Choosing what is right for you.

Choosing what is right for you.

So, let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. Who knows and can choose what is right for you? You, right! The only person on this planet that can do this for you, is none other than yourself. Of course, you can turn to others for advice and draw even on your own past experiences. However, when it comes down to it, each choice you make will impact on your life and you will be the one to deal with the consequences. People may tell you that you are oversensitive, selfish, a bore, egotistical, a trouble maker, naive, a dreamer, arrogant, etc – and perhaps they are correct – nevertheless, whatever you may or may not be, you are the only one that can choose for you.

Being in a place of confusion or indecision is probably the most uncomfortable state in which one can be. Humans tend to respond better when they have direction and as the saying goes, you have to know where you are going, to get there. This requires making a choice in the moment now, based on the influential factors in the moment of now, that will take you into the next moment of now. In other words, choice is flexible and is our greatest tool to be used every second of the day as we go along. According to most spiritual scriptures, the one thing that the Creator gave us as our greatest quality and tool was freedom of CHOICE. It is so important to consistently be choosing again and again. Why? Well, because how do you know if something works for you or not? You have to give it a go, no? Like when purchasing new clothes, or a car, a new recipe, a new relationship, a job, etc, – you will only know what it is like when you have done it. And yet many of us have been conditioned to make a choice and then stick to it FOREVER. We actually often even convince ourselves with external circumstances that we have made the right choice, even when it is blatantly apparent that this is not in our favour.

How many of us actually choose from a place of choice and choose what is right for us? The majority of us, myself included, have been entrained into erroneously believing that we are actually choosing for ourself, when in fact we are often on the default choice of the collective consciousness. Want to test this? This becomes apparent the minute we do not conform to group, ethnic, social, cultural, financial, religious and spiritual norms, when we are made to feel weird, strange, crazy or an outsider. Most of us are unconsciously so afraid of being alone, shunned, disliked, poor, being judged and not fitting in, that we “almost” happily conform to the most acceptable social and cultural behaviours, whilst in fact robbing ourselves of our own empowerment and authenticity. I say “almost” because I find that when I buy into this charade, the feeling of emptiness within increases and there is always that little niggle that something, is just not quite right that won’t go away. This entrainment is so subtle and runs through everything and as I found out recently, is probably most insidiously dangerous and retarding when one believes that they are doing it from a place of genuineness.

I give an example from my own recent experience. I found myself working in a place that pushed a lot of buttons for me. One of Life’s generous and humourous curve balls, so to speak. 🙂 As is the case when learning a new skill, there is always a final exam and I feel that Life operates in a similar way. Not to test us – this is a linear human mental concept – but rather as the law of attraction or matching vibrational frequencies denotes, to sort out what matches or not, now. It has  been a most fantastic, enriching and enlightening experience!. It was in this situation that I began to APPLY the tools I have acquired to the situations showing up. I chose to respond rather than react. Reaction cuts off the flow of creation. The changes showed up thick and fast. Perhaps the greatest change being that I no longer shied away from confrontation when it comes to being me. Once I got that most people ain’t going to like me anyway, for their own personal reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with me or that are a reflection of me, I was able to fully embrace this state of being.

What also came under fire was my beliefs of what being a spiritual person means and unveiled the default programme running in the background. For those of you who are familiar with Neuro-linguistic Programming, this technique came about because the founders wanted to find out how experts did what they did and did it well and to basically copy this. The premise is that as all information is coded into the brain, if one was able to decipher the language used to create an expert strategy, then it would be possible to extrapolate this to other areas and strategies and thus transform behaviours. And it does. What amazes me is how the mental mind compartamentalises everything. This comes about through repetition and forms what is commonly called habits. It is only when we start to undo these neural habitual pathways that we become aware that it is indeed possible to apply all data to everything. For instance, as we do one thing, so we do it all. This is one possible explanation of why when we have an issue in one area of our life that is constantly showing up, we find that the underlying cause effects all areas of our lives. We are just more aware of it in a certain areas that others. Once the limitation is removed at the root though, the effect ripples out across the whole.

So, in this instance it seemed I was keeping spirituality and money in separate compartments of my brain. What this working experience revealed to me was this limitation in my thinking. Whilst I cognitively can recognise that both of these aspects are made of energy, the judgements I had about both and in regards to myself and how I was supposed to behave as a spiritual person, well got me in a right royal bind. I had separated myself from myself and my Source of Creation. I found myself caught between a spiritual rock and a financial hard place! In spite of the fact that my awareness was showing me quite cleary that the situation was abusive in many ways and was not working for me, I had chosen to believe that I had to stick it out for some strange spiritual misconception that confrontation is a bad thing and that I had to put up with this abuse because I needed the money.

