiritual stuff. Over the last several decades, meditation is a New Age term that has become much bandied about, in the West at least. Yet few people actually understand or practise it. Countless informative and valuable books have been written on the subject of meditation, nevertheless today many people are still looking for quick, effective and practical solutions. The days of going into isolation for weeks or months on end to achieve or experience a deep meditative state, are over and beyond the scope of the majority. Although much can be discussed here, in this short article I briefly touch on a couple of underlying premises that will facilitate an easy and effective ability to experience the art of conscious detachment, as well as demystify the myth and hopefully make it inviting, stimulating and do-able to more people. So, let’s take a practical look at this metaphysical state!
Meditation, for many, has a spiritual connotation to it, which can put a lot of people off, as they feel they do not fit into this category. The good news is that the art of conscious detachment is not subjective to whether one is actively spiritual or not. Whilst the New Age movement has done much to promote meditation as a tool for those on a spiritual path, it is also very simply a way of life, as can be witnessed in Indian and Eastern cultures, where people grow up with this as a daily practise.
Now, many people who attempt meditating for the first time, may give up pretty soon because the art of detachment cannot be approached cognitively. Meditation is a paradox, in that it is a state that is achieved through the mind and yet it is not of the mind. It is indeed a cultivated art to reach a state of being in conscious detachment. The challenge come to those who meditate, whether a novice or a veteran, because the second one attempts to empty the mind, is exactly the moment that the monkey mind begins to chatter very loudly and incessantly. Sounds familiar? J Even with regular practise this can still occur, however, it does become easier to seduce the mental mind into releasing its vice-like grip, with practise and regularity, which facilitates the increased experience of conscious detachment.
One of the easiest, quickest and most effective ways to experience this cessation of mind chatter is through something that every human being on this planet does. BREATHING! It is something we all already do in order to stay alive in our physical bodies. Breathing is a built-in reflex, automatically controlled for the most part by the brain. However, it is also one of the few biological functions that we are able to control consciously, within limits. When done with control or focus, a very particular shift occurs, not only in the body but across the board.
In Hatha Yoga, a primary principle is: Where awareness goes, energy glows and where energy flows, awareness goes. A way in which this can be experienced is that with focus on the breath, everything seems to slow down and yet expand simultaneously. Almost like when zooming out with a telescopic lens, one is afforded a view of a bigger picture. When we zoom out by focusing on the breath, the mental mind eases its grip on our awareness and more energy flows in. This creates a greater sense of detachment.
Another side-effect of controlled breathing is that it impacts on hormones which control body metabolism and functionality by carrying signals to and from the brain. For example, controlled breathing is effective for calming nerves or anxiety, as it sends a message to the brain that all is well and to lower adrenaline rush and heart rate.
The way a habit is formed and programmed in the brain is through repetition, which forms new synapses in the brain. Naturally the more you repeat something, the quicker and more automated it becomes. So, with regular repetitive practise neural pathways can be created and reinforced to support and stimulate the state of conscious detachment. Now, this does not have to be a long laborious process or set in stone. So start small – remember to break down the elephant into smaller pieces, as this makes for easier handling.
Sitting down and expecting to know how to experience deep meditation the first time, is setting the bar a bit high and causes unnecessary pressure. If you choose to begin with half a minute of conscious breathing every day, very shortly you will notice how much easier it happens on its own. At first don’t be too concerned with the when and how. Just do it when it pops up into your thoughts and you can also ask yourself to remember to prompt you. Sounds crazy perhaps, but it works. Why not try it?
So, no need to go and sit for hours on end in a dark silent room. Increase the length of time to find your own comfortable routine. A hint: if you feel as if you are no longer getting anything out of the time you spend, try changing the routine, environment and length of time. Just as everyday is different, so will be the quality and time of your meditation, which can be influenced by physical, emotional and environmental factors. Energy is in constant state of flux and as an Energy Being, so are you.
The regular practice of the art of conscious detachment contributes through controlled breathing leads to an increased sense of overall well-being. This is now more widely acknowledged, in particular by the medical world. Some benefits experienced can be: relaxation, improved energy levels, better circulation, restful sleep, reduced medicinal side-effects, more joy, ability to control anxiety, increased appetite, greater sense of peace/connectedness, etc
Now for what reason, would you not choose to have some of this?
