Are you someone who suffers from low self-esteem? Then I have great news for you! No matter what you have believed up until this moment, it’s possible to change it. Through the right positive focus and resolving some limiting beliefs and core patterns, you can start right now, here today and feel better about yourself and build a positive self-esteem.
Self-Esteem is the regard in which you hold yourself. A lot is learned from parents, education, culture and intuition. Self-Esteem, in my experience, is very much a question about connection on a physical, mental, emotional and soul level. It’s first and foremost about the connection you have with and to yourself – how you think about and feel about yourself and the manner in which you talk to and about yourself. It’s all about you in fact!
For many years, I struggled with low self-esteem, so I know how horrible this feels. In fact, I used to hate myself and my life was miserable because of these feelings. I believed what others had told me about myself, even although it hurt terribly. What hurt so much, was that I knew deep down inside that all of that simply wasn’t true – and yet I let myself down. Until I found another and new way.
For me to get from that place of not liking or loving myself at all, to where I cultivated a level of high self-esteem, took a while plus a lot of honest introspection. So today, I want to share with you, 3 of the elements that I consciously chose to add to and cultivate in my life, that helped me to boost a high and healthy sense of self-esteem. Here’s what I learned.
1. Element of Self-Love
Having been someone who didn’t love myself very much, I can guarantee you that Loving Yourself is the most important thing you will even do. Not only for yourself – also for the other people in your life.
Then, it’s about how you relate to others in ways that either support or disempower your level of Self-Esteem Boosters. The reason is that, when you truly love yourself and allow yourself to be who you truly are – the good, the bad, the ugly and all the other bits – you are a Gift! You can be confident. You can let go of the doubt, guilt and shame – all of which were probably not yours to begin with.
It took me a long time – through bouts of depression, abusive relationships and situations, suicidal tendencies and many low and dark moments – until I realized that all I really wanted, was to love myself.
So please give your permission today, if you are not yet there, to LOVE YOURSELF. It is soooo important! And only you can take the first step and continuously move forward.
Self-Esteem Boosters is a by-product of loving yourself and not vice-versa! So make sure your are not missing out on this crucial self-esteem booster.
2. Element of Worth
I have worked with so many people, who believe that they are not enough. I used to be one of them. They believe that if they try harder or hard enough, if they give more, if they behave in a certain way, that finally they will be enough … and be worthy of other people’s praise, love, approval, or something else.
I have witnessed it and felt it myself – the huge sense of relief that comes with finally accepting and knowing that I am enough already. That I am worthy. And with this, the knowing comes that we all have worth and are worthy!!!
There is nothing to prove, despite that so many of us have been duped into believing it is something to be achieved or earned. The problems arise when we start to doubt or are led astray by other’s opinions and when we think that we have to DO something to Be Enough. We are enough . . . evident in the fact that Life itself has given us Life. We are enough!
So please, choose to know that you are worthy. This choice to know that you are worth yourself will add and Self-Esteem Boosters beyond measure.
3. Element of Safety
This may surprise many people – I know it did me, when I realized that not feeling safe had a huge impact on my sense of Self-Esteem Boosters. Many of us are so afraid of the judgement of others. Perhaps even more so and subconsciously, we are afraid of our own judgement. I don’t know about you, but I have often been my harshest and most unforgiving critic!
I can remember the acute sense of relief I experienced when I finally let go of judging myself and wanting to control everything … aahhhhh … it was amazing! I began to feel safe.
When you don’t feel safe, worthy, nor love yourself, these mindsets create a gravitational pull to everything ‘out there’ that matches these lower vibes of self-esteem. Life will serve up the very things you often fear, as a sign post of your security vibe. Life will show you often paradoxically where you need to boost levels of love, worth and safety.
When you feel safe, you feel okay much of the time – even when you make mistakes. It feels safe even when you don’t always know exactly what to do, all of the time. It feels safe for you to be You – with or without other people’s approval.
Safety, is an inner state of being. Yes, you can live in a dangerous places – I’ve done that – and even in these situations, you can still feel safe. You can begin by claiming and affirming
I love myself,
I am enough
I am worthy,
I am always safe!
Even if at first you don’t quite believe or feel it completely. Claiming and declaring these will boost your self-esteem no end.
