There’s so much emphasis around ‘gratitude’ and how important it is if you want to be successful and fulfilled. So what happens when it seems a big ask to find something to be grateful for or about?
While being grateful is something we can all probably aspire to be more of, for many years I admit – I struggled to feel gratitude. It’s not that I didn’t want to be grateful – I did – however, keeping with my own integrity and honesty, I knew I wasn’t there yet! And quite frankly, faking it until I made it, wasn’t working for me either.
This often left me confused and feeling guilty – was there something wrong with me that I couldn’t feel gratitude for everything and all of the time? I was in a transformational pickle and for some time did not know which way to turn! Have you ever felt like this and wondered what’s going on or how to change it?
Quite simply, as the individual you are, the way in which you experience events and gratitude, is totally exclusive to you. So when presented with a new concept, it’s up to you to find the doorway in. Here are some of clues I followed that helped me to break through into gratitude, in a way that felt genuine and empowering.
1. Define Gratitude
Very often, due to indoctrination and socialization, you can get pulled into the definition of the ‘group consciousness’ around different concepts. Gratitude, is simply one example. So what does gratitude mean for you?
As humans, there is a tendency to want to classify information. For the most part, the linguistic or language meaning is used, as a form of creating easier understanding and cognitive cohesion. On the surface this works. However, this only addresses the mental aspects of definitions. There is another level of definition, commonly called semantics, or in other words, meaning. Take a look at what’s underneath the gratitude.
The way the brain stores data is very much linked to the emotional charge of the events in your life. When strong emotions are involved, then defining gratitude becomes a whole different kettle of fish. If you were to stop and imagine yourself being grateful, what would that look like, feel like, sound like to you? Follow these clues. I suggest one way of how, in point two.
2. Feel Your Way
Trust your feelings because they are your compass. If even feeling gratitude feels off, then all it is showing you, is that you haven’t yet found your way. Often there is a tendency to judge this as right or wrong, which can create a wedge between where you are and feeling gratitude. This is the reason that defining what gratitude embodies for you is essential, otherwise it simply will not stick and keeps you stuck.
If you feel that gratitude means giving up, faking it, lying to yourself, making another part of you feel wrong and it’s greedy to ask for more – then you will sabotage yourself in some way. It’s important to look at all the aspects that go into an attitude of gratitude – for you. And when along the way, it feels off for you, keep going and ask for clarity as you move forward. Feel your way – it’s your best bet!
3. Use Manners
Your words matter! They really do. Do you consciously say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when you want or receive something? This may appear an ‘old fashioned’ way of doing things, however, I am a firm believer in ‘old wisdom’.
The way you are speaking to others, is an outward reflection of how you speak to yourself – it shows what kind of a mind-map you have. Everything is within and this includes the capacity to gift and receive – and the code words to access these states are ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.
As a child, I was taught that if I wanted something, to ask and say ‘please’. And when I received something, to say ‘thank you’. Only much later as an adult did I observe, that when I consciously applied these to my intentions and desires, there was a distinct shift in the energy dynamic. Almost as if the Universe stopped and paid attention to what I was going to say and do.
Using manners helps to cultivate a ‘walk the talk’ behaviour! When I use my manners, I am acknowledging the divine aspect within myself and my capacity to co-create with Life itself. I am honouring my Self. This allows more ease and joy and a feeling of being ‘great-full’.
4. Make your Life a Gratitude Journal
A very powerful and practical way to create the possibility of breaking through into gratitude in my experience, is with a gratitude journal. I found it really helpful to focus on writing down things I was grateful for. It helped me to count my blessings and give them form. However, please don’t let keeping a journal be the end result. It’s the starting point! Apply this ‘gratitude’ in your daily life and interactions and communications with others.
In my personal experience, to fully integrate a mindset, takes conscious direction and frequent implementation. This is about applying mental and often abstract concepts with focus daily to create a ‘habit of gratitude’. This helped me to move through the struggle and meet gratitude in a pragmatic and tangible way that worked for me. And so can you!
Remember, gratitude is a process and as such, you simply cannot force your way into it. By connecting to the essence of what gratitude feels like for you, then you will have your unique form of gratitude. You do this by systematically assessing your feelings and observing what comes up for you.
Adjust. Align. Choose.
As you move forward with each step you are feeling your way and breaking through into gratitude.
Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Mentor and Metaphysical Intuitive, Best-Selling Author and Speaker. Clients hire her to stop struggling and move beyond limitation. Trilby assists in creating the new energetic pathways that empowers and assists in resolving core issues.
Have you ever noticed how you are just cruising along and ticking off those things on your to-do-list – whether for your business or your personal affairs – and you are feeling really good and in cruise mode – when suddenly, it’s like a trap door opens up beneath your feet and you fall into the black abyss? Yet again! Almost as if you had made no progress at all. I know, right! It can be extremely frustrating and disheartening to say the least, even when you can say it happens less often. This is what happened to me recently. Let me explain!
There I was, toodling along in creative mode, feeling really excited and filled with a wonderful sense of accomplishment. I had completed writing for two new projects – my new book ‘Fearlessly Alone’ and a collaborative project. Phew! (Which is the reason I hadn’t written any blogs in a while and I had wanted to stay totally focused on getting these done.) Now, I found myself suddenly with heaps of more time on my hands, as you do when you complete a big project and are working to a deadline. There was a lot of empty space – to enjoy and for new stuff to come in. And it did! Some really great and easy new stuff and some not so new stuff, obviously still hidden in the dark recesses of my subconscious and that needed to be looked at in a new way. And yes, ouch that hurt!
