You’ve probably heard about the X Factor but have you heard about the H Factors? This is not about the TV show and more about setting your own default value settings so that you will be the star in your own life. When it comes to living a successful life, I believe there are two H factors that you must add to your value system to have this – Happiness and Health!
The motivation behind much of what humans do, is to have these two things in life. All the running after success, love and money is basically linked to these two aspects of life. Ask people what they want most in life and ultimately when you drill right down, it’s about being happy and healthy. Yet for many, these two simple factors are rare or sporadic. Many spend their lives working hard to earn money and make ends meet, only to lose along the way, the very things they have been aiming for in the first place and long-term – their happiness and health. Suddenly, the future can look and feel really bleak.
My new book ‘Fearlessly Alone – Stop the Lonely Crisis and Find Your Happy’ takes an insightful and informative look at how happiness and health are imperative to living a fulfilled life and how to achieve them. It is important to add and prioritize these values in your life, to give yourself a fighting chance at peace, prosperity and a purposeful relationship with yourself and consequently others too.
Your values are a set of core principles that you use in making decision across your life based on importance and need. Not to be confused with your beliefs, which are basically assumptions that we take to be true. A conflict of values can arise when two important values come into play and you have to make an important life decision. For instance, whether to stay in a job you hate and find boring for security because you’ve been there for years, or to go for a new job where you can express your value of creativity and independence but there is less job and financial security.
Throughout your life, you strive to meet your values – like respect, love, faith, happiness, health, family, abundance, time, money, etc – and that are the backbone to so many of your choices. It’s important to ask questions when it comes to the ranking of your values, especially when having a conflict of values. Because there is a reason behind this and it may not always be what you think it is.
Prioritizing and updating your values is very important because you and the situations you find yourself in change. When I did this exercise a few years ago, imagine my astonishment when I saw that happiness and health were not even in the top 10. No wonder there seemed to be a lack around happiness and health. Actively participating in your values settings, helps to prioritize them in your subconscious mind and is boosted further when you set positive intentions. It’s about adding value to your life, when and how it serves you best.
Here is a short exercise to help you identify and update your top 10 core values are:
When it comes to your personal values about happiness and health, the way you feel can offer up wonderful and powerful clues. Tune in to your body and sense where the feelings are physical sensations and what they feel like. For instance, do you feel heavy or light. Your body is the best barometer you will ever have when it comes to making the best life choices for you. Simply because, if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t the best choice – for you, in the moment. Check in regularly as you are constantly changing with each choice you make. What makes you happy or feel healthy today, may not be the same in two weeks time.
The more you clarify your values and the beliefs you hold around happiness and health, the more confident you can be when making important life decisions. Your happiness and health and how you create and sustain them are so important to feeling confident and fulfilled in your life. Incorporating these H Factors into your decisions will put the You into Value! That’s what happened for me, once I did. And the same is possible for you too.
In Light and Appreciation
Trilby
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Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!
©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.
Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.
Many people seem to believe that the greatest gift of love to another, is to offer their love. Whilst this is indeed a precious gesture, is this really true or unconditional love?
What if,this is like offering a tool to someone that frankly they have no use for? Even though they appreciate the gesture. What if the highest intent when loving someone, is to love them in the way they need to be loved? Asking them what tool they require and if it will be useful to them. I always remember Louise Hay’s question, “how can I love you more today?”. So often I observe people in their talking about relationships saying that they want someone who will do this and that with them and to share in their interests. When they meet up for their first date, so many just talk about themselves. But what about the other person? What about what interests them?
In the methodology of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) this is a very important premise. Understanding the language of the other. If communication is to be successful, then it is imperative to use the words that make sense to the person being communicated with. This seems to make so much sense, yet many people experience difficult communication which leads to misunderstanding due to not checking in with the other person, firstly that they have understood. Have you ever experienced or overheard a conversation where you say one thing, the other person says another, there is disagreement, only to later find out that you meant the same thing? This is an example of where people with different cognitive modalities are talking, but unwittingly at each other rather than with each other. It is about choosing the form of words that suit the mental map of the other party. For example, for people who collect data visually, certain words like imagine or questions like ‘can you see?’ make the conversation flow. So for people who are auditive or kinesthetic it would certainly facilitate things to use words that ‘speak’ to them. I believe it is similar when it comes to emotional relationships, which are forms of conversation.
