Relationships as Teachers

Relationships as Teachers

Relationships as Teachers

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Everything you experience in your life, is in relation to something or someone else. It is in many ways the crux with which you define your individuality and from which you will draw on as reference points. Much of our social behaviour is shaped by and through the relationships we have or do not have and how these impact on our sense of self.

Some relationships are easily identifiable and recognizable, such as family, spouses, children, colleagues, etc and in earlier days, any diverse forms of these were not accepted within society. Even today for instance, many struggle to accept same sex relationships as valid although happily attitudes are changing.

Education and information play a huge role in how we regards and manage our own relationships. So it stands to reason that if the eduction and information is biased or misguiding, then this will impact on the relationships we have, taking them at face value.

There are many more types relationships however than the mainstream ones identified and accepted. There is the relationship we have first and foremost with ourselves. What kind of a relationship do you enjoy with yourself? Is it a happy and healthy one? Is it a judgemental one? Is it one where you don’t feel you are worthy or good enough? All of these points of views are insights into the quality of relating that you have with yourself.

This is important to acknowledge, because the quality of relating that you have with yourself informs everything you do – the way you behave towards yourself and others. And also because very often the baseline for this relationship is learned by you from other people. Until you understand how deep this goes, much of your relating will be bases on and influenced by other people’s beliefs and ideology.

For instance, do you associate your emotional states with physical symptoms in your body? When I first experienced depression, I was given medical and psychiatric support, to ease my mind. There was never mention though of the connection between the numbness I felt and the wealth of emotions of anger and sadness that I had repressed for many years. There was no discussion linking the debilitating migraines that I would experience and the relationship these had to the emotional stress I had felt for many years. Thankfully I had a wonderful ally that cut through all the confusion once I began to listen to it… my body.

The human body is in my opinion one of the most sophisticated and advanced pieces of technology we have at our disposal. Through it, we relate to everything – visible and invisible. It is, I have found, an infallible resource, one we learn to tap into and listen to its hidden wisdom. For the most part, we are taught to refer to our mind for information. Whilst effective, this source of information is limited and dependent for the most part on how much information it’s possible to retrieve from memory. In Cognitive pscyhological circles, it’s acknowledged that the subconscious mind is much larger than the conscious part. Yet no mention is made to the way in which our bodies relate to these informations. The subconscious information is often ‘felt’ via the bodies senses and can be overlooked by the mental senses.

This way of relating with energy is my understanding of intuition. However, unless we are aware of the link between say physical pain and your emotions of say stress, depression, illness, we are at a disadvantage to know where to begin to make changes. And this in turn will impact on and have repercussions on all of our outer relationships with ourselves, others and situations. Of course, the same goes for postitive emotions. If you are happy, then the chances of you hanging out with people who are predominantly unhappy, is slim.

For this reason, the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you can have. The extent to which you relate well or not with yourself, will be reflected in all your other relationships and manner of relating. It is how you are connected and go about connecting.

Now perhaps this is obvious to those of you who had a positive and uplifting upbringing. For many however, who did not, this information is important because, once you change and value your relationship to self in positive and uplifting ways, then the majority of your relating and relationships will become a match.

A great place to start is to sit down and identify the qualities that you are looking for in your relationships – with yourself and then others. Set yourself free from the default setting of what a relationship is or supposed to be. Create your own relationship map, then follow that. It will lead you to the kind of relationships you are looking for and want to create. Don’t settle for second best in any relationship, whether personal or professional. Make your relationship with yourself no. 1 … and the best will follow. True love starts at home – in your Heart of Hearts – and You are the key that unlocks the treasure of all relationship in your life.

May you be your own Valentine before any other, so that love may grow strong and true from and through you.

Much love.


p.s. You may want to read my blog Don’t Overlook This When it Comes to Intimacy – where I explore the role of intimacy in relationship

Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

The Power of the Question

The Power of the Question

It was probably NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) that first introduced me to the power of question.  The supposition is that each person is using their own language and to achieve optimal communication it is necessary to crack the speaker’s code, in order to get where they are coming from.  So how do you go about this? Basically, you ask them a question and the feedback you receive in the answer is an indicator of how they view the world.

Now many people may think this is solely pertinent to a therapeutic setting. Yet, as the saying goes, as you do one thing, you do them all.  Accordingly, if you go through everyday life and interactions never questioning anything, how will you ever know what you know or what others think? And who really cares?  Just think of the party game, “Broken Telephone” where an idea is whispered from one person to the next, without any questions allowed, until the last person says out loud what they was whispered to them.  Many a laugh has ensued when the original idea is revealed and is usually a far cry from the initial utterance.

I recently consciously started to really apply question to everything and anything.  Having always been a natural questioner, as most children are, I had it drummed out of me at an age, until eventually I just stopped asking questions, or at least to grown ups or out load :-).  Just this simply action of asking a question for everything has created so much greater possibilities in my life.  It has been said that the question empowers, whereas the answer disempowers.  It took me a while to really understand this dynamic and yet I did observe more and more how when someone asks a question, everyone, myself included feels obliged to give an answer. Mind you, not just any answer – it has to be the RIGHT answer.  So where’s the empowerment in finding the right answer?

I recently participated in a training course as a participant. Very early on, I started to observe what was – and this is purely my interesting point of view – the facilitator’s lack of questioning. There was very little actual reformulation and checking back with the speaker to make sure that the question had been understood, but rather a rush to file the answer.  This is on a cognitive level, however the energetic dynamic at play here, come from the inability to receive.

Initially, as a participant and a teacher in my own right, I found myself in re-action and feeling thraughted as each time I asked a question or gave feedback, the reply or answer felt like a punch to my solar-plexus. Don’t you just love Energy ? It never lies ! 🙂  After a while, I began to ask questions about the dynamics of what was going on. Needless to say there was a lot of information there – way above the initial knee-jerk re-action I was having.

I suppose that in addition to having come away with a new and exciting modality, I came away with a clear picture of how important it is to ask a question.  Never assume, because it makes an ass out of u and me ! Asking a question is a great way to gauge the temperature of the room, so to speak.  It also takes a willingness to be the question and to be in total allowance of what shows up.  You may not like what shows up, because the power of the question is that it reveals the good, the bad and the ugly. However, is having awareness around what is really going on, not an advantage?  Would you rather know than not?  I suppose it comes down to what you choose.  For me personally, the power of the question lies in its capacity to reveal what so often lies hidden behind words.

Question has opened up so many greater possibilities in my life.  In conclusion, the power to BE ME.

With Gratitude, Light and Laughter.

Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Mentor and Metaphysical Intuitive, Best-Selling Author and Speaker. Her clients hire her to stop struggling and feeling stuck in body, mind, emotion and soul and move beyond limitation into wisdom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health, mindset and soul connection. Trilby assists in creating new energetic pathways that empowers and assists in resolving core issues.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment if you are ready for breakthrough beyond limitation into wisdom!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.