7 Healthier Ways To Manage Anger

7 Healthier Ways To Manage Anger

It’s possible to learn how to manage anger by understanding the energy dynamic of this emotion better and changing perspective so that there is a shift in consciousness.

Anger is usually considered an unsavoury and destructive type of emotion. In other words, unsavoury is a belief that only fuels its often volatile nature. When out of control, angry feelings can escalate into violence and destruction and so frightens us. Yet, anger is an emotion like any other. It is when this emotion is misdirected or impeded that it can build up into something explosive and be expressed in destructive ways.

Many people are uncomfortable and frightened by anger, in a large part due to how we are socialized. Today there are many anger management courses available, which can help teach people how to manage this emotion. When we attempt to stop an emotion for long enough, by suppressing or repressing it, it is like trying to stop a volcano from erupting – eventually, it will blow up.

 

1. Anger is primal

As I wrote in my blog Understanding Your Emotional Makeup about what an emotion is – anger is often considered one of the base emotions. So when we feel threatened or afraid, anger can often be an instinctive reaction in an attempt to safeguard ourselves.

This is often what happens when someone ‘snaps’ or ‘lashes out’. So it’s important to address our personal issues so that there are no pent up emotions that can potentially explode.

 

2. Anger is a secondary emotion

A secondary emotion occurs in response to something else happening first. Even those that apparently ‘fly off the handle’, there is something causing the anger. Now, this doesn’t mean it’s okay to go ballistic, be aggressive or hurt someone.

To get a handle on angry feelings, however, does require self-interrogation and perhaps some time to cool down, if necessary. The particularity about anger is that underneath this secondary feeling, is your personal power and ability to be discerning.

When you are in touch with these aspects, it makes you calmer and self-assured, less liable to allow yourself to be manipulated by others.

 

3. Anger can motivate you

Generally, anger arises when one of your personal values, self-worth or safety is challenged, jeopardized or disrespected. Can you remember a time when someone said something untrue about you? Did you feel angry? That angry feeling is a response to an untruth – a misalignment in the energy – and your barometer to let you know that you are not okay with what is going on. Anger can often empower you to say ‘NO’ and motivate you to take a stand and not let yourself be a doormat. When you are able to manage your anger appropriately, you have the ability to assert your rights in a way that leaves no room for doubt as to your sincerity.

4. Anger is not a sin

Often spiritual people can feel it’s wrong to be angry. As if one excludes the other. Whatever it is you want to call it doesn’t matter.

The point is to be whole and fulfilled, you are going to have to accept and allow all of yourself to be. And that means being alright with the whole spectrum of emotions. None are more important than another if you look at them as messages.

Every emotion is telling you something about yourself so that you can get to know yourself better. And in my opinion the sin lies in not embracing all of you.

 

5. Anger is contagious

By this I mean, that often families and social groups ‘share’ ideologies and these get passed on through education and indoctrination.

Firstly, is the anger yours? Have you asked the question? Until you ask the question you will not know. Often we are walking around with unconscious patterns playing out.

Research has shown that it is possible for us to pick up on other people’s energy and vice versa. If you know you are highly sensitive, an empath, or psychic, then asking this will save you energy and unnecessary stress. Give it a go and see if you notice a difference.

 

6. Transmute the anger

When you are in the grips of primal anger, the quickest way I have found to flick the switch so that you can stay discerning and express yourself appropriately is by focusing on your breathing. Stopping to take a few conscious breaths slows down the parasympathetic nervous system and so your brain stops sending fight or flight signals. I invite you to Destress, Detox, and Relax by getting your free download of my audio tool on conscious breathing.

 

7. Empower yourself through mentoring

If your struggling and stuck in patterns of angry behaviour, don’t hesitate to get support! It’s important to get practical skills that can help you shift your mood and fortunately today, it’s encouraged.

Often anger is a response to a feeling of hopelessness or lack of knowing how to manage something. 