If people are to experience truly fulfilling, satisfying and loving relationship, where there is a vulnerable intimacy possible, I believe we must change our expectations of relationship. Especially the main one – our relationship with ourselves. We have to face our own demons or shadow selves and love them into simply being – beyond judgment – so that the shadow can expand into the light. Having experienced seriously dis-functional relationships, I chose to really sit down and take a long hard look at what kept on showing up. And then taking ownership. Standing in my responsibility as a Creator and embracing it all – the good, the bad and the ugly. For after all, it is who I am. And I choose to be in love with whatever that is and looks like.
Yes of course there is always space for expansion, however there is a huge difference when this comes from a place of judgment – or polarity reality – rather than from a space of ‘now what amazing adventure would I like to create, be, have, experience and generate next?”. Then I can come from a place and space of true being that lends a sense of communion to all relating. Then I can stand In Love and lose nothing of myself when loving another as they require it. When the ego falls away it becomes easy to do, because it is no longer about ‘how I will love you” and rather ‘let me explore the many ways to love and love you differently’.
The more I travel this road of Knowing Myself the more I understand the importance of what truly loving oneself first, means for me. It is only then that there is no requirement to be loved by another, because one already is In Love. Then what flows forth when together with another is a dance of joy and participation and of expansion and of experiencing something new each day. There is already a sense of wholeness that requires simple self-expression rather than validation from and by another. When the “I” in the relationship becomes the ‘We’ of the Relationship – The Oneness. The real love question therefore in my opinion, is in learning to speak the the language of the Beloved – the true language (and message) of love.And it starts with self-love and is perpetuated from there.
May you Be In Love!
In Light
Trilby
Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!
©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.
Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.
The terrorist events back in 2015 in Paris shook many of us to the core and raised a new level of awareness around war and peace. It has shaken our sense of security, however flimsy that may actually be and awoken in us the fear that we are no longer safe. Whilst the recent incidents in Paris most certainly got the Western world’s attention, it has of course raised issues as well about all the other events of mass suffering that are going on and that get little media focus. It has also made the levels of fear skyrocket which is the motive of anyone who uses force and brutality. And for the most part it worked. Or did it?
In the moment perhaps, but there is something new being born, apparent on social networking and beyond the main medias reach. There is a movement of trust and love and a willingness to take accountability showing up. And so whilst many are indeed experiencing fear, which is a legitimate emotion, there also is an awareness that it is now time to make a choice. The new age is now today and I feel we are being shown quite clearly that the choices we make from this moment on, are of pivotal importance. It’s a matter of trust. More to the point however, is trust in who or what and can anything be trusted at all in these uncertain times?
I see a new thought field around love gathering momentum and thank goodness many more people appear to be responding with love rather than reacting in fear. And yet this upsurge of destructive action indicates that for many love is still an illusive state of being, despite this new unfolding of a very strong desire and demand to move away from violence as means of accomplishing anything of value and sustainable.
What is also in question here is, who is responsible? We blame society, but we are society. And so it really is time to stop and take a long hard look at our daily actions. For the most part, most people agree that all you need is love, as the Beatles sang. Yet what is visible in the external world and a reflected representation of the underlying inner and subconscious world, within us, is that there is not that much love. As more Light is brought in, the Shadows will also show up in stark contrast and this is what is occurring. I myself have desired to be more loving and yes loved and yet this simple desire on its own has not proven easy to attain. This, in spite of and despite my choosing to love more. Beginning with myself. It is in my journey of falling in love with myself again, that I uncovered what for me is the missing link, that will bind the intention to the behaviour and experience. A matter of trust!
In my exploration of my shadow-self, I uncovered a side to what is supposedly ‘love’ that is nasty, controlling, selfish, disempowering and terribly confusing. Listen to many of the love songs on the radio today and the message they give. Love always seems to be unrequited. What’s with that? There must be something missing! And whilst love does seem to be all we need, the current definition and implicit meanings within this noun and verb are creating terrible suffering and misguided information. The word ‘love’ has been so misused and abused that people find themselves running after this state often only to crash down with terrible disappointment and harm. How many times have you been told that it’s for your own good and because you are loved, when in fact it was just another step in applying a notion that belongs to someone else. Love is so tangled up in social and religious and cultural beliefs that it has been strangled almost to death. If love is truly to be what saves us, then it is in desperate need of an overhaul. Or we need a new way to access it’s potential.
