5 Ways to Beat Loneliness

5 Ways to Beat Loneliness

by | Awareness, Balance, Be Happy, Behaviour, Beliefs, Books, Emotions, Freedom, Happiness, Health, How to accept myself for who I am, Meditation, Mindset, Personal Development, Relationship, Self-Worth, Success, Well-Being | 4 comments

5 ways to beat lonelinessHave you ever felt lonely?

Odds are that you have, at some point or other in your life. For some, this is a temporary and transient emotion that comes and goes. For others, feeling lonely can be a more permanent and unwanted visitor, that has far outstayed its welcome.

For instance, recent reports from Help Lines for those in need, show an increased number of calls, in particular during or around public holidays, from both people in relationships as well as those living alone.

Loneliness doesn’t discriminate!

Emotions are powerful players in our lives and depending on what and how they make us feel, are considered either friends or foes. Within our societies, cultures and gender roles, we become conditioned early on about what type of emotional behaviour is or isn’t acceptable. Yet, simultaneously, emotions are extremely personal and influenced by an individual’s inner relationship and sensibilities and personality types, such as introverts and extroverts.

Regardless of your personality type, however, it’s important and handy to know what to do and how to respond when loneliness begins to spread its fingers across our hearts and minds, to taint our lives in sad, dull and uncomfortable colours.

Loneliness has the power to disempower us so deeply in the most profound corners of our lives.

I know this because I used to feel constantly lonely, isolated, and totally useless. So, I want to share 5 ways to beat loneliness, that can work for you too!

Here are 5 Ways to Beat Loneliness:

 

1. Admit How You are Feeling.

This may seem counterproductive at first because it can stir up fear. The fear of being consumed by feeling lonely. The fact of the matter, however, is that until you acknowledge what you feel, you are a slave to it. Many people feel ashamed or guilty to admit that they feel lonely, because of what it may imply. There is a fear that by admitting to something, it makes it true. This is a falsehood!

By admitting what it is you are feeling, you take back your power and can be objective about what’s really going on.

What you won’t own, enslaves you!

 

2. Give Your Loneliness A Form.

Strong emotions can often make us feel irrational. So, a great way to begin to ‘contain the situation’ in a safe environment and way, is by giving loneliness a form. For example, when you feel lonely, give it a scale of intensity from 1 -10. This is helpful, as it creates a space of detachment from the feeling, while still admitting it exists.

Each time you give a form to your loneliness helps you to see the intensity of your loneliness in a constructive way.

Remember that your emotions are real in your mind/brain and by giving them a form, as in a number, helps you to take a step back and be able to be detached in a healthy way.

 

3. Dig Deep.

The last thing you probably want to do when it comes to loneliness, is to dig deeper right? That’s fear – False Evidence Appearing Real – talking! And boy, it can feel scary feeling lonely. So, to beat this fear, dig deep and explore what is underneath the feeling of loneliness.

Make a list of all the feelings and thoughts that come to mind, no matter what they are. And practice makes progress, so do this often.

You can only change what you are willing to confront. Healing comes through feeling.

Which brings me to the next key point.

 

4. Don’t Shoot the Messenger.

Loneliness, like all emotions, brings a message with it. Humans, after all, are highly complex individuals. We are also creatures of habit and so it’s important to find out what is underneath our emotions. There is always a belief system that is attached to an emotional reaction. It’s part of our social, cultural and gender upbringing.

Ask yourself, “what is making me feel lonely?” and explore what comes up. This may sound challenging and requires a good dose of being honest with yourself in a gentle yet rigorous way.

The messenger is you, telling you more about yourself. Stop and listen and you will find that with more clarity the loneliness very often fades into the background and the true issue can be resolved, bringing peace of mind and calm.

 

5. Change Your Emotional Map.

Did you know that for the brain, all behaviours and emotions are mini programmes running the show? Otherwise called habits. The above keys are an outline on how to change your internal and emotional map. When you do this, your external map will begin to match up.

Allow yourself to stop and ask for directions on the way. You don’t have to beat loneliness on your own. I know from personal experience, that finding the help you need is key to beating loneliness.

Add pit stops of support to your emotional map as you progress and look for new destinations.

I hope you enjoy these 5 ways to beat loneliness. If you would like more tips on how to beat loneliness effectively, my book FEARLESSLY ALONE takes an in depth look at what makes us feel lonely and really afraid and how to break free and find your happy no matter what!