Fortunately, this got so uncomfortable that my mental compartments finally lifted and I got that I was choosing to allow myself to be abused for money. That’s a good one, no?!?! I had allowed myself to be devalued because I – yes me – had unconsciously chosen to give away my sovereign power, to money.  The second I got this clarity, my heart chakra opened and everything shifted and I was filled with a sense of relief and peace and space. Aahhhhhhhhhh.

This shift may mean that I am criticised, judged and disliked by others. That’s okay. When we choose to stand in our Light and shine, we may shine light on our darkness and that of others’. Many will not thank us for this.  However, some may experience something different because of it. How could this turn into something even greater than anything I can imagine?

I really feel that what 2012 and beyond is about is that we all fully integrate on an intrinsic and cognitive level that we are the Creators of our Lives. That Life is constantly giving us pop up screens of what it is we are creating, not to judge ourselves with and make us right or wrong, but rather so that we can experience it and then choose again. Choice offers freedom and a state of being grateful. What if choosing can be as simple as saying, thank you for that experience. Mmmhhh. Interesting. Now I would like to choose to experience this or that too. It is about grasping the essence that I am the one I have been waiting for and that no law of attraction, deity or Universe is going to give me what I desire, if I do not create it first, by claiming and demanding it. Just as I gave my power of creation away to money, I also give it away to something outside of myself when I believe that I am not my own creator. There is no separation between me and Source, because I, as well as everyone, are Sparks of the Divine. What if the sole reason for me being here at this time on Planet Earth is to BE the Divine and to know this in every cell of my body? I Am that I Am.

I hold a vision of each and every Human Being on this planet coming to full consciousness of choice in their role of the Creator of their Life and that they can stand in the greatness of their creations with ease and joy and glory. And that each and everyone knows how precious, magnificent and valuable you are. You are a gift to the world. These are such exciting times!

It is an honour to be of service.  In Light, AL-WAYS

Trilby

What’s the value of being “nice”?

What’s the value of being “nice”?

Everywhere you are being “nice” in your life, would you like to give that up now please? I can’t hear you, so I am just going to assume that you chose to say “yes”. If you did not, well then the rest of this blog will probably not be of interest to you.

It was recently brought home to me that my whole life I have been striving to be nice. Of course underlying this was the fear of rejection and not being good enough. I have bent, twisted, contorted, deformed myself in so many ways to try and please others and to be nice, so that I would be ……….. accepted and acceptable. Well, not only did all those contortions bring me aches and pains, however they left me in a state of disrepair and disconnection with myself.  I thought that if I could be nice enough to everyone then, I would be acceptable and ultimately loved and lovable. For me, NICE meant – Not into Conflicting Energy.

I spent many years of my life confused as to why despite my niceness, people still did not respond or treat me like I wanted them to. Nothing manipulative in that train of thought now is there? So, not so nice after all 🙂
A while ago whilst listening to a talk, the speaker mentioned volcanoes and how volcanoes are the only way in which new earth mass is created. Now there is enormous conflicting energy when a volcano erupts, as the very layers of the earth are melted and ejected through the earth crust. And this gives rise to new territory. How many people shy away from conflict because it gives rise to confrontation and haven’t most of us been taught that that is not very nice!

An empath, I feel conflicting energies very keenly and this has caused me much confusion until recently. I thought, that if I was nice and people responded in an un-nice way, well then I was the root of all evil and it was my fault. I would try even harder to be nice to them and ostracise myself at the same time for not being “good enough”. I took the notion of responsability to the extreme, where my 50% of the interaction equalled 100%. STOP! This was brought home to me recently in a way that I really got it. (That’s why I am writing this blog). Whilst being polite and respectful whilst in a training situation, I observed that my questioning was being regarded as a sign of “stupidity”. Now that’s not nice. So what could I do to change this?

Well, I am happy to say, that I have chosen to exacerbate the situation even more by being me – that includes the good, the bad and the ugly. I am going to be so irritating with my questions and feed the idea that I am stupid. I actually find it extremely humourous! Why? I for some strange reason jumped to the assumption that people actually are interested in connecting with others and getting to know them, that a supervisor really wants to support and build up others, to find fulfilment in their own daily lives, and that others’ aim in life is to be nice. Isn’t that NICE?! All that is nice about it, is that it made a not so nice ass out of me. I assumed that everyone else was like me and wanted what I did. Oops. The only one like me is ………… me.  So what to do?