This does not mean there will not be days that are difficult nor that you will not have dips in your Self-Esteem Boosters. Simply no longer feed them and soon you will find yourself bouncing back. You will begin to enjoy the benefits of high self-esteem like feeling more confident, happier, healthier and successful in your daily endeavours.
YOU are your most priceless and valuable commodity! Believe in yourself and your self-esteem will follow. Actively boost yours daily with thoughts, words and actions of love, worth and safety that will nurture a healthy and loving connection and web of self-esteem. This is not to be confused with arrogance!
Hold yourself in esteem – this will help you in experiencing your purpose.
Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Mentor and Metaphysical Intuitive, Best-Selling Author and Speaker. Her clients hire her to stop struggling and feeling stuck in body, mind, emotion and soul and move beyond limitation into wisdom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health, mindset and soul connection. Trilby assists in creating new energetic pathways that empowers and assists in resolving core issues.
Now, before you think that I have a drinking problem, Merlot is a beautiful black soft silky smooth female cat and not a bottle of great tasting red wine. We adopted each other a few months ago and I knew at the time that she would have a big impact on my life. It had been over 2 decades since I had shared my life with a feline personality and it has admittedly taken me a few weeks to learn and re-familiarise myself with some of their amazing and unique peculiarities. For indeed, they are a personality – as any cat lover will tell you. Cats are after all, renowned for their particularities. And yes, either you love them or you don’t.
So what has Merlot taught me.
1. Cats are not dogs
Well, yes I may be stating the obvious here, however, there is quite a distinctive difference. After all, the generalism is that dogs are givers and cats are receivers. So yes, I do get a bit peeved when I feel like a cuddle session and well, it is just not on Miss Merlot’s agenda. Admittedly, she is really patient with the crazy lady (that’s me by the way :-}) who picks her up far more than necessary for cuddles. Her body language is quite distinctive though about whether she is up for a cuddle session or not. Trying to cuddle a squirming and clawing bundle of fur is a challenge in itself.
Lesson: Everyone is unique and different
2. Just sleep until something really interesting comes along
Now Merlot is quite a house cat and she does love company. She is thrilled when I get visitors, so that she gets to see faces other than my own. Although when they arrive she does this bizarre disappearing act, only to appear ten minutes later with the air of just having stepped out of a limousine. Don’t you just love how cats can pull that off?
Used to having male cats earlier in life, who were more out of the house than in, Merlot hangs around a lot. And what does she do – well sleeps of course. I am amazed at how she will just settle down anywhere – along a wall, in the middle of the floor, on top of a cupboard, behind a curtain – and just sleep. The sleeping positions are a wonder to behold – from fully extended in a stretch, relaxingly contorted in some corner, hiding in the closet, to curling up in a seemingly impossible tight ball. Of course, all this relaxed lethargy vanishes within seconds when something esteemed interesting happens and she is off in a flash. No warm up required there.
Lesson: Rest is important and there is very little in life that is actually worth losing sleep over. So relax!
3. Be Self-ish
Cats are renowned for their particular presence and Merlot is no exception. She is the centre of the Universe, at least her own and she just expects everyone else to know this. She does not doubt herself or second-guess herself or do any profound soul searching. Just just is. If she’s in a grumpy mood, she’s grumpy. If she wants some quite time, she will find a quite spot. If she wants to eat, she will find food or make sure that her food provider (that’s me usually ;-}) takes care of things. When she wants to cuddle, she comes to cuddle.
I just get such pleasure from observing her and she has certainly contributed to me relaxing more and just going with the flow.
In our society, we have been brainwashed into thinking that doing what we truly feel like doing, is being selfish and that this is a bad thing. I watch Merlot and am filled with admiration at just how truly being selfish actually uncomplicates things and allows others to be themselves. That’s of course if one can get past the judgments and conditioning and takes responsibility for one’s behaviour and attitude.
Lesson: Be you and change the world.
4. Don’t sweat the small stuff
Yes, Merlot does get up to cat things – like sharpening her claws on my mattress base and on my beautiful carpets – in spite of the fact that she has a few trees outside and her tree inside on which to practise this. She will jump up to places that are not where I wish to find her and has turned that soft paw come sharp clawed weapon on me, just because she felt it was appropriate without even offering an explanation, I might add. So yes, I have growled at her (not like a dog though, at least not yet) and she has taken off at high speed, just because she can.