Many Blissings,

Trilby.

 
 
 
 

Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Healer and Mentor, Best Selling Author and Speaker. She offers her clients practical effective life skills and facilitates an energetic inner shift that empowers them to heal by alleviating anxiety, relieving psycho-emotional pain and reducing stress levels in their lives, relationships, finances, health, mindset and soul connection.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment 

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

A Prescription for Meditation

A Prescription for Meditation

by | Alternative Therapy, Authentic, Awareness, Consciousness, Meditation, NLP, Personal Development, Self-Worth, Uncategorized | 0 comments

With the resurgence of the practice of meditation into my life, through facilitating meditation classes and requests from clients seeking stress release and health improvement, I was amazed when looking up the definition of meditation online, to come across the medical dictionary interpretation.

Here it quite clearly states: Meditation can be used with other forms of medical treatment and is an important complementary therapy for both the treatment and prevention of many stress-related conditions. Regular meditation can reduce the number of symptoms experienced by patients with a wide range of illnesses and disorders. Based upon clinical evidence as well as theoretical understanding, meditation is considered to be one of the better therapies for panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, substance dependence and abuse, ulcers, colitis, chronic pain, psoriasis, and dysthymic disorder. It is considered to be a valuable adjunctive therapy for moderate hypertension (high blood pressure), prevention of cardiac arrest (heart attack), prevention of atherosclerosis (hardening of arteries), arthritis (including fibromyalgia), cancer, insomnia, migraine, and prevention of stroke. Meditation may also be a valuable complementary therapy for allergies and asthma because of the role stress plays in these conditions. Meditative practices have been reported to improve function or reduce symptoms in patients with some neurological disorders as well. These include people with Parkinson’s disease, people who experience fatigue with multiple sclerosis, and people with epilepsy who are resistant to standard treatment.

I don’t know about you, however in all the years that I have sought medical advice, not one GP ever suggested meditation and its benefits. In fact, I was left with the distinct impression that many in the medical professions considered, and still do, meditation to be total rubbish. 

Researching more online, I was pleasantly surprised to find countless mention of meditation and its amazing and renowned benefits.  So why is it that those in the medical profession are not prescribing meditation more often? I am not advocating for the abolition of medication, however, what about supplementing and complimenting it with meditation sessions?

I know that regular meditation, as in daily, consciously reconnects us with ourself. It is a way of being present. Meditation is so much a part of my life now, that I can hardly remember what it was like before ……….. if there ever was a before.

As an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, I encourage you to take up meditation and next time your doctor writes you a prescription, why not ask him to prescribe meditation as well?

In fact, why wait until you have to see a doctor, start meditation today. I am sure that wherever you find yourself, there is a group that runs meetings, or write down your own meditation and record your own voice speaking it.  I offer sessions via Phone or Skype, so the possibilities are infinite.

What if meditating today, will keep the doctor away? I know where I choose to invest my money and time. What about you?

Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

3 Self-Esteem Boosters

3 Self-Esteem Boosters

by | Abundance, Be Happy, Behaviour, Beliefs, How to accept myself for who I am, Master Your Life, Mindset, NLP, Personal Development, Quantum Healing, Relationship, Self-Actualization, Self-Worth, Spirituality | 6 comments

Are you someone who suffers from low self-esteem? Then I have great news for you! No matter what you have believed up until this moment, it’s possible to change it. Through the right positive focus and resolving some limiting beliefs and core patterns, you can start right now, here today and feel better about yourself and build a positive self-esteem.

Self-Esteem is the regard in which you hold yourself. A lot is learned from parents, education, culture and intuition. Self-Esteem, in my experience, is very much a question about connection on a physical, mental, emotional and soul level. It’s first and foremost about the connection you have with and to yourself – how you think about and feel about yourself and the manner in which you talk to and about yourself. It’s all about you in fact!

For many years, I struggled with low self-esteem, so I know how horrible this feels. In fact, I used to hate myself and my life was miserable because of these feelings. I believed what others had told me about myself, even although it hurt terribly. What hurt so much, was that I knew deep down inside that all of that simply wasn’t true – and yet I let myself down. Until I found another and new way.