Happily, I finally grew tired enough of wanting to please everyone and have handed back others their 50%. People are choosing to be what they are. Nothing I do or say can change that. All I know is that I have to live my life for me. Each Soul does not actually care whether the personality is a nice or   not nice one. Did Hitler’s Soul judge him? I doubt it. For the Soul everything is simply an experience of being. How are we to understand cruelty and murder and genocide if we do not go there? Yet our personality likes to pretend and judge and well, as far as I am concerned gets us in a not so nice mess. I am not condoning certain behaviour more than any other and can only add the reminder that when we point the finger, there are more fingers pointing back at us.

There is no way that I can ever please everyone. I am lucky if I manage to please even 5% of the people that I interact with in my life time – and yes this does include family members 🙂 How can I not be disliked and rejected?  The odds are stacked up against me regardless, or are they? What if I can find freedom within these odds? If the odds of my pleasing others is so low, well this gives me the freedom to do and be who I like, simple because I will never please sufficient numbers anyway and hell, I might as well be getting what I desire out of my life whilst I am living it, no?!  Today, NICE means Now In Concious Expansion. What others think of me, is none of my business and whether I am included or excluded matters not, because I always will be in the best of company, if I choose it now – my own. I Am everything, the good, the bad and the ugly. I Am the Enlightenment that I Am.

I Am Now in Conscious Expansion. For those of you who wish to journey beside me – welcome and fasten your seat belt. As for the rest, enjoy your expansion.

All I know is, that’s the way this NICE cooky crumbles …………….

With gratitude and light.

Trilby.

www.beyuwellbeing.com

Everything I needed to know, I learned from Merlot!

Everything I needed to know, I learned from Merlot!

Now, before you think that I have a drinking problem, Merlot is a beautiful black soft silky smooth female cat and not a bottle of great tasting red wine. We adopted each other a few months ago and I knew at the time that she would have a big impact on my life. It had been over 2 decades since I had shared my life with a feline personality and it has admittedly taken me a few weeks to learn and re-familiarise myself with some of their amazing and unique peculiarities. For indeed, they are a personality – as any cat lover will tell you.  Cats are after all, renowned for their particularities. And yes, either you love them or you don’t.

So what has Merlot taught me.

1. Cats are not dogs

Well, yes I may be stating the obvious here, however, there is quite a distinctive difference. After all, the generalism is that dogs are givers and cats are receivers. So yes, I do get a bit peeved when I feel like a cuddle session and well, it is just not on Miss Merlot’s agenda. Admittedly, she is really patient with the crazy lady (that’s me by the way :-}) who picks her up far more than necessary for cuddles.  Her body language is quite distinctive though about whether she is up for a cuddle session or not. Trying to cuddle a squirming and clawing bundle of fur is a challenge in itself.

Lesson: Everyone is unique and different

2. Just sleep until something really interesting comes along

Now Merlot is quite a house cat and she does love company. She is thrilled when I get visitors, so that she gets to see faces other than my own. Although when they arrive she does this bizarre disappearing act, only to appear ten minutes later with the air of just having stepped out of a limousine. Don’t you just love how cats can pull that off?

Used to having male cats earlier in life, who were more out of the house than in, Merlot hangs around a lot. And what does she do – well sleeps of course. I am amazed at how she will just settle down anywhere – along a wall, in the middle of the floor, on top of a cupboard, behind a curtain – and just sleep. The sleeping positions are a wonder to behold – from fully extended in a stretch, relaxingly contorted in some corner, hiding in the closet, to curling up in a seemingly impossible tight ball. Of course, all this relaxed lethargy vanishes within seconds when something esteemed interesting happens and she is off in a flash. No warm up required there.

Lesson: Rest is important and there is very little in life that is actually worth losing sleep over. So relax!

3. Be Self-ish

Cats are renowned for their particular presence and Merlot is no exception.  She is the centre of the Universe, at least her own and she just expects everyone else to know this. She does not doubt herself or second-guess herself or do any profound soul searching. Just just is. If she’s in a grumpy mood, she’s grumpy. If she wants some quite time, she will find a quite spot. If she wants to eat, she will find food or make sure that her food provider (that’s me usually ;-}) takes care of things. When she wants to cuddle, she comes to cuddle.

I just get such pleasure from observing her and she has certainly contributed to me relaxing more and just going with the flow.