You are not at the mercy of your emotions and if you feel that you are, this is definitely a sign to find a mentor to help you in finding clarity and confidence. There’s always a solution and having an unbiased and professional support system is an important step in managing your angier in a healthier way.

 

As a species, humans have the ability to experience diverse emotions. Anger can be used as a powerful tool of discernment and also the potency to see things through. As with all emotions, it’s not only what we do when feeling them, it’s especially how we do it! When we take charge of managing and expressing our anger constructively, we will begin to find ourselves in a place where we can consider adding a dose of forgiveness.

It takes a conscious choice to manage anger in an empowering healthier way.

 


Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Mentor and Metaphysical Intuitive, Best-Selling Author and Speaker. Her clients hire her to stop struggling and feeling stuck in body, mind, emotion and soul and move beyond limitation into wisdom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health, mindset and soul connection. Trilby assists in creating new energetic pathways that empowers and assists in resolving core issues.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment if you are ready for breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

4 Breakthrough Steps To Gratitude

4 Breakthrough Steps To Gratitude

Breakthrough Steps To GratitudeThere’s so much emphasis around ‘gratitude’ and how important it is if you want to be successful and fulfilled. So what happens when it seems a big ask to find something to be grateful for or about?

While being grateful is something we can all probably aspire to be more of, for many years I admit – I struggled to feel gratitude. It’s not that I didn’t want to be grateful – I did – however, keeping with my own integrity and honesty, I knew I wasn’t there yet! And quite frankly, faking it until I made it, wasn’t working for me either.

This often left me confused and feeling guilty – was there something wrong with me that I couldn’t feel gratitude for everything and all of the time? I was in a transformational pickle and for some time did not know which way to turn! Have you ever felt like this and wondered what’s going on or how to change it?

Quite simply, as the individual you are, the way in which you experience events and gratitude, is totally exclusive to you. So when presented with a new concept, it’s up to you to find the doorway in. Here are some of clues I followed that helped me to break through into gratitude, in a way that felt genuine and empowering.

 

1. Define Gratitude

Very often, due to indoctrination and socialization, you can get pulled into the definition of the ‘group consciousness’ around different concepts. Gratitude, is simply one example. So what does gratitude mean for you?

As humans, there is a tendency to want to classify information. For the most part, the linguistic or language meaning is used, as a form of creating easier understanding and cognitive cohesion. On the surface this works. However, this only addresses the mental aspects of definitions. There is another level of definition, commonly called semantics, or in other words, meaning. Take a look at what’s underneath the gratitude.

The way the brain stores data is very much linked to the emotional charge of the events in your life. When strong emotions are involved, then defining gratitude becomes a whole different kettle of fish. If you were to stop and imagine yourself being grateful, what would that look like, feel like, sound like to you? Follow these clues. I suggest one way of how, in point two.

 

2. Feel Your Way

Trust your feelings because they are your compass. If even feeling gratitude feels off, then all it is showing you, is that you haven’t yet found your way. Often there is a tendency to judge this as right or wrong, which can create a wedge between where you are and feeling gratitude. This is the reason that defining what gratitude embodies for you is essential, otherwise it simply will not stick and keeps you stuck.

If you feel that gratitude means giving up, faking it, lying to yourself, making another part of you feel wrong and it’s greedy to ask for more – then you will sabotage yourself in some way. It’s important to look at all the aspects that go into an attitude of gratitude – for you. And when along the way, it feels off for you, keep going and ask for clarity as you move forward. Feel your way – it’s your best bet!

 

3. Use Manners

Your words matter! They really do. Do you consciously say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when you want or receive something? This may appear an ‘old fashioned’ way of doing things, however, I am a firm believer in ‘old wisdom’.

The way you are speaking to others, is an outward reflection of how you speak to yourself – it shows what kind of a mind-map you have. Everything is within and this includes the capacity to gift and receive – and the code words to access these states are ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.