For me to get from that place of not liking or loving myself at all, to where I cultivated a level of high self-esteem, took a while plus a lot of honest introspection. So today, I want to share with you, 3 of the elements that I consciously chose to add to and cultivate in my life, that helped me to boost a high and healthy sense of self-esteem. Here’s what I learned.

1. Element of Self-Love

Having been someone who didn’t love myself very much, I can guarantee you that Loving Yourself is the most important thing you will even do. Not only for yourself – also for the other people in your life.

Then, it’s about how you relate to others in ways that either support or disempower your level of Self-Esteem Boosters. The reason is that, when you truly love yourself and allow yourself to be who you truly are – the good, the bad, the ugly and all the other bits – you are a Gift! You can be confident. You can let go of the doubt, guilt and shame – all of which were probably not yours to begin with.

It took me a long time – through bouts of depression, abusive relationships and situations, suicidal tendencies and many low and dark moments – until I realized that all I really wanted, was to love myself.

So please give your permission today, if you are not yet there, to LOVE YOURSELF. It is soooo important! And only you can take the first step and continuously move forward.

Self-Esteem Boosters is a by-product of loving yourself and not vice-versa! So make sure your are not missing out on this crucial self-esteem booster.

2. Element of Worth

I have worked with so many people, who believe that they are not enough. I used to be one of them. They believe that if they try harder or hard enough, if they give more, if they behave in a certain way, that finally they will be enough … and be worthy of other people’s praise, love, approval, or something else.

I have witnessed it and felt it myself – the huge sense of relief that comes with finally accepting and knowing that I am enough already. That I am worthy. And with this, the knowing comes that we all have worth and are worthy!!!

There is nothing to prove, despite that so many of us have been duped into believing it is something to be achieved or earned. The problems arise when we start to doubt or are led astray by other’s opinions and when we think that we have to DO something to Be Enough. We are enough . . . evident in the fact that Life itself has given us Life. We are enough!

So please, choose to know that you are worthy. This choice to know that you are worth yourself will add and Self-Esteem Boosters beyond measure.

3. Element of Safety

This may surprise many people – I know it did me, when I realized that not feeling safe had a huge impact on my sense of Self-Esteem Boosters. Many of us are so afraid of the judgement of others. Perhaps even more so and subconsciously, we are afraid of our own judgement. I don’t know about you, but I have often been my harshest and most unforgiving critic!

I can remember the acute sense of relief I experienced when I finally let go of judging myself and wanting to control everything … aahhhhh … it was amazing! I began to feel safe.

When you don’t feel safe, worthy, nor love yourself, these mindsets create a gravitational pull to everything ‘out there’ that matches these lower vibes of self-esteem. Life will serve up the very things you often fear, as a sign post of your security vibe. Life will show you often paradoxically where you need to boost levels of love, worth and safety.

When you feel safe, you feel okay much of the time – even when you make mistakes. It feels safe even when you don’t always know exactly what to do, all of the time. It feels safe for you to be You – with or without other people’s approval.

Safety, is an inner state of being. Yes, you can live in a dangerous places – I’ve done that – and even in these situations, you can still feel safe. You can begin by claiming and affirming

I love myself,

I am enough

I am worthy,

I am always safe!

Even if at first you don’t quite believe or feel it completely. Claiming and declaring these will boost your self-esteem no end.

This does not mean there will not be days that are difficult nor that you will not have dips in your Self-Esteem Boosters. Simply no longer feed them and soon you will find yourself bouncing back. You will begin to enjoy the benefits of high self-esteem like feeling more confident, happier, healthier and successful in your daily endeavours.

YOU are your most priceless and valuable commodity! Believe in yourself and your self-esteem will follow. Actively boost yours daily with thoughts, words and actions of love, worth and safety that will nurture a healthy and loving connection and web of self-esteem. This is not to be confused with arrogance!

Hold yourself in esteem – this will help you in experiencing your purpose.

Many Blissings

Trilby

____________________________________________________________________

Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Mentor and Metaphysical Intuitive, Best-Selling Author and Speaker. Her clients hire her to stop struggling and feeling stuck in body, mind, emotion and soul and move beyond limitation into wisdom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health, mindset and soul connection. Trilby assists in creating new energetic pathways that empowers and assists in resolving core issues.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment if you are ready for breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

If money talked… what would it say?