In our society, we have been brainwashed into thinking that doing what we truly feel like doing, is being selfish and that this is a bad thing. I watch Merlot and am filled with admiration at just how truly being selfish actually uncomplicates things and allows others to be themselves. That’s of course if one can get past the judgments and conditioning and takes responsibility for one’s behaviour and attitude.

Lesson: Be you and change the world.

4. Don’t sweat the small stuff

Yes, Merlot does get up to cat things – like sharpening her claws on my mattress base and on my beautiful carpets – in spite of the fact that she has a few trees outside and her tree inside on which to practise this. She will jump up to places that are not where I wish to find her and has turned that soft paw come sharp clawed weapon on me, just because she felt it was appropriate without even offering an explanation, I might add. So yes, I have growled at her (not like a dog though, at least not yet) and she has taken off at high speed, just because she can.

What I love about her – she doesn’t hold a grudge. Now I can hear you males out there sighing in understanding and longing, because well let’s face it that’s what females do – and they are often quite good at it, n’est pas? Well, as a female myself, I can vouch for the weightiness of holding and bearing grudges. There comes a point where it does just get all so heavy. So Merlot is like a breath of fresh air, as she will often turn up a few minutes later and be so totally over it. Her only concern – what’s next. It’s truly delightfully liberating.

Lesson: Don’t sulk and hold a grudge. Life is too short.

5. The healing power of touch

Since having Merlot in my life, my awareness of what this means has taken on a new and whole different dimension. I have always loved the contact of touch – probably why I so enjoy giving massage. There is a beauty to the moments though, when Merlot comes for her cuddle session. When listening to Dee Wallace’s I Am talks, she has often used the example of thinking of one’s child or pet, to reconnect us with a sense of total gratitude. I really get this when I cuddle Merlot. It is as if we melt into each other and I feel my heart chakra fill up and overflow. And Merlot just receives and in her receiving, she allows and honours my gifting to her. These are moments of pure unconditional being.

There is something so soothing, comforting and grace-filled that occurs when I touch her beautiful soft silky fur. When I touch her, I am touched and moved within my Being.

Lesson: Giving (or gifting) is receiving and receiving is giving

6. Communication is beyond words

Merlot, is a real talker. She will miaow for this and that and sometimes just for nothing really. Whilst sometimes, I get what she is saying, there are moments where, well, she is just expressing herself. She will just look at me with those big green eyes of her’s, with such intensity, that I know she is sharing something big. Of course, most of the time, I have no idea what she is going on about.  But, is it really so important that I understand her, or is it more important just to listen to her? After all, are cat’s that much different to people, in that we sometimes just desire to share something with another?

And then of course there is the body language. Well, I find Merlot has the most fascinating tail. It really is like a receptor. And it is seldom still. I think with her, the code book for what tail movement actually mean according to humans can be thrown out the window. She has a tail language all of her own and she changes it as the days goes along. Even sometimes when asleep, the tip of the tail is still moving. Perhaps she was a dog in a past life? MMMMmmmmhhhhhh.

Lesson: Communicate in your own unique way and just know that those who are looking for what you have to say, will hear. People do truly hear what they want to. Mia culpa.

7. I Am that I Am

All animals are beautiful and grace us with their particular uniqueness. However, I do believe that cats personify this so wonderfully for us humans. It is no wonder that the ancient Egyptians worshipped them as gods, for their is something very regal in their bearing is there not? Even when they are acting like crazy, hissing, spitting, furballs of clawed energy. I think cats just do everything with flair. They act like the world revovles around them and so of course it does. They are such great examples of creating your reality and then know what you asked for is done.

I know that for me, Merlot has taught me so much already and continues to contribute to my life everyday. She is often a reflector of me and when I look at her, I can read what kind of vibration I am giving off. She provides me with companionship simply by being around and with her presence.

Lesson: I Am Perfect just the way I Am and so is everybody else

8. Energy follows energy

Merlot will often keep to herself until I am busy with a client and giving a healing session. She is amazing to watch. She usually comes in and depending on the person, will stay for verying length of time. She will usually always jump up on the table, if the client is OK with this of course. She seems to sense this though and will not come to the clients who are not willing to receive.

The healing abilities of animals have been foretold since forever. Merlot just is healing. She follows the energy, gives and receives. There is no ego involved and no mulling over what it is to be a healer. She comes in, contributes, receives and off she goes. I have felt and seen how human bodies experience healing because of her simple presence. She just IS 100% Being. It is most beautiful to behold.