As a child, I was taught that if I wanted something, to ask and say ‘please’. And when I received something, to say ‘thank you’. Only much later as an adult did I observe, that when I consciously applied these to my intentions and desires, there was a distinct shift in the energy dynamic. Almost as if the Universe stopped and paid attention to what I was going to say and do.

Using manners helps to cultivate a ‘walk the talk’ behaviour! When I use my manners, I am acknowledging the divine aspect within myself and my capacity to co-create with Life itself. I am honouring my Self. This allows more ease and joy and a feeling of being ‘great-full’.

 

4. Make your Life a Gratitude Journal

A very powerful and practical way to create the possibility of breaking through into gratitude in my experience, is with a gratitude journal. I found it really helpful to focus on writing down things I was grateful for. It helped me to count my blessings and give them form. However, please don’t let keeping a journal be the end result. It’s the starting point! Apply this ‘gratitude’ in your daily life and interactions and communications with others.

In my personal experience, to fully integrate a mindset, takes conscious direction and frequent implementation. This is about applying mental and often abstract concepts with focus daily to create a ‘habit of gratitude’. This helped me to move through the struggle and meet gratitude in a pragmatic and tangible way that worked for me. And so can you!

Remember, gratitude is a process and as such, you simply cannot force your way into it. By connecting to the essence of what gratitude feels like for you, then you will have your unique form of gratitude. You do this by systematically assessing your feelings and observing what comes up for you.

 

Adjust. Align. Choose.

 

As you move forward with each step you are feeling your way and breaking through into gratitude.

Many Blissings

Trilby x


Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Mentor and Metaphysical Intuitive, Best-Selling Author and Speaker. Clients hire her to stop struggling and move beyond limitation. Trilby assists in creating the new energetic pathways that empowers and assists in resolving core issues.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment if you are ready for breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

3 Self-Esteem Boosters

3 Self-Esteem Boosters

Are you someone who suffers from low self-esteem? Then I have great news for you! No matter what you have believed up until this moment, it’s possible to change it. Through the right positive focus and resolving some limiting beliefs and core patterns, you can start right now, here today and feel better about yourself and build a positive self-esteem.

Self-Esteem is the regard in which you hold yourself. A lot is learned from parents, education, culture and intuition. Self-Esteem, in my experience, is very much a question about connection on a physical, mental, emotional and soul level. It’s first and foremost about the connection you have with and to yourself – how you think about and feel about yourself and the manner in which you talk to and about yourself. It’s all about you in fact!

For many years, I struggled with low self-esteem, so I know how horrible this feels. In fact, I used to hate myself and my life was miserable because of these feelings. I believed what others had told me about myself, even although it hurt terribly. What hurt so much, was that I knew deep down inside that all of that simply wasn’t true – and yet I let myself down. Until I found another and new way.

For me to get from that place of not liking or loving myself at all, to where I cultivated a level of high self-esteem, took a while plus a lot of honest introspection. So today, I want to share with you, 3 of the elements that I consciously chose to add to and cultivate in my life, that helped me to boost a high and healthy sense of self-esteem. Here’s what I learned.

1. Element of Self-Love

Having been someone who didn’t love myself very much, I can guarantee you that Loving Yourself is the most important thing you will even do. Not only for yourself – also for the other people in your life.

Then, it’s about how you relate to others in ways that either support or disempower your level of Self-Esteem Boosters. The reason is that, when you truly love yourself and allow yourself to be who you truly are – the good, the bad, the ugly and all the other bits – you are a Gift! You can be confident. You can let go of the doubt, guilt and shame – all of which were probably not yours to begin with.

It took me a long time – through bouts of depression, abusive relationships and situations, suicidal tendencies and many low and dark moments – until I realized that all I really wanted, was to love myself.

So please give your permission today, if you are not yet there, to LOVE YOURSELF. It is soooo important! And only you can take the first step and continuously move forward.