If money talked… what would it say?

by | Abundance, Beliefs, Emotions, Mindset, Money, Question, Relationship, Self-Worth, Social Marketing, Spirituality, Value | 20 comments

If money talkedWhen it comes to being an expert in NOT having money, that used to be me! I remember so much of it really clearly. Today, I can also truly say that I wouldn’t change a thing and I learned so much about myself that now enriches my life. It’s certainly wasn’t always this way and like so many people, I felt like a fly caught in the financial web of beliefs around money – helpless, not enough, disempowered and struggling to survive.

I know what it’s like to be broke and broken.

I know what it’s like to lay sleepless worrying about how to pay for food and rent.

I know what it’s like to have a well paid job and yet feel empty inside.

I know what it’s like to be so deep in debt that all I work to earn goes to repayments.

I know what it’s like to want more money and yet feel it’s inaccessible in sufficient quantities.

I know what it’s like to pay for numerous classes on ‘how to manifest more money’ and still come up empty handed despite all the expert advice.

I know how it feels to be working my butt off and yet be stuck up against a wall financially and not see any way out.

I know what it’s like to feel totally trapped and at the mercy of my finances.

I know how it feels to be ashamed not to have the money to socialize at all and the pain of seeing people drop out of my life like flies, to be left alone and penniless.

I know how it feels to think that perhaps the only solution is suicide, because dead people don’t have to pay bills or need money.

Up until 5 years ago, this used to be my financial lifestyle and beliefs. It was a horrible and impoverished way to live. And yet in some strange and magical way, it proved to be my road to freedom. When I finally stopped and decided to have a heart to heart conversation with money, I was blown away.

I sat down to have a necessary conversation with Money and to listen to its side of the story. I did this in a contemplative state and invited money in for a talk and was open to receive its answers intuitively. This allowed money to have a shape and form of it’s choosing, beyond my past perception of it. And this talk set us both free!

At first, I felt a little bit crazy talking to money like this, because it was such unfamiliar behaviour and mindset. However, I also felt a deep sense of relief and ease – a stark contrast to the bottomless struggle I had been experiencing around money and budget up until then. So I let go and consciously trusted the process. Here are a few things that Money shared with me:

1. Money is enslaved

One of the first things that money shared with me, was that it had become enslaved to the human mindset and was being used incorrectly. It is used as a form of power over others rather than the tool of exchange and value that it wants to be.

The dominant beliefs that are held about money and what it can or cannot be used for, holds it prisoner. Although it can afford and offer us so much more, most of us are not able to receive this and this is reinforced by the judgement of those that do.

2. Money is a tool of empowerment

Money wants to be seen as a tool of empowerment. As a consumer, did you know that your power lies in where you spend your money? Consumer marketing is rigged in such a way that will keep you buying stuff you don’t need. This is how corporations get away with unethical behaviour and how consumers keep on buying products that are harmful in the long run. Buy consciously and use your buying power wisely. This is one way of being a steward of income and the relationship becomes one of mutual empowerment and servitude.

3. Money likes a budget

One way that money feels more visible is through the use of a budget. A budget gives form and shape to money. No matter how much money is available, part of conscious buying is keeping an eye on where money is going and what it is used for. So much income is wasted and is spent on unnecessary things. Remember point 2 about buying wisely – well having a budget supports this.

Money wants to encourage the use of a budget as a tool for materializing abundance rather than it’s more current perception of curbing spending. Using a budget can help to really see where and how money is spent and to change these patterns and create expansion.

4. Money is a neutral wealth contributor

There is an intrinsic value to money that is mostly overlooked and misunderstood. Money, when unshackled from the prejudice placed on it through misguided beliefs, can contribute to wealth in ways that benefits all parties. It is waiting to be of service. Many successful business entrepreneurs understand this principle intuitively and know how to get the best out of their buck.

The points above are just a few of the messages that I got from conversing with Money. It can sound crazy and then again, what is true often seems crazier than fiction. I invite you to sit down and initiate a necessary conversation with your money and have a budget in place. See what shows up for you.

When used as an extension of one’s self, money becomes a tool of personal empowerment and a way to nurture compassion and support for everyone, rather than a means to manipulate from greed, lack and separation.

For most of us, money is extremely emotional and impacts our lives in huges ways. Once we are able to find a place of relaxed calmness and really listen – above and beyond the emotions which are generally associated to indoctrinated judgements – it’s possible to experience money and abundance in a totally fresh way.

Here’s to having amazing, expansive and necessary conversations with money, on your own terms.