Now don’t get me wrong. I believe very much in love and yes I am a romantic. However, I am no longer caught up in the entrainment that is behind the general definition and use of this word in so many cases. If love was as simple as that, then how come it is such a struggle for so many? In my experience, true love requires a safe place in which it can truly unfold and blossom. For love to sprout in our hearts and mind, requires vulnerability beyond the daily demands of the ego that is rooted in belief systems that do not always serve our personal values. For love to truly become visible in my daily experience, something that I could feel in every fibre of my being, I first had to choose to trust myself. Without trusting in me, my life lay around me in tatters and no matter how much I wanted to build something loving, the foundations were shaky and so always crumbled. Trust is the foundation on which love stands. Your trust for yourself, no one else. Trust is when you choose to follow your own inner voice no matter what, because it’s Knowing cannot be denied anymore.
So much of the misunderstanding around love I believe is because it is like a carrot that has been dangled in front of our noses for centuries. Yet it is seldom achievable by the masses. For me the missing link is a matter of trust. Without trust in yourself it is difficult to trust in life, because life will reflect back to you, all the places you distrust yourself and there is nowhere for love to plant its roots. To open your heart so wide that you are totally exposed and yet totally whole, takes trust. As long as self-trust is missing, true love will continue to slip through our fingers. Always just out of reach. Like learning to run before you can walk. Trust is about consciously choosing to know and continue to choose to know that you are always safe, that life is but a dream and that love is a many splendid thing. Through Receiving Unconditionally Spirit Talks.
Life has shown me that before I can truly embrace my Greatness, I have to trust in myself. And love, happiness, joy, well-being are all the fruits of this choice to listen to those whispers of my Heart’s Knowing. Trust for me is my connection to knowing that I too am a part of All That Is and that runs through everything. True Love is unconditional and flows through everything, yet trust is the key to receiving. When you are missing this key, it is difficult to receive because there is no trust. No trust in yourself, that you are Divine enough to know and significant enough to receive. Therefore true love continues to wait patiently and unconditionally until you do. It’s a matter of trust!
This is a vast and complex topic and of course you will have your own points of view. I just feel it is time to address what I see is going on. Not just for myself but with the many clients I work with. The issue always comes down to self-trust. This is just one aspect and one possibility though. One way that turned my life around and continues to do so. This understanding of trust – Through Receiving Unconditionally Spirit Talks – came to me whilst writing my book ‘A-Ha Moments – Inspirational Quotes to Shift Your Thinking’. If you enjoyed this blog and the ideas explored here and wish to have your own copy, please go here – Books.
I really feel that we are all being called. It is time now to choose either love or fear. It begins with you, because you are the co-creator and everything you choose to think, feel, have, do, create and generate is a creative force that stems from within you. It is an invitation to look deep within your shadows because that is where the real you is hiding, buried under mountains of judgment. Hiding with all your potential. Trust in yourself. And when you go wrong, then choose to trust in yourself again. Trusting in you is perhaps the most important choice you can ever make if you truly wish to fully receive the experience of unconditional love.
Sending Light to everyone. Holding a vision that you choose to trust yourself. Please love yourself so much that it will never ever be possible to harm yourself or another. The way in which you trust yourself matters much more than you perhaps know.
Be bold. Be courageous. Be in trust.
In Light and Appreciation.
Trilby
Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!
©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.
Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.
Is distraction stealing your life away? Talking with a friend a few days ago, we were discussing the busyness over the Christmas and New Year period and how this can distract us from our true resolutions. Whether you actively participate in the festivities or not, you are bound to be affected by this time of year and through those around you. It’s about this time in January that the fervour is over and life begins to return to a more sedate pace and when a true state of reflection and a perhaps more plausible setting of targets is possible. Remember, even when it comes to choosing what you wish to add or release from your Life in this exciting new year, timing is everything. If you do not take the appropriate time to sit in quiet and conscious reflection and then begin to map out your plan of action, you may experience – yet again – that distraction is stealing your Life away.
Yes, it’s written there in the word itself! Can you see it? Distr-action is there to distract you from taking action. Focus is so easily lost as we are bombarded nowadays with information and calls for action from all sides. But how much of what you do is in alignment with what you really – and I mean REALLY – desire for you and your Life? Whilst humans have developed the ability to multitask in so many ways, the more I have really looked into the importance of focus – the ability to be fully conscious in activity – the more I see the distraction inherent within multitasking. As a massage therapist I learned that touching or massaging two different areas of the body at the same time, causes the brain to ‘defocus’ and creates a – in this case – a deliberate state of distraction. As you are not able to focus on two things at once, with equal attentiveness or consciousness, your cognition will be channeled to the most predominant stimuli being experienced. Which in the instance of massage is relaxation, or in other words relief from tension. So it stands to reason that when you are doing two or even more different tasks at the same time, this causes the brain to defocus and can actually become a distraction that can lead to error or inaccuracy. The ability to maintain an overall main focus is very powerful and creates a force that not many will dare to mess with or confront. This does not mean that focus has to become obsessive and over thousands of year’s the human brain has evolved to make repeated behaviours more habitual, thus streamlining and automating the small stuff. Whilst handy this may not always be optimally beneficial! If you still find yourself having to make the same old same resolutions each year to improve yourself, then it is highly likely that you are allowing distractions like diet, jobs, shopping, relationships, issues of lack around money, health and love to steal your Life away.