Self-Esteem Boosters is a by-product of loving yourself and not vice-versa! So make sure your are not missing out on this crucial self-esteem booster.

2. Element of Worth

I have worked with so many people, who believe that they are not enough. I used to be one of them. They believe that if they try harder or hard enough, if they give more, if they behave in a certain way, that finally they will be enough … and be worthy of other people’s praise, love, approval, or something else.

I have witnessed it and felt it myself – the huge sense of relief that comes with finally accepting and knowing that I am enough already. That I am worthy. And with this, the knowing comes that we all have worth and are worthy!!!

There is nothing to prove, despite that so many of us have been duped into believing it is something to be achieved or earned. The problems arise when we start to doubt or are led astray by other’s opinions and when we think that we have to DO something to Be Enough. We are enough . . . evident in the fact that Life itself has given us Life. We are enough!

So please, choose to know that you are worthy. This choice to know that you are worth yourself will add and Self-Esteem Boosters beyond measure.

3. Element of Safety

This may surprise many people – I know it did me, when I realized that not feeling safe had a huge impact on my sense of Self-Esteem Boosters. Many of us are so afraid of the judgement of others. Perhaps even more so and subconsciously, we are afraid of our own judgement. I don’t know about you, but I have often been my harshest and most unforgiving critic!

I can remember the acute sense of relief I experienced when I finally let go of judging myself and wanting to control everything … aahhhhh … it was amazing! I began to feel safe.

When you don’t feel safe, worthy, nor love yourself, these mindsets create a gravitational pull to everything ‘out there’ that matches these lower vibes of self-esteem. Life will serve up the very things you often fear, as a sign post of your security vibe. Life will show you often paradoxically where you need to boost levels of love, worth and safety.

When you feel safe, you feel okay much of the time – even when you make mistakes. It feels safe even when you don’t always know exactly what to do, all of the time. It feels safe for you to be You – with or without other people’s approval.

Safety, is an inner state of being. Yes, you can live in a dangerous places – I’ve done that – and even in these situations, you can still feel safe. You can begin by claiming and affirming

I love myself,

I am enough

I am worthy,

I am always safe!

Even if at first you don’t quite believe or feel it completely. Claiming and declaring these will boost your self-esteem no end.

This does not mean there will not be days that are difficult nor that you will not have dips in your Self-Esteem Boosters. Simply no longer feed them and soon you will find yourself bouncing back. You will begin to enjoy the benefits of high self-esteem like feeling more confident, happier, healthier and successful in your daily endeavours.

YOU are your most priceless and valuable commodity! Believe in yourself and your self-esteem will follow. Actively boost yours daily with thoughts, words and actions of love, worth and safety that will nurture a healthy and loving connection and web of self-esteem. This is not to be confused with arrogance!

Hold yourself in esteem – this will help you in experiencing your purpose.

Many Blissings

Trilby

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Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Mentor and Metaphysical Intuitive, Best-Selling Author and Speaker. Her clients hire her to stop struggling and feeling stuck in body, mind, emotion and soul and move beyond limitation into wisdom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health, mindset and soul connection. Trilby assists in creating new energetic pathways that empowers and assists in resolving core issues.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment if you are ready for breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

If money talked… what would it say?

If money talked… what would it say?

If money talkedWhen it comes to being an expert in NOT having money, that used to be me! I remember so much of it really clearly. Today, I can also truly say that I wouldn’t change a thing and I learned so much about myself that now enriches my life. It’s certainly wasn’t always this way and like so many people, I felt like a fly caught in the financial web of beliefs around money – helpless, not enough, disempowered and struggling to survive.

I know what it’s like to be broke and broken.

I know what it’s like to lay sleepless worrying about how to pay for food and rent.

I know what it’s like to have a well paid job and yet feel empty inside.

I know what it’s like to be so deep in debt that all I work to earn goes to repayments.