Many Blissings.
Trilby x

Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Mentor and Metaphysical Intuitive, Best-Selling Author and Speaker. Her clients hire her to stop struggling and feeling stuck in body, mind, emotion and soul and move beyond limitation into wisdom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health, mindset and soul connection. Trilby assists in creating new energetic pathways that empowers and assists in resolving core issues.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment if you are ready for breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom when it comes to your abundance!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

Relationships as Teachers

Relationships as Teachers

by | Be Happy, Beliefs, Relationship, Self-Worth, Spirituality | 12 comments

Relationships as Teachers

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Everything you experience in your life, is in relation to something or someone else. It is in many ways the crux with which you define your individuality and from which you will draw on as reference points. Much of our social behaviour is shaped by and through the relationships we have or do not have and how these impact on our sense of self.

Some relationships are easily identifiable and recognizable, such as family, spouses, children, colleagues, etc and in earlier days, any diverse forms of these were not accepted within society. Even today for instance, many struggle to accept same sex relationships as valid although happily attitudes are changing.

Education and information play a huge role in how we regards and manage our own relationships. So it stands to reason that if the eduction and information is biased or misguiding, then this will impact on the relationships we have, taking them at face value.

There are many more types relationships however than the mainstream ones identified and accepted. There is the relationship we have first and foremost with ourselves. What kind of a relationship do you enjoy with yourself? Is it a happy and healthy one? Is it a judgemental one? Is it one where you don’t feel you are worthy or good enough? All of these points of views are insights into the quality of relating that you have with yourself.

This is important to acknowledge, because the quality of relating that you have with yourself informs everything you do – the way you behave towards yourself and others. And also because very often the baseline for this relationship is learned by you from other people. Until you understand how deep this goes, much of your relating will be bases on and influenced by other people’s beliefs and ideology.

For instance, do you associate your emotional states with physical symptoms in your body? When I first experienced depression, I was given medical and psychiatric support, to ease my mind. There was never mention though of the connection between the numbness I felt and the wealth of emotions of anger and sadness that I had repressed for many years. There was no discussion linking the debilitating migraines that I would experience and the relationship these had to the emotional stress I had felt for many years. Thankfully I had a wonderful ally that cut through all the confusion once I began to listen to it… my body.

The human body is in my opinion one of the most sophisticated and advanced pieces of technology we have at our disposal. Through it, we relate to everything – visible and invisible. It is, I have found, an infallible resource, one we learn to tap into and listen to its hidden wisdom. For the most part, we are taught to refer to our mind for information. Whilst effective, this source of information is limited and dependent for the most part on how much information it’s possible to retrieve from memory. In Cognitive pscyhological circles, it’s acknowledged that the subconscious mind is much larger than the conscious part. Yet no mention is made to the way in which our bodies relate to these informations. The subconscious information is often ‘felt’ via the bodies senses and can be overlooked by the mental senses.

This way of relating with energy is my understanding of intuition. However, unless we are aware of the link between say physical pain and your emotions of say stress, depression, illness, we are at a disadvantage to know where to begin to make changes. And this in turn will impact on and have repercussions on all of our outer relationships with ourselves, others and situations. Of course, the same goes for postitive emotions. If you are happy, then the chances of you hanging out with people who are predominantly unhappy, is slim.

For this reason, the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you can have. The extent to which you relate well or not with yourself, will be reflected in all your other relationships and manner of relating. It is how you are connected and go about connecting.

Now perhaps this is obvious to those of you who had a positive and uplifting upbringing. For many however, who did not, this information is important because, once you change and value your relationship to self in positive and uplifting ways, then the majority of your relating and relationships will become a match.

A great place to start is to sit down and identify the qualities that you are looking for in your relationships – with yourself and then others. Set yourself free from the default setting of what a relationship is or supposed to be. Create your own relationship map, then follow that. It will lead you to the kind of relationships you are looking for and want to create. Don’t settle for second best in any relationship, whether personal or professional. Make your relationship with yourself no. 1 … and the best will follow. True love starts at home – in your Heart of Hearts – and You are the key that unlocks the treasure of all relationship in your life.

May you be your own Valentine before any other, so that love may grow strong and true from and through you.

Much love.

Trilby

p.s. You may want to read my blog Don’t Overlook This When it Comes to Intimacy – where I explore the role of intimacy in relationship

Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.