Lesson:  Follow the energy. Energy never lies

I could go on and on, but this is a blog site, not a book. So I will stop here for now. I know that through this blog, beautiful Merlot will be contributing to you too. She is a crazy cat and I am a crazy lady, so we make a fine pair. 🙂 For however long she chooses to be with me, I rejoice and am honoured and blessed.

With gratitude for all the amazing pets and animals out there that contribute to us and the planet. Continue to take care of each other. How did we get so lucky?

To you all, sending Light and Love.

Trilby

Founder and Well-Being Facilitator at BE YU Well-Being

The Struggle with Struggle

The Struggle with Struggle

Am I addicted to struggle? Is my life-long search to find myself a part of this? Definitely! At least up until NOW 🙂  There is a drama and intensity in struggle, I have found. It appeases the Doing-Part of me. Yet, my Being just waits on the sideline, peaceful, calm, allowing, knowing that the struggle is part of the illusion ………….

Whilst in total gratitude for the many authors, songs, personal development techniques that have lead me to this moment, there is, I know a fine line between true Being and struggling to Be. Not quite the same dynamic. I also stand in my knowing that each modality has been a step on the journey and not the journey itself.

I stood proudly in my struggle to be better, to resolve my problems and in my efforts to BE-COME.

BE-COME what? I Am already. The illusion that one needs to become anything is that which creates the struggle. Like a dog chasing its own tail – fun for a while, usually just ending though and leaving one with a few tufts of hair between the teeth and having had a few moments of fun perhaps ……

The White Book by Ramtha, is basically about struggle. The struggle to BE. Well it makes for an interesting Life, but what if interesting is not enough? What if there is more to Life than just interesting? Struggle can be interesting up to a point, however, it can also become the yoke around one’s neck. Struggle stems from the desire to be perfect. Perfectionism is not something in the present moment – it is the brain’s way of keeping us in continual conflict, struggle and polarity.  Why?

Because, the bottom line or underlying energy of struggle is that of lack. Is there ever not enough or the possibility of something more, however, coming from that space of expansion and not limitation? There are always more stepping stones, winding ahead into greater possibilities. Release the struggle means choosing to stay on the same step or take the next ……. one step at a time …….. the time of choice is NOW! Take a deep breath and just breathe in and out ……. there is no answer ……… just BE-ing ………… without struggle …………………

Gratitude and Light.

Trilby

Trilby Johnson, is a Well-Being Facilitator, living and working in and from New Zealand. If any of the modalities that she uses resonates with you, please contact her via her website. 

The FREE Price Tag

The FREE Price Tag

FREE!  Wow, has this been brought into my awareness over the last few days!! I thought I would do like most others and follow the marketing tips by offering some free coaching sessions. Admittedly, with the intention of drawing more people in. I could just see them just discovering what a wonderful experience this was and then of course, signing up for more coaching. I really thought people would just jump at the chance to experience this.  Right? Uh, not quite!!

Firstly, I had no fish biting at all. Mmhhhhhhh. Not good enough bait? So I started asking questions. What was right about this that I was not getting? What showed up?

1. I felt deflated that no one had even responded. Where is the joy in that?

2. I fell into self-doubt, which is the ultimate attitude of lack. Where is the joy in that?

3. I tried to cognitively understand the cause as to why people would not jump at this free offer. Where is the joy in that?

4. I did actually facilitate two free sessions and the feedback was – honestly – nothing had changed. Of course, I took full responsability for this outcome – both mine and theirs. Generous or stupid? Where is the joy in that?

OK, so is it only me that’s sees a pattern here? Where is the JOY!!

This has been such a valuable lesson for me. Basically, how much do I value what I do? Am I valueing myself and standing in my joy when I give my services away for FREE or no thing?

Isn’t the Universe or LOA, wonderful? The information is always there and it will continue to show up in a myriad of ways – until we finally get it. For me, it was someone asking me this question: what is the value of giving away your sessions for free? GLOP!!This brought me up short, to a stockstill stand. There was no value and there was no JOY.

What I got out of it:

1. I am valuable and so are the gifts that I offer.

2. Anything FREE is not valuable enough to shift anyone’s belief. It’s simply too easy and therefor cannot work, thus has no value.

3. In the grand scheme of things, there is always an exchange of some kind. This is Law. It just probably never shows up like we expect it to.

4. My work and time is valuable. This involves my greatest commodity – my attention. So, to honour the exchange of energies, my time = money.

Now, knowing all this is of true value – and it did not come for FREE, but with blood, sweat and tears.

I Am Valued and Valuable. I Am supported and acknowledged in all I do, by My-Self, and Others.

In Gratitude and Light!

Trilby