I know what it’s like to want more money and yet feel it’s inaccessible in sufficient quantities.

I know what it’s like to pay for numerous classes on ‘how to manifest more money’ and still come up empty handed despite all the expert advice.

I know how it feels to be working my butt off and yet be stuck up against a wall financially and not see any way out.

I know what it’s like to feel totally trapped and at the mercy of my finances.

I know how it feels to be ashamed not to have the money to socialize at all and the pain of seeing people drop out of my life like flies, to be left alone and penniless.

I know how it feels to think that perhaps the only solution is suicide, because dead people don’t have to pay bills or need money.

Up until 5 years ago, this used to be my financial lifestyle and beliefs. It was a horrible and impoverished way to live. And yet in some strange and magical way, it proved to be my road to freedom. When I finally stopped and decided to have a heart to heart conversation with money, I was blown away.

I sat down to have a necessary conversation with Money and to listen to its side of the story. I did this in a contemplative state and invited money in for a talk and was open to receive its answers intuitively. This allowed money to have a shape and form of it’s choosing, beyond my past perception of it. And this talk set us both free!

At first, I felt a little bit crazy talking to money like this, because it was such unfamiliar behaviour and mindset. However, I also felt a deep sense of relief and ease – a stark contrast to the bottomless struggle I had been experiencing around money and budget up until then. So I let go and consciously trusted the process. Here are a few things that Money shared with me:

1. Money is enslaved

One of the first things that money shared with me, was that it had become enslaved to the human mindset and was being used incorrectly. It is used as a form of power over others rather than the tool of exchange and value that it wants to be.

The dominant beliefs that are held about money and what it can or cannot be used for, holds it prisoner. Although it can afford and offer us so much more, most of us are not able to receive this and this is reinforced by the judgement of those that do.

2. Money is a tool of empowerment

Money wants to be seen as a tool of empowerment. As a consumer, did you know that your power lies in where you spend your money? Consumer marketing is rigged in such a way that will keep you buying stuff you don’t need. This is how corporations get away with unethical behaviour and how consumers keep on buying products that are harmful in the long run. Buy consciously and use your buying power wisely. This is one way of being a steward of income and the relationship becomes one of mutual empowerment and servitude.

3. Money likes a budget

One way that money feels more visible is through the use of a budget. A budget gives form and shape to money. No matter how much money is available, part of conscious buying is keeping an eye on where money is going and what it is used for. So much income is wasted and is spent on unnecessary things. Remember point 2 about buying wisely – well having a budget supports this.

Money wants to encourage the use of a budget as a tool for materializing abundance rather than it’s more current perception of curbing spending. Using a budget can help to really see where and how money is spent and to change these patterns and create expansion.

4. Money is a neutral wealth contributor

There is an intrinsic value to money that is mostly overlooked and misunderstood. Money, when unshackled from the prejudice placed on it through misguided beliefs, can contribute to wealth in ways that benefits all parties. It is waiting to be of service. Many successful business entrepreneurs understand this principle intuitively and know how to get the best out of their buck.

The points above are just a few of the messages that I got from conversing with Money. It can sound crazy and then again, what is true often seems crazier than fiction. I invite you to sit down and initiate a necessary conversation with your money and have a budget in place. See what shows up for you.

When used as an extension of one’s self, money becomes a tool of personal empowerment and a way to nurture compassion and support for everyone, rather than a means to manipulate from greed, lack and separation.

For most of us, money is extremely emotional and impacts our lives in huges ways. Once we are able to find a place of relaxed calmness and really listen – above and beyond the emotions which are generally associated to indoctrinated judgements – it’s possible to experience money and abundance in a totally fresh way.

Here’s to having amazing, expansive and necessary conversations with money, on your own terms.