What really intrigues me when it comes to Awareness, is that being ‘aware’ enables me to access pools of information all of the time. This is a relief to the perfectionist in me, because it means I don’t have to learn everything – all I have do is tune in to my Awareness and allow that specific information to show up. Of course this attitude means I have to give up the need to control every single little aspect of everything. All of which is fueled by a fear of failure. Now, I am not going to lie and say that this always runs smoothly. Cause just like those little emoticons that pop up on your screen, when strong emotions are at play, it can make for a rocky day. So it helps me to have a strategy for firstly coping and then resolving. Sounds good, doesn’t it! And so how can this hurt, you may be wondering?
A while ago, I signed-up for breakthrough session with a coach whose work I have participated in and whose expertise I respect and admire. So I was looking forward to the 30 minutes conversation and hoping for some more clarity around a specific issue. You know, one of those areas in my life where I still felt like I ‘had to work on myself’. It was not five minutes into the call and conversation, when my mood took a sharp nose-dive and it felt like I was floundering. By the end of the call, I hung up feeling really down in the dumps and filled with doubt. What had happened?! Where had my sense of inner calm and accomplishment vanished to? Allow me to share.
Just like many people, I have my ‘down’ moments and experience feelings of doubt, fear, anger at times – it is part of the human experience. Thank goodness though, that I have the strategy that I mentioned earlier above, because here Life had presented me with an opportunity to apply it – take it for another test run. In other words, a curve ball. I was faced with an opportunity to grow. I knew there was something positive and insightful to take away from this situation and that would reveal to me, my inner workings and how they were derailing me and looking for fine-tuning. Whereas previously, these kinds of moments would last for days, if not weeks or months and become situations, nowadays I am happy to say that whilst they hurt in the moment, they no longer lasted very long anymore. The highs and the lows are becoming more harmonious!
Now, if you don’t yet know me or my story, then I want to share that ‘walking my talk’ is an essential and practical part of how I choose to experience Being Me. It is also an important part of the ‘know how’ that I teach, about how to move away from overwhelm and stress and move into a place of being able to make choices calmly and confidently in daily life. Fortunately, I had recorded the conversation, so I could go back and listen. I was curious as to what had triggered this downward emotional spike and so I listened to the replay. And I got real clear on the reason that it felt Ouch, That Hurt!
What was evident to me when listening back over the conversation, was how, after the first few minutes, the way I spoke about myself and my situation came from a place of victim mentality and focus. It was a real eye opener for me, to listen to the way in which I spoke about my situation during this call and what I had focused on. Furthermore, I had doubted myself and where I was at on my timeline. I had allowed myself to become distracted! No wonder my feelings had plummeted! And thank goodness they had. My inner alert system is working well. I had to listen to the replay for a third time – this time with conscious detachment – before I felt my inner calm and energy once again. It no longer hurt!
What did I take away from this experience?
This served as such a wonderful wake-up call for me and the realizations that there are still parts within myself that may feel afraid and full of doubts.
By choosing to love these parts of myself and to thank them for showing me that my journey of knowing myself unfolds more each day in remarkable ways, I was able to raise my vibration again to a place of feeling good.
This incident proved to be a powerful reminder to honour and follow my own Inner Authority, no matter what or who I was talking to.
Respecting and admiring another person does not mean disregarding what I know does or does not work for me.
I am the one who picks up the tab and so I figure that allows me to choose and enjoy the contrast of experiences that springs up and seems appropriate for me.
In the moment I was able to be grateful for and release the Ouch, that hurt and turn it into a Yay, I am on my way!
Every situation is an opportunity to take stock of where I am on my vibrational scale of inner balance, because what is within is reflected without.
I am so grateful for this experience that brought me greater understanding of myself!
Can you identify an area or situation in your life where you felt down or heavy and then something wonderful emerged later on? Where you turned your Ouch that hurt, into a Yay! ? Choose to believe that not only does Life have your back – you do as well! Re-member that you are the vital part of your Equation.
In Light and Appreciation Trilby
Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
It has often been said that what is true is often cloaked in simplicity. For many a human mind, if it’s too easy or simple, it cannot be true. An interesting belief that ripples out to manifest this as a Truth.
Magic is much the same. In attempting to believe or understand Magic, the cognitive mind has created a complicated mystery. If the magical event is not earth shattering accompanied by fire works, many discount it as mediocre and insignificant.
I choose to believe that Magic is all around us all of the time and I enjoy observing how this shows up in my life. Let me share.
A few days ago, my vacuum cleaner packed up. So off I went back to the store to exchange it. This has been the third vacuum cleaner that I have had to return, although not the same make. I mention this because when I got to the store, they were really suspicion as to how come this was the third exchange I was requesting. I stayed really focused and light and did not allow myself to be drawn into the red tape drama. Finally they said I could exchange the item or get a refund. Choosing an exchange item, off I went to pick up a new vacuum cleaner. I was limited by the price and so had to choose another model. Here’s how the magic worked ………………..
– I got to purchase a new and more powerful vacuum cleaner
– I got to save money because the new item was cheaper than the value I had available
– I got to saved an extra $20 because the new item was on sale
– AND although the sale has ended the day before, the vendor gave me the sales price
– I received a credit note which enabled me to purchase items that I had on my wish list.
I left the store with a big grin on my face and my Heart filled with De-Light, knowing that I had just experienced a magical moment, that had been a gift to my asking. Simply MagiC!
I was in the Zone, connected and receiving. It felt wonderful and yes, it defied logic. How cool is that?
Magic is around everywhere, all of the time. As energy follows Awareness, becoming and being aware of the magic that is, enlivens it and gives it form. It’s not by accident that it is called a Wish List.
Here’s to the Magic that makes Wishes true! May you enjoy your Creations.
Trilby Johnson is an Intuitive Well-Being Facilitator and the Founder of Connective Embodiment(TM), a Radio Host and a distributor for Natural Action Structured Water Units.