What I love about her – she doesn’t hold a grudge. Now I can hear you males out there sighing in understanding and longing, because well let’s face it that’s what females do – and they are often quite good at it, n’est pas? Well, as a female myself, I can vouch for the weightiness of holding and bearing grudges. There comes a point where it does just get all so heavy. So Merlot is like a breath of fresh air, as she will often turn up a few minutes later and be so totally over it. Her only concern – what’s next. It’s truly delightfully liberating.
Lesson: Don’t sulk and hold a grudge. Life is too short.
5. The healing power of touch
Since having Merlot in my life, my awareness of what this means has taken on a new and whole different dimension. I have always loved the contact of touch – probably why I so enjoy giving massage. There is a beauty to the moments though, when Merlot comes for her cuddle session. When listening to Dee Wallace’s I Am talks, she has often used the example of thinking of one’s child or pet, to reconnect us with a sense of total gratitude. I really get this when I cuddle Merlot. It is as if we melt into each other and I feel my heart chakra fill up and overflow. And Merlot just receives and in her receiving, she allows and honours my gifting to her. These are moments of pure unconditional being.
There is something so soothing, comforting and grace-filled that occurs when I touch her beautiful soft silky fur. When I touch her, I am touched and moved within my Being.
Lesson: Giving (or gifting) is receiving and receiving is giving
6. Communication is beyond words
Merlot, is a real talker. She will miaow for this and that and sometimes just for nothing really. Whilst sometimes, I get what she is saying, there are moments where, well, she is just expressing herself. She will just look at me with those big green eyes of her’s, with such intensity, that I know she is sharing something big. Of course, most of the time, I have no idea what she is going on about. But, is it really so important that I understand her, or is it more important just to listen to her? After all, are cat’s that much different to people, in that we sometimes just desire to share something with another?
And then of course there is the body language. Well, I find Merlot has the most fascinating tail. It really is like a receptor. And it is seldom still. I think with her, the code book for what tail movement actually mean according to humans can be thrown out the window. She has a tail language all of her own and she changes it as the days goes along. Even sometimes when asleep, the tip of the tail is still moving. Perhaps she was a dog in a past life? MMMMmmmmhhhhhh.
Lesson: Communicate in your own unique way and just know that those who are looking for what you have to say, will hear. People do truly hear what they want to. Mia culpa.
7. I Am that I Am
All animals are beautiful and grace us with their particular uniqueness. However, I do believe that cats personify this so wonderfully for us humans. It is no wonder that the ancient Egyptians worshipped them as gods, for their is something very regal in their bearing is there not? Even when they are acting like crazy, hissing, spitting, furballs of clawed energy. I think cats just do everything with flair. They act like the world revovles around them and so of course it does. They are such great examples of creating your reality and then know what you asked for is done.
I know that for me, Merlot has taught me so much already and continues to contribute to my life everyday. She is often a reflector of me and when I look at her, I can read what kind of vibration I am giving off. She provides me with companionship simply by being around and with her presence.
Lesson: I Am Perfect just the way I Am and so is everybody else
8. Energy follows energy
Merlot will often keep to herself until I am busy with a client and giving a healing session. She is amazing to watch. She usually comes in and depending on the person, will stay for verying length of time. She will usually always jump up on the table, if the client is OK with this of course. She seems to sense this though and will not come to the clients who are not willing to receive.
The healing abilities of animals have been foretold since forever. Merlot just is healing. She follows the energy, gives and receives. There is no ego involved and no mulling over what it is to be a healer. She comes in, contributes, receives and off she goes. I have felt and seen how human bodies experience healing because of her simple presence. She just IS 100% Being. It is most beautiful to behold.
Lesson: Follow the energy. Energy never lies
I could go on and on, but this is a blog site, not a book. So I will stop here for now. I know that through this blog, beautiful Merlot will be contributing to you too. She is a crazy cat and I am a crazy lady, so we make a fine pair. 🙂 For however long she chooses to be with me, I rejoice and am honoured and blessed.
With gratitude for all the amazing pets and animals out there that contribute to us and the planet. Continue to take care of each other. How did we get so lucky?
To you all, sending Light and Love.
Founder and Well-Being Facilitator at BE YU Well-Being