Many Blissings.
Trilby
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Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!
©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.
Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.
by Breakthrough Savvy - Trilby Johnson | Abundance, Alternative Therapy, Author, Awareness, Be Happy, Behaviour, Beliefs, Books, Choice, Coaching, Decision Making, Emotions, Freedom, Happiness, How to accept myself for who I am, Inspiration, Joy, Law of Attraction, Life, Mindset, Personal Development, Self-Worth, Success, Take action, Uncategorized, Well-Being, Words |
Did you know that public speaking is one of the most frequent and strongest fears that people have? I used to be one of them and here is what I learned. My fears stemmed from memories of numerous failed and embarrassing class speeches that had gone horribly wrong. Additionally, I grew up believing that what I had to say was not interesting anyway. Plus, I hated confrontation and public speaking was the worst case scenario. Can you relate to any of this?
Consequently, for many years I would do everything I could to avoid public speaking in any form and this meant even avoiding speaking up for myself. For a long time, I denied my inner voice that was inviting me to challenge these beliefs and to stand up and speak out fearlessly!
Don’t get me wrong. I did find many creative and ‘safe’ ways of expressing myself. Unwittingly, they have helped me to build my confidence, hone my expertise and most importantly stand in my authority and explore what I am really good at and enjoy. The advent of social media, podcasts, tele-summits, blogging and self-publishing have all contributed greatly to my ‘coaching’.
A key to effective problem solving I have found – and one that addresses all aspects of an issue – is to never face a problem head on! This can create huge resistance and amplifies feelings of frustration and overwhelm and discouragement. For example, if you are driving from A to Z and on the way there is a major road block, you would look for alternative routes and ways to get there, right? Looking for alternatives and solutions is a great way to solve problems and allows other possibilities to show up, which you may not of thought of initially. So what this advent did for me, was that I was actually learning to stand up and speak out, without seeing it as public speaking! This helped removed the fear factor and look at things from a different perspective.
It’s taken many years to finally break through this pattern of fear and shift my mindset around public speaking. Funnily enough, I realized this fully when I recently gave a talk at my local library’s ‘Author’s Evening’ to introduce my book ‘FEARLESSLY ALONE‘ and talk about what had motivated me and why. Was I nervous? You bet! In fact, unusually so. Because this time I was presenting something that was important to me – it wasn’t like those classroom speeches where I spoke about someone else’s ideas – this was about issues that were close to my heart and I felt extremely vulnerable. Yet, I wanted to be able to stand up and speak out fearlessly, even if others were challenging me and didn’t agree. I wanted to present my ideas without being confrontational and yet inspire food for thought and challenge old concepts. And I did just that!
You see, I knew my material well. It was a part of me and my life experience. I was my resource library. To create the mindset I wanted, I looked at all the beliefs that surfaced and I shifted each and every one of them. I also created those I would need as a positive back up – confidence, self-worth, awareness, humour and being willing to be vulnerable. I was able to transmute the fear of judgement of others and the need to be wrong or right. I was there to express my interesting point of view, to offer food for thought and to create connection with those whom my information could support.
More importantly, all the previous online ‘training’ had been preparing me for this moment and as I took action, even feeling really nervous, I was able to connect to that place within where I know who I am and believe in myself. It was such a wonderful and empowering experience! So much so, that it has ignited a burning desire to stand up and speak out fearlessly more often. Who would have thought this was possible? Certainly not that shy and unhappy school girl from way back. It took me six years to manifest this evening and prepare myself mentally and emotionally and spiritually. It all began a long time ago, when my Heart’s Knowing whispered to me, “You can do it!”… and so can you!
Some steps you can take towards standing up and speaking out fearlessly are:
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Dare to believe in your dreams, no matter how silly or far away they may seem.
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Ask and be willing to receive.
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Take the baby steps and actions that come with ease to you.
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Change direction as required without losing sight of your destination.
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Build a mindset with beliefs that support your growth and that feel good along the way.
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Trust that any thing is possible and look for opportunities!
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Believe in yourself!
In Light and Appreciation
Trilby
Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!
©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.
Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.
It’s possible to learn how to manage anger by understanding the energy dynamic of this emotion better and changing perspective so that there is a shift in consciousness.