So how can you get your Life back? I have found that beginning each day with a declared point of focus helps me to stay calmer and more productive. I keep a sharp eye out for those distractions which creep into conversations, give priority to mobile phone calls, enticing activities that have nothing to do with my daily target. For example, busy with writing my next book for publication later this year, I know that instead of blogging, I wish to focus on writing my book. When I move my focus from writing content that needs to go into my book rather than in a blog or social media, I have to watch it. So I looked for a win-win solution by writing this blog about distractions and touching base with my readers at the beginning of this new year. Then get back to writing focused content for my book.
Make a list of your daily targets and tick them off as you get them. This is taking action. Even if you do not complete your list, keep at it. This is still meant to be fun. It is also a great way to acknowledge and celebrate all that you do achieve. Whatever you do, do it fully present! That way distraction has less chance of sneaking up on you and into your life.
Another great reminder is to notice your breath. Usually when you are in a place of distraction, your body responds to this. So by observing your breathing, you can get an idea of where you are on the scale of allowing yourself to be distracted. The choice to stop and take the action of consciously breathing then allows you to refocus and take the action out of distractions. The act of breathing focuses you back into my body. And then you are able to choose again from a place of focused attention and step out in alignment with your daily aspirations, rather than alongside them. Don’t let distraction steal your focus inappropriately. Follow your breathe – it knows the natural rhythm of the present moment.
Action is something that happens NOW. Whatever comes after that towards reaching a goal is detail. It chops and changes, but when you are totally present, it just becomes a part of the flow. Each moment is tremendously precious, not because you may miss out on doing something, rather because it is a moment of pure creation made available each and every second. Start thinking about it in this way and asking yourself – which helps to keep you present and focused – what would I like to create with this?. Time abounds with creative instances and with your consciousness, you breathe form into being.
May you make and take focused action, so that this year is full of YOU, as you step out and embrace your Life. The world needs you to be living fully here and now. This is why you are here at this time. Distraction steals this knowing from you. Put a stop to it.
Many blessings and in love and light.
Trilby
As an Intuitive Energy Healer, both for humans and animals, I cannot stress enough the importance of transmuting the vibrational frequency at the root cause of any symptom. Until this is done, the body is locked in a vice-like repetitive loop.
Pharmaceuticals are synthetic copies of what Nature already provides us with as healing agents, such as air, water, food and plant remedies. Because they are synthetic the body’s ability to decipher their codes is hindered and this is what is labelled as ‘side-effects’. Whilst medication may be a temporary and necessary relief strategy, it cannot bring a long term solution to a dis-ease.
As far as research for cures go, please know that most of this research is funded by these very same pharmaceutical companies, who also fund most medical schools. These are profitable institutions that sadly have ever increasing profit margins, as people feel confused and scared about their health.
Many medical professionals unfortunately do not even know about or suggest alternative methods to their patients. Please be pro-active and ask them, or find out from friends or google alternative therapies. Holistic healing is about creating balancing in and between the body, mind and soul. Your health is your wealth. Don’t make it merely the business and profit margins of pharmaceuticals!
Energy work is a beautiful effective non-invasive way to transmute the energetic imprint without necessarily knowing the root cause.
The symptom is the tip of the iceberg and for true healing, i.e. wholeness, to be fulfilled, it is necessary to address the deeper lying issues under the surface. Popping a pill will not do this long-term. There is no wholistic healing pill.
Here’s to your Wholistic Health.
In Light.
Trilby
p.s. join me on FaceBook at www.facebook.com/trilbytheconnective
Trilby Johnson is a Breakthrough Mentor, Intuitive Healer, Author and Speaker. Clients hire her to acquire new life skills and experience an inner shift of awareness that inspires and propels them into a greater reality. Trilby’s abilities and knowledge helps promote an inner harmony and outer balance that helps to heal, alleviate stress and cultivate freedom.
©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.
Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.