Many Blissings.
Trilby x


Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Mentor and Metaphysical Intuitive, Best-Selling Author and Speaker. Her clients hire her to stop struggling and feeling stuck in body, mind, emotion and soul and move beyond limitation into wisdom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health, mindset and soul connection. Trilby assists in creating new energetic pathways that empowers and assists in resolving core issues.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment if you are ready for breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom when it comes to your abundance!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

Stand up and speak out fearlessly

Did you know that public speaking is one of the most frequent and strongest fears that people have? I used to be one of them and here is what I learned. My fears stemmed from memories of numerous failed and embarrassing class speeches that had gone horribly wrong. Additionally, I grew up believing that what I had to say was not interesting anyway. Plus, I hated confrontation and public speaking was the worst case scenario. Can you relate to any of this?

Consequently, for many years I would do everything I could to avoid public speaking in any form and this meant even avoiding speaking up for myself. For a long time, I denied my inner voice that was inviting me to challenge these beliefs and to stand up and speak out fearlessly!

Don’t get me wrong. I did find many creative and ‘safe’ ways of expressing myself. Unwittingly, they have helped me to build my confidence, hone my expertise and most importantly stand in my authority and explore what I am really good at and enjoy. The advent of social media, podcasts, tele-summits, blogging and self-publishing have all contributed greatly to my ‘coaching’.

A key to effective problem solving I have found – and one that addresses all aspects of an issue – is to never face a problem head on! This can create huge resistance and amplifies feelings of frustration and overwhelm and discouragement. For example, if you are driving from A to Z and on the way there is a major road block, you would look for alternative routes and ways to get there, right? Looking for alternatives and solutions is a great way to solve problems and allows other possibilities to show up, which you may not of thought of initially. So what this advent did for me, was that I was actually learning to stand up and speak out, without seeing it as public speaking! This helped removed the fear factor and look at things from a different perspective.

It’s taken many years to finally break through this pattern of fear and shift my mindset around public speaking. Funnily enough, I realized this fully when I recently gave a talk at my local library’s ‘Author’s Evening’ to introduce my book FEARLESSLY ALONE‘ and talk about what had motivated me and why. Was I nervous? You bet! In fact, unusually so. Because this time I was presenting something that was important to me – it wasn’t like those classroom speeches where I spoke about someone else’s ideas – this was about issues that were close to my heart and I felt extremely vulnerable. Yet, I wanted to be able to stand up and speak out fearlessly, even if others were challenging me and didn’t agree. I wanted to present my ideas without being confrontational and yet inspire food for thought and challenge old concepts. And I did just that!

You see, I knew my material well. It was a part of me and my life experience. I was my resource library. To create the mindset I wanted, I looked at all the beliefs that surfaced and I shifted each and every one of them. I also created those I would need as a positive back up – confidence, self-worth, awareness, humour and being willing to be vulnerable. I was able to transmute the fear of judgement of others and the need to be wrong or right. I was there to express my interesting point of view, to offer food for thought and to create connection with those whom my information could support.

More importantly, all the previous online ‘training’ had been preparing me for this moment and as I took action, even feeling really nervous, I was able to connect to that place within where I know who I am and believe in myself. It was such a wonderful and empowering experience! So much so, that it has ignited a burning desire to stand up and speak out fearlessly more often. Who would have thought this was possible? Certainly not that shy and unhappy school girl from way back. It took me six years to manifest this evening and prepare myself mentally and emotionally and spiritually. It all began a long time ago, when my Heart’s Knowing whispered to me, “You can do it!”… and so can you!

Some steps you can take towards standing up and speaking out fearlessly are:

  • Dare to believe in your dreams, no matter how silly or far away they may seem.
  • Ask and be willing to receive.
  • Take the baby steps and actions that come with ease to you.
  • Change direction as required without losing sight of your destination.
  • Build a mindset with beliefs that support your growth and that feel good along the way.
  • Trust that any thing is possible and look for opportunities!
  • Believe in yourself!

In Light and Appreciation

Trilby


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.